Your home can either bring peace and harmony to you, or it
can bring chaos, overwhelm, and stress. When I left my kids dad, I realized two
things:

1.      After being with the same person for 14 years, I
lost myself & I didn’t know who I was without him.

2.      I was not only being forced to start my life
over in that season, but I had to change my entire life as I knew it.

If I am completely honest, it
didn’t take me long to realize that “home” was not just the place I depended on
to eat, sleep, and gather with family and friends, it was my safe haven. What
do I mean by safe haven? Well, I covered all the details of what a safe haven
is, in a complete chapter in my first book, “Hot Mess to Totally blessed”. It
became important to me that my home was the place my daughters and I could run
to when life outside felt overwhelming or out of control. Our home is the only
place where we can have total control without influence or pressure from the
outside world. The problem is, when we live with other people, we can be
influenced by them and their lifestyle as well. And when that lifestyle is not
in alignment with the lifestyle we desire, stress creeps in!

This is why your home is stressing you out!

If you don’t realize that your home is an environment that reflects
your character, you can become controlled by other people and the environments
you see on social media. The people you surround yourself with affect you the
most.  We no longer must give control of
other people and things in our life! We just have to learn how to react to our them,
by creating our ZEN PLACES & SPACES!

Let me go a little deeper into mindset and awareness for a
brief second. Being aware that you want less stress in your life is becoming
more conscious of yourself and your environment. To be conscious is to be in a
state of awareness, or another word I like to use is to be “perceptive”. First
let me say that I believe we were all born with the holy spirit who guides us.
You can call this intuition or discernment, but we are all capable of it. However,
many of us get clouded by society. To be self-aware is to not allow our minds
to float away into never ever land. It is easy to allow ourselves to get lost
in the flow of certain environments, with certain people, while doing certain
things. But being aware of that and avoiding the things that can take control
of our thoughts and actions, is part of being self-aware and having self-control
in the process. I also believe that becoming self-aware can only happen by
getting into the Word and learning how to be present with thyself and God. To
be conscious is to discern and to discern is to be intuitive of your
environment.

When you become aware of your environment, you’ll realize
how important it is for you to pay closer attention to the things you bring in
and out of your home. To bring attention the life lens you look through is to
bring attention to everything you think about and everything your body does and
how you react to everything and everyone around you. When we want less stress,
we have to become very aware of what stresses us out and eliminate it from our
life completely. I am about to get very specific right now, so I am going to
ask to lean in and pay close attention to what I am about to say. To lean in
will bring attention to all the things that are actually stressing you out that
you may not be aware of.

“What do you have in your home that could be potentially causing you stress?”

Most people don’t realize this but there could be negative
energy in pictures, trinkets, furniture, and things in your home. Ask yourself,
this question about the items you put in your home.

1.      Where does the item come from?  

2.      What memories do they trigger?

3.      Do the things in your home make you happy?
Stressed? Or overwhelmed?

4.      What is attached to each object in your home?

 

When we think of adding furniture or accessories to our
home, we have to ask ourselves, “where does the item come from”? Does it come
from an old relationship, a divorce, a deceased relative, a family member, or friend
that you no longer speak to? Where do all the items in your space come from? By
recognizing that the items you place in your home could trigger a negative
memory or tramatic time, we are acknowledging that and are able to eliminate
it. I like to call this a season of “Letting go of the old and allowing the new
to come in!” It is better to bring new pieces in that haven’t been tainted with
passed trauma or drama.  We also need to
ask ourselves “what memories do the items in your home trigger”? “Do the things
in your home make you happy, or do they give you a feeling of stress or
overwhelmed?”  These questions may not be
at the surface of your thoughts when you are decorating your home. But let me
just be blunt, if that picture on the shelf reminds you of a bad day or a day
of drama, take it down! In other words, who is in those pictures you put up,
and what do they really represent?

Listen, I remember leaving my kids dad, and when I moved
into my new home, I wanted to fill it with experiences and family/childhood
memories. But if I am completely honest, the pictures I put up did the exact
opposite for me. Yes, we smiled! And yes, we looked happy and beautiful in the
pictures. But I realized quickly that many of those pictures just brought back
negative memories for me of the days fighting with their dad. Those pictures had
memories attached to them that reminded me of all the pain and hurt I went
through in that relationship. You know what I am talking about don’t you? Those
pictures when your like “That was such a great trip, but I wish ‘person x’
wasn’t there because they ruined that whole day!” You know you have those
pictures that remind you of family/friend/relational drama. I am here to tell
you that keeping those pictures up, or those little trinkets from that trip,
only reminds your subconscious mind of stress, anxiety, and drama. Which means
your home will always have a sense of overwhelm and anxiety from past trauma
attached to it.

So, lose the things that are not adding value to your future!
Stop carrying things from your past that have no place in your future.

 

LET’S TALK CLUTTER!

 

Okay so I think there may be a misconception that clutter
could be caused by trauma. But that is not always the case. Clutter happens for
many reasons. Let’s dive into a few reasons clutter is created and find out how
our home controls our stress levels.

1.      We have an addiction to “things”.

Meaning we love to buy new stuff or
maybe we binge shop to relieve stress. There are also those of us who grew up in
a family where we weren’t spoon fed! So, we may feel like we have to buy
everything now. Then there’s those individuals who just love buying the best of
everything or those who have to change their curtains or future around every
few months because they have to have control of their environment. I fall into
this category. So, I get it. There are so many scenarios I could go through,
but at some point, all of us have held on to things we really didn’t need.  Controlling your addiction to buying more
things that clutter your home can regulate your stress levels when you are
home.

2.      Overwhelmed with a busy schedule.

Okay so some of us are overworked
and underpaid and when we have a day off, we definitely don’t want to clean out
clutter. On the other hand, many of us fill our calendars up with things that
don’t add value to our life. Clutter accumulates over time when we’re not paying
attention to our actions or out environment. Ignoring or putting off chores
clutters our spaces and creates an unorganized environment. How we schedule our
life is so important to our stress levels

3.      Depression

 

Okay so I have to mention this one because
it is huge in millennials and gen Z generation. If I’m completely honest, I
don’t ever remember being depressed or having so much difficulty in my
childhood years. And let me just add that I was sexually molested as a child, and
as a teenager I was physically and sexually abused. Did I go through trauma in a
season or two? Absolutely! Did I need counseling? Yes! Did I get over it and
live my life? Well, of course that is why I am here today speaking about it
with you. But, I had some decisions to make to get out of my depression, and
this is obviously a topic for another day. However, depression is a huge cause
of clutter today. In fact, depression is one of the main culprits for clutter.
Which brings me to the next reason clutter happens…

 

 

4.      Laziness

Laziness causes clutter! I could
have added laziness to scheduling but I really wanted to differentiate between
the two. This should be common sense for most of us. Being lazy can be
temporary, just like depression or any other emotion we feel in any down season
of our life. However, if we can get ourselves to just start doing one thing, we
can usually crawl right out of that lazy spell, fairly quickly and become more
productive. The hardest part really, is starting. To stop doing one thing you
have to start doing something else. What that something else is, depends on you
and your capabilities. I think with the law of attraction and churchy people it
is easy to pray for something or “meditate” about something we desire. It’s
easy to let our imaginations run wild. But when you let your ideas go above
your capabilities you set yourself up for failure, and eventually it just
causes laziness. To think of manifesting something into reality and not knowing
how to achieve that leaves you wishing, hoping, and never achieving. The struggle
alone leaves you overwhelmed, depressed, and yes, lazy! “Believe, receive,
achieve” only happens when you’re taking actions that you forward. You can’t be
lazy and achieve goals.

 

5.      Unrealistic expectations and obligations

Creating unrealistic expectations
for ourselves creates unwanted obligations. Let me explain! When we see
beautiful things that entice our eyes it cultivates our desires, and we end up
feeling obligated to do things that hurt us later. The bible gives us an
example of this behavior in Genesis 3:6 (When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was
good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining
wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who
was with her, and he ate it…) It shows us that even in the beginning,
before technology, there were and are things in life that will be pleasing to
our eyes. But most of the time, even if it looks good, feels good, and taste
good it is only temporary. It tickles our fancy for a while but later causes a
mess and gets us off track. We can use this analogy for every area of life, but
today we are talking about the clutter in our homes. So, every time you’re
enticed by a pretty aesthetic on social media you feel obligated to click the
link and make that purchase. Only to find out later, your home never looks like
the picture presented online! Try not to have expectations that don’t come from
your own reality. Because these unrealistic expectations leads to obligations
which lead to exhaustion, overwhelm,  and
eventually laziness.

6.      People pleasing and guilty trips

Okay this must be said, because most of us live
life based on the opinions and actions of other people in our lives. Many of us
have messy and cluttered lifestyles because people guilt trip us into people
pleasing. First, you must stop taking things that you don’t like, nor need! I
know this is a common thing to do! I have fallen victim to taking gift or hand-me-downs
that I don’t need or want. Being a cleaning lady, clients often offer me stuff for
my home or for my kids, and I always felt bad saying “NO”. So, I am here to
encourage you…Don’t do that! If you don’t need it, just say “Thank you so much
for thinking of me! Currently, I am trying to declutter my home and I really
don’t have space for that”. Be thankful for their generosity but be honest.  It is also common to buy things and live a
certain way to give off this persona that we are “doing better, than we
actually are”.  This is common in Influencers
who flash their jets, cars, houses, and toys in your face, just to convince you
to buy what they’re selling. It’s a sales tactic! Everyone knows this! Don’t do
this and don’t fall prey to it! It’s fake and ingenuine. Stop people pleasing
to fit in! And stop allowing others to guilt trip you into buying more things
you don’t need to or want. This only causes you to be unhappy and have more
stress in your life.

I could talk for hours on all the reasons we find our homes cluttered
and messy, but the truth is, we all make bad decisions, and we all avoid taking
actions that benefit our lives and lifestyle. If you could do one small thing
today, to get yourself closer to a cleaner, healthier, happier home tomorrow,
what would it be? Just pick one thing to do TODAY! One room, one closet, or one
project. Don’t worry about tomorrow, or next week, and don’t worry about next
month or next year. Just focus on TODAY!

When we realize our regrets from yesterday came from not
doing something today, we prioritize our days and forget about Tomorrow.
Tomorrow is not here and all we have is today. In the book of Mathew 6:34 it says
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Isn’t that so true? Doesn’t tomorrow have enough stress? Let’s not focus on
tomorrow since it’s not even here yet. Today will one day be your past but for
now Today is all you have. So do your best to make the best of your day today!

All we can do is focus on the NOW and allow the unknown
experiences of life to stir a fire inside us. That fire and desire should get
us to move into action so we can make a difference today, learn to have a better
tomorrow, and live without regrets of yesterday! Do what you can today and reap
the rewards for your hard work tomorrow. We reap what we sow but if we don’t
sow anything, how can we reap much of anything? Similarly, what we do sow, we
get back 10 folds. So, if you’re lazy you get back, lack. If you’re depressed,
you lose hope. But if you work hard, you will see the fruits of your labor in
the masterpiece you create.

 

DECLUTTER YOUR HOME PIECE BY PIECE

I get it, decluttering and cleaning our home is exhausting! But
what if I told you that there was a way to stay organized year-round? What if I
told you that you will never have to waste time deep cleaning or organizing on
your days off? What if I told you I could show you how to bring less stress and
more Zen into your home? Would you be willing to do a few little things today for
a better, happier, healthier life tomorrow? Well, if you said yes, I have just
the thing for you. What if I told you all those things you have tried didn’t work
because they weren’t created for your particular family and home?

One thing I can tell you for certain, each family and every
home requires a different cleaning and organizing regimen. I have been cleaning
homes since 2004 professionally. During this time, I have met many different families
from all walks of life, and I’ve realized that there are no two homes alike!
Each family is different. We all have different schedules and different lifestyles.
From the way people decorate, to the number of kids/animals in the home, I
never treat my clients or their homes the same. Instead, I treat them according
to their needs and requests while also helping them maintain a routine that’s
keeps each home clean and refreshed year-round. However, I also have a
foundation of how I manage each home, which never changes. I have a cleaning
regimen which includes a cleaning schedule, a routine maintenance program, and products
that keep the home smelling and feeling rejuvenated while also eliminating dust
and clutter.

CONTROL YOUR STRESS LEVELS

If you want your stress levels to stay under control, you have to
learn to keep your home tidy, clean, organized, and smelling amazing
year-round. Without clutter from things that distract you or don’t benefit you.
HERE IS
MY CLEANING CHECKLIST WITH A PLANNER AND SCHEDULER.
If you stick to this, it will keep you on track and your home will not only stay
organized year round but you will be more focused and feel better overall with
yourself. Your home is your sanctuary and it’s a representation of your
character. So how do you want to be characterized? Are you a HOT MESS? Or are
you capable, happy, and blessed every day?

Controlling your stress levels is getting a handle of the things
that stress you out in the first place. Remember if you’re not the only one
living in the home you have to plan for everyone in the home. Be mindful of the
other people in your house that  bring
stuff in and out. They also have moods, responsibilities and also play a role
in this. From the products you use, to how you create each space, MUST work for
everyone, including your fur babies. I have done all the hard work for you and
created this plan
and a schedule so that you can keep your home maintained and organized while
keeping everyone in your home happy. Let’s face it, “happy people stress less
in a beautifully clean and put together house”.

When your home is put together, the people in it are put together!
You will even have time to write that book you’ve been thinking about all these
years. You can start that project or join that group or sports club you’ve been
wanting to get involved with. Whatever it is you haven’t had the time to
do, my checklist will surely leave breathing room for everyone in the family.
Time is precious and time is money. So, don’t waste any more of it

It is time wasted not doing the things you love.
and you’re missing out on living the life you deserve!