Tag new beginnings

WE ALL NEED A NEW BEGINNING

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

“If you are feeling lost, confused, or burdened today, follow me and together we will create a new beginning.

We are living in a fallen world, and we are all broken people. There is no one person on this earth better than, more successful, or happier than the next. Every single one of us experience the highs and lows of life. And year after year our worries become heavier.

Hello, my name is Christina, and for years I have been on this hamster wheel, grabbing at everything and anything just to stay afloat. I have had heart ache in my relationships, finances, my health, in family matters, and even as a single parent. Life has been nothing, but time lost in survival mode.

There are so many of us raising children out of broken homes today. It breaks my heart how many children are struggling with depression because one or both parents are self-absorbed. Many of us lost ourselves in our partners, and now we are trying to redefine and find ourselves again. The love triangle is killing our relationships with each other, and with our children. And let’s not talk about the lack in “leading by example”. We can’t even coparent without showing frustration and bitterness toward our past love. The love that once was but is now lost in the dust that lingers in the air around us. The pain we can’t let go of carries into the next meaningless relationship. And the young are witnessing it all.

Teachers are influencing us with their beliefs, and media is directing us by planting seeds of fear and manipulation. The misrepresentation of deception is everywhere! No one has a mind of their own anymore and people can’t even think without Google search engine. Since Covid 19 happened in 2020 it seems life got even more complicated. Now there seems to be no way out of where we are today!

The pot heads are everywhere you can smell them driving down the road. There is no escape. People are depressed and always angry, and most of us are sleep walking through our own life. There is no doubt in my mind that we are living in the “Zombie Apocalypse” generation. Filled with “Sleepy people not even aware of their surroundings, and the things they see and believe are a fabricated illusion of all their fears”.

But, regardless of my own frustrations with people, society, and my own circumstances, I am here to discuss the matter in which every single one of us will be faced with this year. The matter of getting over ourselves and getting re-focused in 2023.

 GET REFOCUSED IN 2023

I don’t know about you, but I was on fire for life before politics, religion, and Covid took over and dragged us down this darkness we are living in today. In this new year, I feel compelled to surround myself with people who want to be lifted out of this darkness and move into the light of life.  Have we settled for a life lived as small mindedness people? I refuse to believe that! The pettiness needs to stop! It’s time to let go of childlike ways. I know the place we are all at right now seems very dark and scary. Some of us are frustrated and tired physically and emotionally. We are wiped out from trying so hard just to make ends meet. Some of us are feeling lost and confused while others feel lonely and afraid. Many want to throw in the towel and give up. As we sit and witness the suicide rate go through the roof over the past few years, we’ve done nothing to make a change. We are all tired of the division and exhausted from the fight for peace, but still we continue to point the finger.

Let’s be honest, if Martin Luther King’s Day did not wake us up to some new reality for 2023, nothing will help us overcome ourselves! Times are hard for everyone right now! But this is not a time to weep or whine! This is a time to be strong, put on our armor, and fight for the life we know we were born to live. Let’s stop fighting with one another. We are supposed to Love our neighbor and fight FOR each other not against each other. I am so tired and exhausted! The energy of this world is draining and life sucking! Every day it gets harder and harder to watch time pass, as I keep a smile on my face and stay proud and happy for my daughters’ futures. We need to see this world through a new Lens, so the generations after us have a fighting chance! But how do we do that when our entire society has hit rock bottom? Well, I’ll tell you how…

We get a handle on ourselves! We stop pointing the figure! We stop worrying about everything and everyone we can’t control, and we look at the reflection in the mirror. We stand firm and stop allowing others to control us, yes! But we open our hearts and learn to have boundaries that contain respect for ourselves and for others. Why do we always attack others when we are at a place of weary and confusion? Rebellion and radical behavior is the worst response if you want change in 2023. Instead, put on the armor of God and get yourself grounded! This is the year to become a WARRIOR, NOT A WORRIER! Stop where you are right now and sit with yourself and your mess! Why is this so hard for people to do? We are so quick to point out everyone else’s flaws, but we can’t even face ourselves in the mirror and confess our own mistakes!

You put yourself here! No one did this to you accept your-self desires and bad decision making. You know why you’re here! Stop pretending and stop blaming other people for your bad choices in life. YOU CHOSE YOUR LIFE! AND YOU CONTINUE TO CHOOSE EVERYDAY! The only way things will change, is when you decide to change your ways. What are you doing today, that will make a difference for yourself tomorrow? Stop worrying about the world, what you will look like to others, or how you will survive tomorrow.

TO THE CHURCHY PEOPLE

If you are a “churchy” person who believes in God, you have an obligation to represent Jesus with humility, not anger and fear! You know you’re NOT supposed to be of the world! Why have you consumed yourselves with human banter instead of being the light of this world? You’re supposed to just reside here as witnesses and disciples. But instead, your screaming blabber that makes no sense and you’re pushing fear into the people God called for purpose!  So why are you God fearing people complaining all the time? You are supposed to be the example of Love and Hope for the lost!

WE ALL NEED A LITTLE FAITH

Walk through this world with the armor of God, observing and listening and always encouraging others around you. Stop worrying about tomorrow because tomorrow is not here yet, and with each day comes its own worries. (Mathew 6:24) Has Covid not shown us this? A man will make many plans with divided ideas of the world, but God always directs the path. (Proverbs 6:9) We must choose the right paths for our own life even when we get off track. Stop making decisions that don’t benefit your life, your kids life, and your family life. Build healthy relationships because life can end abruptly and everything else is meaningless. So, what will you gain from worrying about things you have no control over? Take care of your own affairs the things you have control over and leave the rest to God.

Keeping faith in yourself and in God’s Plan for your own life, then pray for those around you. But be Mindful of how you pray for others. Stop playing God like you know what the intended path is for other people. Your wish for them is not their destiny. Also, if we don’t start respecting our own lives, how can we have the audacity to open our mouths and offer input to anyone about how they should or should not live their life? I am not here to shame you for the ways you’ve lived up to this point. Lord knows I am living in my own regret of things I should’ve, could’ve, but didn’t do!  I am here only to share stories that might resonate with this generation, so through my words people can be moved into action.

I’ve always felt different. Like I didn’t fit into the world I was given. But I realized later in life that is only because I am connected to a higher power who says I am more than what this world says I am. My hope is that today, you resonate with those words. Because you are so much more than what this world labels you as. Let’s start a new journey together. We can choose to leave this darkness behind us today and live together in light, or we can continue to live under the control of the flesh who ruin the opportunities of this world. It does not matter what I say in my blogs or what videos I put out, if you don’t believe you can create a better way for yourself. You will never witness the miracles right in front of you if you don’t close your eyes to the world and open your heart to all the opportunities life has given you.

You can read all the articles and books on self-growth; you can watch videos or TikTok with influencers and people trying to reach out to you with positive thinking. But if the words only sound good in the moment, it will always leave you with “good ideas” that never see the light of day. Do you want your ideas to continue to live in that darkness? If you don’t choose to be the change and be the difference you desire, then the world will suffer without your gifts, and you will stay frozen forever. Stuck in time, never moving yourself into action. You will continue down a path filled with confusion, and evil will haunt you all the days of your life.

So, my question for you today is this… “Do you really want a new beginning in 2023?” Because New beginnings come in new packages that are filled with vision, wisdom, and clarity of one’s OWN life mission.

“WISDOM IS NOTHING WITHOUT RESPECT FOR YOUR OWN LIFE”

cHRISTINA – FOLLOWER OF CHRIST

Dating After Divorce

CHRISTINA DITZEL 3 Comments

Photo by Joel Overbeck

Ugh, the dreadful, emotional, roller coaster ride that comes with dating! After spending years with someone you feel, “didn’t understand you at all”! Here you are again looking for that electricity you have been missing out on all these years. And let’s face it, the dating scene after a bad breakup is exhausting, exciting, intimidating, and quite frankly, it is freaking horrifying! Like, we do NOT want to make the same mistake again! Right? So, how can we jump back into the dating scene with full confidence we are going to find that quality person we so desperately desire? And furthermore, how do we avoid all the drama we don’t want? Well, I am about to tell you! Now, before I tell you the “how to” in finding that superior person that is going to value you and know your worth, let me help you see things through a different kind of lens first….

So, here is where I get a little honest with you, hold you accountable, and tell you things you really don’t want to hear! Are you ready? You must realize one particularly important thing before we move into the fun stuff. All those ‘unpleasant’ relationships you found yourself in, well, “YOU PICKED THEM”! Oh yea! I went there! You must realize that you had a part to play in all your messy relationships and all the mistakes that went with them. You must stop blaming the other person for all those reasons you were unhappy and face the fact that you picked her/him! Here is the thing, if you do not value yourself enough to recognize the red flags and acknowledge them before you commit, well the only person to blame for your unhappiness…. Is you! You were the one who agreed to settle in that relationship and accept all those red flags that were so obviously present beforehand. Ask yourself this question, “How much do I value my own worth and my own virtues?” Well if you answered “considerably”, well thats great. You’re a step ahead of most. Now, if you just honestly answered “I have no clue”! Well, maybe before you start dating you should work on spending some time finding value in yourself. Seriously, who will want to spend time alone with you if you don’t like spending time alone with you? Your next “person” will not value you any more than you value yourself. So, “how much do you really value yourself?”

After spending the last 5 ½ years with myself, I have learned to eliminate all of the things I just do not like about myself (i.e., all the unconstructive, destructive things I think, say, and do). And I have learned to focus more on all the things I absolutely love about myself (i.e., all the productive, kind, and beneficial things I think, say, and do). Obviously, we must avoid the former qualities that are harmful and toxic for future relationships. But how? Well, for starters, recognizing the behaviors, ahead of time, that come with those toxic people, is paramount to your success in your next relationship. With that said, I think it is crucial for every person who is getting out of a long-term relationship to spend time focused on their individual relationship goals. That’s right! “Relationship Goals”. It is common for people to adapt to lifestyles, characteristics, hobbies, and/or habits, that go against all their virtues. People adjust to lifestyles they would otherwise not live had they not met there ex. People make adjustments when their in relationships and often develop certain characteristics, or personally traits that develops over time. I sincerely believe that if you do not want negative, toxic people in your life you must eliminate them before you get into another relationship. If you want to experience a fresh start in your next relationship and you want to be healthy and happy, you cannot bring your negative toxic past with you into your future. After all, how can you really be positive when you have the damage of your past relationship still lingering in your head and heart? Lose that mentality now!!! It’s a total mindset shift! I promise if you don’t do this, you will certainly be miserable in your next relationship.

Next, you must cast away all the fears and insecurities that come with reconnecting with new people. Look I know its scary to get back out there. After so much time has past and you are so used to being comfortable with one person and one lifestyle. But you have a choice here. Remain in the old way of dating and find the same thing again (‘insanity’), or find a new way and take a chance to find someone amazing! Remain mindful during your dates. Do not make the mistake of misreading the person because of your own insecurities. Recognize the red flags! Acknowledge that you are entering a toxic situation before you invest too much time. Don’t catch feelings before you find the things that hold value to you. When you recognize the red flags ahead of time, you avoid a lot of headaches later. This is a huge piece of advice that will benefit you in every relationship! Professionally, personally, and romantically.  

When you find the courage to be mindful and recognize the signs, and you become confident in asking all the right questions, without fear of judgment, you will develop a deeper understanding of your date. You will find yourself eliminating what you don’t want and finding all the qualities you do want in a relationship. AND….This is where all the fun starts!

Okay, you do have to watch how you ask questions, and there is a system to this. I go a little more into detail on this in Chapter 6 of my book “Hot Mess to Totally Blessed” which you can get here.

Have Fun!

Look, dating is supposed to be fun! You are going to have good and bad dates. Lets be real! There are some really shady single people out there, and there are some really super amazing single people out there. If you want amazing, you have to be amazing. If you pay attention and your mindful of your own expectations, I believe you will succeed in finding a healthy, happy, amazing, and successful relationship. Dating is a time to sit with someone, get to know them, and interview them, as a way to learn as much information as you can. If you are anything like me, time is precious! So you don’t want to invest too much time talking about things that hold no value in your life or in your future. Meaningless conversations get us no where! I know you have heard this about a trillion times, but try to stay clear of those who spend too much time talking about their past relationships. It’s toxic and it is not moving either of you forward. When you are dating new people, you should both be ready to start new! That means losing all things past. Why are you looking back there anyway? Its over! Get over it and move on! I do not like wasting time and therefore I gather as much information as I can, as fast as I can. The early stages of getting to know one another should help you get a feel for their character, their values, and their intentions. What are their dating goals? What are your dating goals? Get this out there quick and be as specific as possible! if you don’t have dating goals, you better get some honey! Because your going to be headed for disaster if you don’t!

Also, make your date feel comfortable. I don’t care if its a good or bad date, both party’s must feel comfortable. Again, this is suppose to be fun. Your not making a commitment. That’s why its call “dating”! Dah! So, tell a little about yourself and ask a little about them. The flow of conversation should always be moving you both forward, wanting to learn more about each other, and most important learning something new about yourself. Obviously, there is a system to this and this doesn’t always come easy for everyone. Especially if you’re an introvert. You really have to be self-aware. You cannot just send a text when they’re sitting next to you. And you can’t write down a bunch of questions on a sheet a paper and say, “hey can you answer these questions?” Like Seriously? Let’s be real!

I know things have changed in the “millennial days”, but somethings must remain. “Connection between two people”. I mean that is the goal here right? Your date is not going to fill out a survey for you! So get over it and embrace the world of physical, mental, and emotional connections. I hate to break it to you, but if you want to meet someone real, you eventually have to let your guard down and meet them face to face! People who are genuinely looking to start a new relationship, are not wasting too much time texting. They are talking on the phone and they are having real connections.

Now go off, meet new people, get yourself out there and find your person! You have a baseline of what you want in a relationship and you have the ability to weed out all the relationships that will hold no value in your life what-so-ever! If your looking for more ways to self awareness or dating advice you can grab my book today for only $14.99 here.

For now, have fun! Be confident and date with purpose! Dating after divorce can feel daunting in the beginning, but after a little practice, you will become more and more comfortable and confident. Confident in yourself and confident in your choices of dates! Always be yourself, know what you want, and remember, its not whats at the top of the mountain its the journey that takes you there.