My 8-year-old son touched my 5-year-old daughter inappropriately. How should I address this?
See this is when we have to ask ourselves “What did my kid witness or what did my kid feel that they react in this way?” In other words, was your child touched or witness someone being touched?
Can I just say, some of you so called “parents” may think you’re being sneaky hiding under the blankets, but your kids know what is going on. They are not as stupid or naive as you may think. And they hear the noises in the bedroom or bathroom and know what that is too!
We have to be very careful as parents how we act, who we hang around, what we watch, what we say, how we speak, etc. When you are a parent, you can’t just act, speak, dress, and be any way you want. You have to have some standards and morals of your own. Lead by example.
With that said, have you ever talked to your kid about his personal space (aka “private parts”). It’s called the “NO NO ZONE” Unfortunately we have to have these conversations at a younger age. I was asking questions and teaching my girls as young as 3 & 4. When you are having play time, “tickle time” for example, is a perfect opportunity to introduce your child to areas that are “NOT to be tickled!”
Why this generation struggles to teach these concepts blows my mind. Especially with the internet in our faces! If you don’t start teaching your kids young (Like 3–5) they will become adults one day with serious issues. Which is the result of the world you live in right now. In fact, it will be worse because you will have AI teaching and preaching.
These machines learn from human behavior and if humans keep acting with no mindfulness these machines will eventually be controlled by psychopaths who will manipulate the children and the adults. It’s already happening! We live in a crazy world and if you are a parent, you must uphold yourself in a manner that displays qualities of a PARENT. “A very responsible adult that a child can trust, respect, lean on, learn from, and feel loved by”.
To flourish in this life a child needs proper guidance from an adult that has some common sense and wisdom. If they think love is “daddy getting a piece of ass every night”, (hearing that kind of language and seeing that kind of disrespectful behavior) then …well, you do the math! How do you think that kid is going to view love as an adult?
Can I also add, mothers who raise boys need to really be more mindful of how they raise boys into men. What kind of man/men are you creating for this world? Do you see the world we live in today? You have an opportunity to do it differently! To do it better! You have an opportunity to change the way men look at women and treat women in the next generation! Do you have the slightest understanding of the power a parent has?
I see people offer advice to parents to have a “sit downs” with their kids. You need to do more than have one sit down with you child. When you have a child (girl or boy) you need to be present every day until the day that child becomes an adult. And sometimes even then you will have to continue to pour wisdom into your offspring. I am 46 and I still go to my father and mother for wisdom. That’s called parenting! Thats called family! If you don’t have family morals and don’t want to spend your life raising kids, don’t have kids! They didn’t ask to be here! Their long life gives them the experiences I don’t have yet, and so I can learn from them before I make bad decisions. To “learn then live” rather than “live and learn”. as most of society tells us to do.
I could really go on and on, but I’m hoping I drove my point across today in this short article. Teach your sons to be the kind of men you would want for yourself. Teach them to be the kind of father or husband you would want for your daughter. Raise him to be a man with integrity. And raise your daughters to be the mother, wife, sister, friend you wish you had. And men will be good husbands, fathers, and friends too. That is how you avoid sexual harassment or abuse in the future, and how you avoid all the traumatic issues that we face today. Mindfulness and awareness in how you raise your children today, is how you create an amazing future for your children’s children tomorrow!
I have never been a Case Worker, although I would love to be. I did, however, work for a lady (cleaning her home) who used to get temporary custody for these kids when trouble happened in their homes. I watched her give these kids medications and at a very young age (as young as 8yrs). I was disgusted. I cleaned their rooms, so I had to tread lightly when I touched their toys, books, and even how I made their bed. Many of these children have been sexually and physically abused. So, their privacy and making sure they felt safe in my presence was critical.
I remember I had to clean up covid vomit that my client left for me days after the child got sick. She didn’t even tell me they had covid and she put me and my family and my elderly clients at risk.
Now, I have LOTS of questions for these so called “professionals”, but my first question is “why are we medicating the children when the parents are the ones with the issues?” Anti-Depressants don’t help everyone! And that is a FACT! BASED ON BILLIONS OF TESTIMONIALS (including my own). Medications actually cause more issues most of the time. Do you really want to know why your child is violent?
2 reasons Your Child is Violent:
You are a horrible parent, and they need more attention, more stability, and more discipline.
And second, the medication you put your child on is making them worse and more violent.
Stop listening to everyone else tell you how to raise your child and what is best for your child. Instead listen to your own motherly instincts and be mindful of your own behavior patterns! Medicating children instead of teaching them to control their thoughts and actions is the reason America is out of control right now!
I don’t understand why we agree to this chaos and why we allow it to continue. I could never get a job in this field because well, for one, I could not and would not keep my mouth shut! But in addition, I don’t have a bachelor’s or higher in “social work”. But yet they hire people who are horrible parents themselves to go into homes and judge whether a parent is fit or unfit just because they have a degree. So now we live in a society, where a piece of paper determines our credibility and capabilities! How is that working for you all? Well, we can clearly see how that’s working just by stepping outside our doors or looking at the news and on social media. Look at our society? Look at our government. Look at the all the people killing themselves! It’s everywhere!
See, the issue with a degree and/or tests determining if a person is good enough for a job, is that anyone can cheat on a test, and anyone can lie on paper! Just go sit in a classroom full of med students for one day! They all cheat! With the exception of the one student who will do everything to be honest just to end up failing the written test. Does the physical lab help them if they pass that? NOPE! But if a student passes the written and fails the physical the instructors gives them a pass to go through! These students cheat on their written exams all day long! Again, why are we allowing this sort of dysfunction to continue?
America used to be the greatest place to live, now it is just the place most Americans want to run from. CPS is no different. Don’t trust anyone! They do not hold these case workers accountable, but they are holding kids accountable for their so called “bad behavior”. Children learn from their dysfunctional parents and peers who are drugging them up and then they are dropping them off into homes with people who are not suited to be a foster parent at all! Yea, okay!
SOMEONE PLEASE, “MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE!”
To learn more about child services and how to fight them, gohere. This author interviews caseworkers, lawyers and others who work in the system and points out the steps that need to be taken to improve how these agencies work. This author focuses on creating a “call to action” from the public to charge all levels of government to make necessary changes in these agencies. In her words: “They must protect children from abuse and neglect without persecuting innocent families”.
MY SOLUTION
Yes, this is my personal opinion based on things I have experienced in my personal life as a child and as a parent. My First suggestion is to get educated! Adults need to be held accountable for their actions but that includes all adults. Even social workers, police officers, etc. who mess up by taking kids out of a home with parents who are innocent! What happen to “innocent until proven guilty”. Or does that only apply to certain groups? Some kids need discipline. and it has gotten more difficult to discipline children with the government enabling kids to have so much control. Anyone can make a claim that a parent is unfit or not suited to raise a child and that parent will be investigated and, in the meantime, the child will be taken away and placed in a stranger’s home. Some of these kids are extremely violent and highly medicated putting the foster parent in danger. However, when you have individuals who are calling themselves “professionals” we have to look at the all the aspects of the situation. We must be mindful of ourselves and our surroundings. And who we allow into our children’s lives matters! So be a good parent by simply prioritizing your children and their mental and physical wellbeing.
If you clicked this title your probably asking, “old enough for what?” Old enough to drink? To Drive? To Vote? To become an adult? What exactly are we talking about here? At what age is Old enough to do what? Some would say it depends on the country, while others would say it depends on the state laws. But my real question is “At what age does one become wise?”
Ya’ know, someone not so long ago, told my 19-year-old daughter that she would not be an adult until she was 25 years of age! Well, I don’t agree with that, per say!
First, if a person can vote at 18 years of age, and drink at 21 I would hope adults didn’t create a law that allowed children to vote or to drink. Because what good decisions could be made if children, were getting drunk and had majority vote? (This entire statement was sort of a joke but not, obviously!) When I think of our laws here in America, I do question the many decisions these so called “adults” have made over the years. Especially concerning our laws or state regulations. The truth is, I have met many 40- and 50-year-olds who are still living with child like mentality and have not gained any wisdom over the years. In fact, my 19-year-old and 14-year-old daughters are much wiser than many people over the age of 25. Actually, I have seen many people I know personally wake up and do the same things day in and day out for the past 5, 10, or 20 years. Their life never changes and neither do their circumstances.
So, why are humans so hung up on age? Furthermore, at what age is old enough for one to realize “it is time”? Time to what? A time to do any of it! A time to vote, a time to drink, a time to drive, time to have kids, time to get married, a time to make better decisions, and how about a time to grow up!!! When is the right time for any of it? Especially when most of that stuff has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I mean why does age matter when all things come to an end anyway, right? I mean in reality, we all feel a little lonely at some point in our life, no matter what age we are. A moment of loneliness is inevitable.
The Truth Behind Loneliness
The human being must be the most complex species roaming our planet. In fact, sometimes I feel very alone, even when I am surrounded in a room full of people. Mostly when I’m around people who have closed minded ideas. In other words, no wisdom! I was raised with a Lebanese father in America, so I can tell you that feeling uncomfortable, not fitting in, and staying silent in a room full of people has become quite normal for me. But in a society where everyone is so outspoken and doesn’t really care who is in the room, it’s like we’ve lost all respect for ourselves, for others, and for boundaries. I’m used to blending in as a Lebanese female living in America. Keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut was the rule in my home growing up. I didn’t speak until spoken to and I had to always watch what I said and who I said it to! If I didn’t, there were consequences. Bottom line! Although, I know that is not the way of today’s society, I do think there are some lessons in life worth embracing.
As children we grow up with parents who have these rules, or no rules at all. And we try to fit in to our environments when we become a prime age of curiosity. We can either choose to run wild from too many rules, or we can run wild from not having any rules at all. On the other hand, we could become tamer if we have no rules, because we’ve experienced the temptations and turbulence of a life with no rules. Similarly, we can become too aware and too cautious later in life if we had too many rules. So, it just depends on our individual life experiences, the seeds that were planted into us throughout life and of course, the realties we create for ourselves.
Loneliness only comes from an emotion of not being in community with other like-minded individuals.
I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but there is a history book called the bible and it has many stories. In the very first story, called Genesis, the first time the creator says “it’s not good” is when He created man to be alone. Humans are not meant to be alone. In fact, no species of its kind in all of creation is meant to be alone. There is in fact Male and Female of every single species walking our planet today.
Age is Just a Number Your Wisdom Determines Your Growth
I don’t know what your gender is, and I don’t really care to know! Especially since we are using way too many gender pronouns today. And if I am totally honest, my dispute on that could create an entire blog or maybe even a book! Which I have no time for right now! This article today was created to help those who feel like their age has literally defined their entire existence. I don’t believe our age should determine our life or our experiences, but rather our stages of life. I believe that the wisdom we gain throughout the years has more to do with growth then our age does. And I Believe that one can experience true growth at any stage of life through knowledge and wisdom. If you’re not learning, you’re not changing, and if you’re not changing, you’re not growing! It really is that simple!
Every single human being on this planet has experienced emotions such as pain, loneliness, contentment, and excitement. We have also experienced connection, love, passion, and joy. I can even go as far as to say that we have experiences loneliness in love and pain in things we once got pleasure from. I don’t care what anyone says, there is no material thing, no person, no experience more exhilarating in life then gaining wisdom. All love stories and relationships have an ending. Whether individually or mutually decided or by death, all relationships come to an end eventually leaving you in pain or feeling lonely. That is why we need to surround ourselves in “community” not alone with one or two in solitary but full communities. Material things can break, get lost or taken away. People lose connections or die. People and things don’t last and there is always another thing or person to desire. The good emotions we carry around from people or things never last long. There are too many stages of life. And we all experience different stages at different ages!
But wisdom, that is forever! Growth never ends! There is always room for more growth in our human existence. No matter our age or our gender we can continue to learn and grow and get more knowledge. We can search for people and gain a moment of pleasure. We can search for things and gain a brief taste of excitement of something new. But when we search for Wisdom, “our cup runneth over” forever. There is no end, there is no limit, there is no age, and there is no loss when we gain wisdom.
So Why are We Misunderstood and What Age is Old Enough?
Generation after generation we have judged and been judged and misunderstood. If you’ve been feeling lost, scared, confused about life, stressed about your age, have people judging you based on your age, or just completely misunderstood by others, I would say don’t allow yourself to get too caught up with age! Age is just a number. Remember this, wisdom has no age limit, but there is joy, there is good judgment, protection, and in light of all life’s struggles, in gaining wisdom, there is understanding and an intelligence beyond human comprehension. When we gain a desire for wisdom, we gain life lived through a lens of perception. Awareness and discernment cannot be bought or purchased no matter how old you are. Behind wisdom is not an age, but rather a purpose and excitement for this beautiful thing we get to call life. There is no depression, no heartbreak, and no long-term trauma where there is wisdom! There is just an understanding of all things. Get wisdom and no matter what age you are, you will discover a life filled with so much emotion that your cup will overflow onto anyone you meet. You will be understood because you will have the knowledge to know when to speak and when not to. You will know who to connect with and what group of individuals to stay far from. You will know better in all situations because you took the time to get knowledge before the experience even happens. No matter a persons age or yours, you will be the one who will always have a knowing and understanding inside you, that is meant for only you. Being misunderstood because of age, is only from lack of knowledge to respond wisely to those around you. Because age is just the number of years you’ve journeyed here, your true view of life is in the Wisdom you gain in the journey.
If you are a single mom you might understand what I’m about to say. But I hope every parent gets this….
What kind of adults are you creating? Even though my girls are older, there are so many moments when I sit back and just observe them from a distance. I hear them laughing in the next room together or see them dancing around the house, or just cuddling in bed together. I see how kind and humble they are to their friends. Even those who hurt them. But still, they stand strong and support one another! I can not explain the joy that rushes through me to know they love one another so much and always have each other’s back.
I must say, it was not easy to get these girls to respect each other. I had to give lots of tough love! And I still do! Even though it hurts me to do it. I’d do it all over again just to witness the love they share, just once. If I’m honest, I went through so much shit with their dad, that I missed out on a lot of years. I was NOT PRESENT.! I mean, not really.
PARENTS: If you are busy “getting busy” Its time to reevaluate how you use your time. You don’t get a do-over on bonding with your children. You can’t go back and make them small children, once their adults.
I get it! It’s hard to work a full-time job and raise kids on your own with little to no help. But let’s be honest, that’s just an excuse! People make time for other people and things when it benefits them! Or it’s convenient for them. It takes a very big person, and an even bigger soul to admit when we are falling short.
When I was with their father, I could have done better! I admit that! I could have done A lot better! I was not the best parent back then, but I make it my duty to be the greatest parent today! “The truth is we are all created. So, tell me, who and what are you creating???”
I
just can’t wrap my head around the mentality of the people who call themselves parents.
I am reading articles and I see questions all over the internet from certain
groups of parents who are clueless! It’s like the kids are the adults! What is
going on??? Kids living at home at 20 years old laying in their room watching Netflix?
No job? Not going to school? So, what are they doing with themselves? Or better
yet, where are you as the “ADULT”
(head of household) in the home? Your upset with them and they are driving you
crazy! I get that. But you need to ask yourself, “what are you doing to lead
them where you want them”?
OKAY!
REWIND!!! Let me kick off a question for the parents, “Look at yourself in the
mirror and ask yourself if your child/children turned out like you, would you
be proud of them?” I can’t wait to read the comments below and see how many of
you would answer “YES!”. I feel like we have completely lost touch of all moral
values here in America. What is going on? NO DINNER TOGETHER? Excuse me!!?? You
sit on your phone, everyone in separate rooms, and you don’t spend family time
together? “Wait, what?” You go to restaurants and everyone is on the phone? Do
you even know how to have a conversation?
Oh,
and get this, some individuals want to blame their parents, but how does that
work? Your blaming your parents for your “messed up life”, and now that’s
supposed to make it okay for you to mess up your kids life? Huh? Some people
blame the color of their skin or nationality, some blame the government and all
the new laws, or the economy. It seems, there is always someone to blame for our
lack.
Oh
wait, I have one for you! How about the adults, who call themselves “parents”
who are so quick to go into a school and lash out at teachers or coaches because
their kids come home crying about how “coach made me do 15 pushups because I
was clowning around!” Excuse me?? I would have made my GIRLS do 50 more push-ups
for playing around during an activity! By the way, if I’m paying for an
activity for my children, they better NOT be clowning around!! First off, why
am paying for a sport if you’re not paying attention? Second, how disrespectful
is it when you’re talking, and someone is being disruptive? And we wonder why our
kids have no respect for authority! I think it is hilarious! No one wants to
take responsibility anymore. Seriously people?!?! Put on your “ADULT PANTS” and
start leading by example!
The
hard truth is, many demographics have completely lost touch with family morals
and that includes the parent’s “role” in the home. There’s just no structure in
the home anymore. Well, some of you will agree and some will blast me with hate
comments. And that is fine. If you are not willing to see the truth and face
the facts, you won’t make the changes necessary for change to happen. For the
rest of you, lets get on with it!!
Okay,
lets “Zen” out! If you
have read any of my other articles you know I am all
about finding the calm in the midst of the mess. If your new, here, welcome
and please leave a comment below to introduce yourself. So, we can’t Zen, if we
don’t solve the issue at its core, and we can’t solve the issue if we don’t face
the truth first. So, let’s be “adults” here
and face the truth. Then I will give you some tips on how
to adult.
BE AN ADULT AND FACE THE FACTS
First, let’s stop playing the blame game and look at ourselves for a moment. I can talk for hours on why blaming others for our actions is never a good solution. But let me just state the obvious reason you should never blame others, because “YOU are to BLAME for all YOUR PROBLEMS” Solve your issues and stop doing the same thing over and over again.
Second,
“respect” starts in the home. If it is not taught, it can’t be learned. And no,
it is not the teachers responsibility to raise your kids! They teach them
reading, writing and arithmetic. As parents we are supposed to teach them respect,
love, integrity, and real-life matters like communication and money management,
to name a few. Stop expecting everyone else to do your job. Take responsibility
TODAY.
Third,
we have to practice what we preach. So many people preach to others the things
they don’t do themselves. I know this is a hard one. I am guilty of it too. Not
saying I am perfect by any means. But, “Catch yourself than
Correct yourself”. We have to lead by example. In other words, “be the
character you want to see in those around you” and then drop the ones that just
don’t get “you”.
I
will give more detail in my upcoming video which you can find on YouTube at Zen Lenz Media.
So please subscribe and don’t forget to tap the bell to be notified when I
post. In the meantime, here are 9 tips to help you embrace your adult self.
TIPS: “How to Adult”
Take responsibility for your thoughts & actions
Don’t hang in circles that corrupt your morals
Do what you say, and say what you mean
Be the person you want others to be
Live as the example don’t just lend an example
Help don’t hurt, and build up don’t break down
Check yourself before you wreck yourself
Catch yourself than correct yourself
Get mindfulness
Meditate on your thoughts, feelings and actions
“Adulting is a blessing
It’s the time to put all your childhood dreams
Into Action”
by Christina Ditzel
Live Your Dreams……..
Thanks for taking the time to read another one of my articles. For more valuable steps and transformation in your life Please. Please comment below and share your thoughts. I love reading comments from the readers.
If you need more advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into abundant life. Living in abundance is a choice…
