Tag personal growth

Finding Perfection in your Imperfections

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Photo by Maria Eduarda Loura Magalhu00e3es on Pexels.com

Are you feeling less then enough? Does your life suck and stay the same year, after year? Do you know why? Because of one simple common denominator…YOU! You don’t see your perfection in your imperfections! If you don’t get this, I promise you will be here next year looking up the same type of articles looking for solutions to all your problems. I get it, I’ve been right where you are and there are so many seasons that come back around to make me reflect and redefine myself. So, while you read on, please don’t for one second think that I am judging you or being opinionated. I am just very familiar with the cycle of playing the comparison game and zooming in on my imperfections.

We get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we never find our own perfection in our imperfections. Actually, you are perfect because of your imperfections! If you don’t listen and start DOING something different today, I guarantee next year you will be sitting in the same place trying to figure out why your life still sucks! If you are not happy with your job, your relationships, your health, your financial situation, your living arrangement, your shitty car, or anything in your life, listen up! Because today, you could change your life forever!

I know you don’t want to hear this, but the real reason your unhappy is simple…YOU! You don’t see anything good in your life, you complain about all the things you don’t have in your life, you don’t think YOU need to change or do anything, and you have literally convinced yourself that everyone else is the problem. Well, I hate to break it to ya’, but the truth is, YOU are the reason you’re not happy, and YOU and your thoughts are the reason you are so miserable! It is time to hold yourself accountable and own up to your part!

Getting in the right Mindset

You have a mindset that says “everyone else is the problem”, so you don’t even see your own flaws long enough to adjust your approach to life. You sit dwelling on all the things wrong in life and never see the good in anything. If you ever want a life that doesn’t suck, you need to do these 3 things…..

  1. You need clarity
  2. You need some new ideas
  3.  And you need to see things through an entirely different lens, starting TODAY!

When we “THINK” everyone else is the problem, or that everyone else has it better or easier than we do, we never look thought a lens that is clear. It is foggy and the reflection in the mirror is covered with ego. We don’t focus our attention on our own thoughts, our own emotions, or our own actions, and that is a real issue.

See what happens is, you focus all your energy on complaining about the people around you and yet, you don’t even realize that you are the one that is unhappy! There is something deep down under the surface that you are not facing, and other people are triggering these emotions in your subconscious mind with their words and actions. How can you sit and gossip or complain about anyone else when you can’t even sit with yourself long enough to determine the things that hurt you and why they hurt you?

Even the people who cut you off on the road, you get so upset at them, and yet, they could be rushing to the hospital because they just got a call that their kid is dying. And all they want to do is go save their kid or at least get to say goodbye. You don’t know what other people are going through and it’s not your job to worry about them. You are only responsible for your own life. You need to worry about yourself first and focus on all the good in your life. You need to dig deep into your life and figure out why you act and react the way you do on a daily basis, Until you start having some real appreciation for your own life, stop blaming other people for your problems. Because only YOU can make or break your life!

You are responsible for your life!

When you wake up in the morning, do you even smile when you realize you get another day? Do you kiss the guy or girl laying next to you? Do you go and say good morning to your kids, do you get up and make yourself and or your family a healthy breakfast? Like, where are your thoughts when you wake up first thing in the morning? And the same for your evening. What do you go to bed thinking about? What do you leave your family thinking about before they go to bed?

“Where your thoughts go your energy flows”

Your mind should be focused on you and your own life. Do those people have some hold on you that you feel the need to allow everyone else to have control over your thoughts, feelings and emotions? Do you mean to tell me that you don’t even appreciate your life enough to “Think on It”? That other people and their life is more important than you, your spouse, your kids, your job and your life? No! I don’t believe that for one minute!  

If all you can do is think about other people and how they have issues, or how they effect you, maybe it’s time to reflect on what’s going on under the surface, don’t you think? Maybe you complain because other people have what you don’t have and that is only because you are not willing to put in the work that they did. So, let me help you see through a new lens. You hate your own life but you don’t want to take the actions necessary to change it? WHY? What is under the surface that is holding you back from creating a better life yourself? Or maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit or enough thought. So, instead you waste your mind thinking about other people and their drama induced lifestyles? Yea, how’s that working for you? Again, you have to take back that energy that you give to everyone else, and give it to yourself. You are worth it!  

And here is another thing, you can’t help other people, if you can’t even help yourself! Listen, you can’t know better if you are not doing better! You don’t get to tell other people how they should live their life or complain about other people brining drama to you, if you’re allowing it! You are not doing anything different. So, when you can’t get right in your own life, you can’t give advice. If we are not being mindful of our own growth and our own mental state, we try to use any tactic to take the attention off of us. And that included, complaining about everything else around us. If you are not breathing, living, proof of the light, you can’t talk about the light! It makes you a dictator. And no one likes a dictator! You can’t lay down rules for someone else, that you don’t follow yourself. It’s just wrong on so many levels. And if you are a parent and you’re doing this, STOP IT NOW! Get right in your own life, then lead your children by “being the example”!

Look, the most inspirational individuals in life are those who express their true essence by admitting their flaws and encourage us to embrace ours. If you can’t own up to your own mistakes, you never learn from them, and you never acknowledge why you do them in the first place. And until you realize “WHY” you do these things, you can’t ever make peace with them, and you won’t ever move past them. If you ever want to experience a life of fulfillment, you need to make peace with yourself, (all your past events, mistakes and actions), accept yourself as you are now and when you fall short, and understand that “you CAN seek perfection in your imperfections”.

There is “perfection” in “im-perfection”

I became who I am TODAY, by accepting all my “imperfections” as things that make me “perfect” in who I want to be TOMORROW. So, I don’t focus on who I was or even who I currently am, but rather who I want to be. Of course, I had to reflect on my past to understand my thoughts and why I act and react the way I do. But once I broke through the surface, I was able to rise above it! Looking through a lens of weakness, gave me strength for an opportunity to make peace with my imperfections. I was able to move past my mess, and continue through life striving for a better version of myself. I am a better mother, a better daughter, and I am a better friend for it. NO I am not perfect by any means, but I strive ALWAYS for a better version of myself. I always want to be “BETTER NOT BITTER”!

Furthermore, because I am aware that my mess no longer “defines me”, I am very mindful that my mess continues to help me “find me”. If I never opened myself up to the possibilities of being an “imperfect person”, I wouldn’t know what my perfect self even looked like. There would be nothing to compare myself to accept other people. By not owning up to our mistakes in our own life, we limit ourself from learning how to become a better version of ourselves. And as a result, we stay stuck in trying to be like everyone else and never find our true essence.

Agin, I am not saying I am perfect! I am not saying to strive for perfection! Trust me, I know I am far from perfect, and we will kill ourselves striving for perfection. We all know there is no such thing as a “perfect person”. So, lose the stigma of perfection, but allow a little grace.

We must be aware that if we are working on all the things we don’t like about ourselves, we are always going to be working towards a better version of “me”! And when we strive for a better version of “me”, we don’t seek acceptance from outsiders, and we don’t need other people’s approval. We just need to be our authentic, happy, self, and as a result, we will attract the same kind of authentic happy people! Because at the end of the day, where your energy flows your energy goes! So, if your energy is happy, peaceful and loving, you will attract happy, peaceful, and loving people. If you are toxic, gossipy, and broken, you will attract toxic, gossipy, and broken people.

So how? How do we live happy about our life? How can we end the drama, stress, anxiety, worry and fear? How can we get our minds to focus on good things and stop being victims of all the messy things? How can we stop focusing our energy on outsiders and embrace our unique self?

6 tips to help you thrive and become your authentic, happy, self.

  1. Write it down. Write down everything you want, and everything you don’t want in your life. (Face the past, the mess, and crap you don’t talk about. Find out why you attracted those things in the first place and recognize them, so you don’t bring them into your future)
  2. Don’t do it alone. Find a mentorship you can trust and good people to walk with you into the next season of life. You must have people who you can go to just to vent, get advice from, and get clarity when you are clouded and can’t make rational decisions.
  3. Do things that help you get grounded. Do you enjoy gardening and nature? Being outdoors can help you stay grounded. (Beach, park, nature, earth, hiking, biking, and anything that keeps you in balance, moving, and focused)
  4. Seek your true essence. Do things that bring joy to yourself, “by yourself”. Do something you love, and something you can do alone (do something without distractions that YOU love and avoid influence from the outside world).
  5. Exercise and eat healthy foods. Your health and mental state are important. Clarity can only come when you are healthy mentally and physically. (Good food stimulates the brain function and helps maintain high energy).
  6. Build a firm foundation. Faith keeps us strong and moving forward with purpose so that we never fall too far behind when life gets difficult or messy.
Get the help you need now

These tips may seem simple and silly, but they are helpful. If you want a better life you need to know what “better” means to YOU! By writing it down you will know what you want, and what you don’t want in and out of your life. You can’t determine the things you want or don’t want if you don’t sit and visualize the reality of what it was and what it is now. Just letting your mind wonder off on its own is not healthy, and it is not giving you clear space to identify what areas of your life you need to adjust. When you write it down you are forced to focus your mind and energy on a specific area, and that is when the magic happens. “Allow vision and creativity to manifest”, and a new life and purpose is established.

“You are perfect in your imperfections,

 But you must accept your imperfections,

To see your perfections!”

Christina Ditzel

So, to conclude this article, go through the list above and write it down. You must get a visual of what you want. If you don’t want your life to suck anymore, you must turn to things that don’t suck the life out of you. Instead turn to things that give life to you! Persevere in the things that light you up inside. Think on things that make your heart smile, that get you excited for tomorrow, and that brings a joy to every part of your being. Do things that make you feel happy, fortunate and blessed. Be around people who lift your spirit and elevate your soul. Work harder for the things that you want, and spend less time on the things that are distracting you and holding you back.

May you find the peace and love that lives in your soul, because when you do, your light will shine so bright it will begin to make changes that will make this world a better place to live.

“Have a Desire for life,

So that others may see what it means to have a LIFE”

Christina Ditzel

If you need more advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Living in abundance is a choice…

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Why Accountability is NOT Equal to Intimidation!

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

“Don’t allow others to tear your soul down”

Author Christina Ditzel

Accountability is not the same as intimidation! There have been many times when I felt so “on fire” for my life and for my purpose, to only end up having someone shut me right back down to a place of fear and doubt! This is the worst feeling ever! And it feels even worse when they justify their intimidating tactics, for “holding me accountable”! Umm, Excuse me!? NO! First, holding someone accountable, is holding them responsible when they slip up, or fail to deliver on something they said they were going to do. Accountability is holding each other responsible for the actions we need to take to benefit ourselves and our life or change our messy circumstances. Accountability should always be done with love, and compassion in our heart to support, and encourage someone to get back on track. Accountability does NOT give permission to break people down! Holding someone accountable does NOT mean intimidating them by using “scare tactics”! Accountability should help keep someone on a healthy path that “they’ve chosen” for themselves. A road that will better their circumstances and keep them moving forward into purpose. Did you hear what I said? I said, “their purpose”! Not your purpose, and not the rest of worlds purpose. But their individual drive and determination that keeps them persevering!

We have no right to interrupt another person’s life, unless they are harming themselves or harming others with their actions. And even then, “accountability” must be done with a gentleness and love. Not Intimidation! If someone is moving forward into their purpose, and they seem happy, on fire for transformation, and an inspired for an ever-changing world, who are we to disrupt that because we don’t agree with their analogy? That’s not fair! We have no say on how another person thinks, breaths, or lives their life. I know this is hard, I have done this! We want the best for everyone around us and because a certain idea feels right to us, we think everyone should live that same way. Well, we can share our experiences, but we should never intimidate others to get them to see our vision. When speaking to someone we love with intimidation it just doesn’t show them possibility but instead puts fear and doubt in their heart. How is knocking my entire being down, blocking me from experiencing life, and preventing me from learning something new going to helping me feel loved? How is it helping me grow or expand? How is it holding me accountable? And how is it pushing me toward my God given purpose? It’s not! In fact, it does the opposite.

Here is the thing, if we never sat down with the Maker and discussed the details of our personal life, we can’t pretend to know what the Creator’s plans are for someone else’s life. We can however, stay true to ourselves by being mindful or our words and actions, and help others find their way in the process. But what we should not be doing is, intimidating others or allowing others to intimidate us.

We are all individual souls that must find our own way through this life. No, of course we don’t have to do it alone! Genesis says, “it is not good for man to be alone”. So, we already know we were created to be in community with other souls. But it also says to “choose those who are equally yoked”. Throughout proverbs it discusses the importance of having mindfulness and says to “stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips”. I can go all day with bible verses, but I won’t do that. It’s up to you to read those words and interpret them how your sprit guides you. You should read it sometime, it’s a great foundation and guide that you can use through every season of your life. I hold the words in this Book with very high standards for the good of all mankind. We can choose to follow good morals and live in complete abundance, or we can choose to live through the eyes of everyone else, and live in fear, doubt, guilt and shame for all eternity. It really does come down to a CHOICE! Choose abundance or choose lack!

In closing, you never have to live with others intimidations making you doubt your own intuitions. We don’t have to let someone who uses intimidation to kill our dreams. And we never have to live a life that does not feel in alignment to the desires of our heart. You are a GEM in a world full of messes, and we ALL contribute to the chaos. It doesn’t matter how we contribute, but rather how we strive to thrive in the chaos. You will only reach your full potential by embracing the true desires on your own heart. Not the desires of everyone else’s heart! You have to trust your own intuition to find your voice, and you won’t find your voice if you keep speaking someone else’s truth.

“The Devine Will Catch You when you fall

 but

You must be the one to get up”

Author Christina Ditzel

If you need further advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Taking Action! Living in abundance is a choice…

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How to Go from Pain to Purpose

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Your pain can be used for the Greater Good”

I know that sounds sooo cleche, but what if I told you I have used my pain to get closer to my purposeful & abundant life? What if I told you that you could literally change your circumstances (no matter what they are) and you can turn them into cash flow? Oh yeah! I just said cash flow! Are you with me now? Yea that’s what I thought!

The key here is that you can’t hear just “cash flow”. You should never go into something “GREAT” with “Greed” at the center of your reasoning behind your actions. So you got really interested in this article after you heard the words “cash flow” this article is for you. I want to help you lose the greed and come from a place of gratitude, love and humility. You must come at this with a MINDSET of feeling completely satisfied with your current situation and love your circumstances. That’s right, I said “Love your Circumstances”. And do you know why? Because your thoughts control your emotions, and your emotions get so over the top and out of control that it causes you to “act out” from these “feelings and reactions” that create your character. The person you are right now, today is only a result of your experiences.

You have this idea that the world your living in is all you have. This is it! Get up, go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, eat, sleep, maybe party a little on the weekends, hang with the kids, invite friends over for BBQ’s, etc. etc. And no matter how hard you try to be happy and have fun, it is always short lived. You sit in traffic and someone cuts you off and your entire day is stressful and anxiety driven. You live in stress and anxiety each day and yet you wake up each morning to do the same damn thing over and over, day, after day, after day.

This routine you have found yourself in is what you call “your life”, And the people, places and things you surround yourself with are making up this stage you now call “Your Life”. Basically, you get all your experiences, which make up your thoughts, which then turn into emotions or feelings, which becomes “Your Character” in this world you actually created yourself. If you are still here I am excited to tell you that you have the ability to change your world! All you have to do is change the experiences you’re having right now.

How to Change your Pain into Purpose

Okay, so you know that “feeling” inside that you get when you smell something or hear something and it takes you back in time? You can literally smell, taste, hear or feel something that brings back a memory. Well now think of this, if you can use your senses (hear, smell, touch or taste) to experience an emotion or feeling of the past, how amazing would it be if you could make your senses experience what will become in the future? If I can take you to a place you remember in the past, who is to say I can’t take you on a journey into your future? Uh, it’s “AHmAzIIng”!

You CAN change your pain into purpose. For example, I overcame the pain I was in by changing the way I thought about my pain. I hated that the source of my relationships with men started with wanting to “save them”. It came from an expectation I had in the relationship and I expected that person to deliver. I have this desire to help men overcome some pain, abuse or addiction they have because of a tragedy that happened in my life when I was a young child. The past dictated my future.

Well, I decided that instead of attracting what I didn’t want in my life, I would begin to think of things that I did want in my life. So, I wrote down all the quality’s I didn’t want in my next relationship and all the quality’s I DID want in my next relationship. (You can literally do this for every area of your life. Work, school, health, relationships, success, finances, etc.) I then looked at the list and asked myself a really hard question. “Would that guy I “want” in my life, like the person I am today?” Obviously, my answer was a big fat NO!! But, I accepted that the problem wasn’t in the men I chose, but the problem persisted inside of ME. I was the problem! I was not attracting the kind of relationships I wanted because I wasn’t living a life conducive of that which I desired. Basically, I wan’t playing the right character for the part I wanted.

Look your stage can be filled with the most extraordinary settings, but if you don’t have each character playing the right part, the show won’t be the same. In fact, people will be asking for their tickets back! (Giggles) Why do you think Broadway has so many interviews before they choose the person they want to play the lead role? Why do you think movies are so engaging? The “Character” makes or breaks a scene. You can desire all you want, but if your character doesn’t fit the part you want to play, your movie will suck!!!

So how do you use your pain to reach your purpose? That is for you to decide! What is your pain? How are you thinking of your pain? Are you even thinking of your pain? You have to become the character of the person you want to be. You have to make a decision and take “A NEW ACTION”. You have to do something different in order to get different results. We hear this all the time! Einstein’s quote gets thrown around like a damn football on a field, but no one is actually taking the time to think of underlining meaning of it’s purpose. In other words, if “doing the same thing over and over again is insanity” Could it be that “do something different over and over again is clarity”?

“Doing something different over and over again Producing different results is Clarity”

By Christina Ditzel

So what do you want? You’re not going to get it doing what your doing now. If you have feelings or emotions that cause stress, anger, fear, guilt, or shame you are living in “Survival mode” and you will never receive fulfillment in that place. You need to take the pain you have and think of a way you can heal it. After you heal your own pain, reach back and pull someone else who is experiencing the pain you’ve overcome. Do it from a place of love, compassion, understanding, and humility.

When you do everything from this new place of selflessness, without an understanding of what you already know, but with a willingness to learn something new, you begin to experience a different journey through life. You begin to find yourself around people who you will resonate with, places that inspire you, and things that excite you. You will have a new view of life, you will find a tribe to hold you accountable, and you will grow and learn with every new experience. You will begin to build a world that will offer healing for yourself and for those around you. And you will do it with love, and without prejudice.

The key is that you have to be willing to DO what others won’t. You have to lose the fear, doubt and voices in your head that say “your only one person”, “your not enough”, “you don’t have the resources”, “you don’t have the skills”, “you’re too old”, “you don’t have the experience” or any other thoughts that may cause you to stay in the very moment you are in right now. You have to change your belief system, and you have to trust in it. Live as a new Character in your world that seeks clarity with your own rules. Use the pain to get you there, but always be led in “LOVE”, and you WILL FIND YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE AND LIVE IN ABUNDANCE.

May our paths cross in the near future!!

Author Christina Ditzel

If you need more advice or guidance in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Living in abundance is a choice…

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Thank you in advance for all your participation, support, and encouragement.