Why Accountability is NOT Equal to Intimidation!

June 25, 2019October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

“Don’t allow others to tear your soul down”
Author Christina Ditzel

Accountability is not the same as intimidation! There have been many times when I felt so “on fire” for my life and for my purpose, to only end up having someone shut me right back down to a place of fear and doubt! This is the worst feeling ever! And it feels even worse when they justify their intimidating tactics, for “holding me accountable”! Umm, Excuse me!? NO! First, holding someone accountable, is holding them responsible when they slip up, or fail to deliver on something they said they were going to do. Accountability is holding each other responsible for the actions we need to take to benefit ourselves and our life or change our messy circumstances. Accountability should always be done with love, and compassion in our heart to support, and encourage someone to get back on track. Accountability does NOT give permission to break people down! Holding someone accountable does NOT mean intimidating them by using “scare tactics”! Accountability should help keep someone on a healthy path that “they’ve chosen” for themselves. A road that will better their circumstances and keep them moving forward into purpose. Did you hear what I said? I said, “their purpose”! Not your purpose, and not the rest of worlds purpose. But their individual drive and determination that keeps them persevering!

We have no right to interrupt another person’s life, unless they are harming themselves or harming others with their actions. And even then, “accountability” must be done with a gentleness and love. Not Intimidation! If someone is moving forward into their purpose, and they seem happy, on fire for transformation, and an inspired for an ever-changing world, who are we to disrupt that because we don’t agree with their analogy? That’s not fair! We have no say on how another person thinks, breaths, or lives their life. I know this is hard, I have done this! We want the best for everyone around us and because a certain idea feels right to us, we think everyone should live that same way. Well, we can share our experiences, but we should never intimidate others to get them to see our vision. When speaking to someone we love with intimidation it just doesn’t show them possibility but instead puts fear and doubt in their heart. How is knocking my entire being down, blocking me from experiencing life, and preventing me from learning something new going to helping me feel loved? How is it helping me grow or expand? How is it holding me accountable? And how is it pushing me toward my God given purpose? It’s not! In fact, it does the opposite.

Here is the thing, if we never sat down with the Maker and discussed the details of our personal life, we can’t pretend to know what the Creator’s plans are for someone else’s life. We can however, stay true to ourselves by being mindful or our words and actions, and help others find their way in the process. But what we should not be doing is, intimidating others or allowing others to intimidate us.

We are all individual souls that must find our own way through this life. No, of course we don’t have to do it alone! Genesis says, “it is not good for man to be alone”. So, we already know we were created to be in community with other souls. But it also says to “choose those who are equally yoked”. Throughout proverbs it discusses the importance of having mindfulness and says to “stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips”. I can go all day with bible verses, but I won’t do that. It’s up to you to read those words and interpret them how your sprit guides you. You should read it sometime, it’s a great foundation and guide that you can use through every season of your life. I hold the words in this Book with very high standards for the good of all mankind. We can choose to follow good morals and live in complete abundance, or we can choose to live through the eyes of everyone else, and live in fear, doubt, guilt and shame for all eternity. It really does come down to a CHOICE! Choose abundance or choose lack!

In closing, you never have to live with others intimidations making you doubt your own intuitions. We don’t have to let someone who uses intimidation to kill our dreams. And we never have to live a life that does not feel in alignment to the desires of our heart. You are a GEM in a world full of messes, and we ALL contribute to the chaos. It doesn’t matter how we contribute, but rather how we strive to thrive in the chaos. You will only reach your full potential by embracing the true desires on your own heart. Not the desires of everyone else’s heart! You have to trust your own intuition to find your voice, and you won’t find your voice if you keep speaking someone else’s truth.

“The Devine Will Catch You when you fall
but
You must be the one to get up”
Author Christina Ditzel

If you need further advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Taking Action! Living in abundance is a choice…

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Thank you in advance for all your participation, support, and encouragement.

How to Go from Pain to Purpose

June 20, 2019October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Your pain can be used for the Greater Good”

I know that sounds sooo cleche, but what if I told you I have used my pain to get closer to my purposeful & abundant life? What if I told you that you could literally change your circumstances (no matter what they are) and you can turn them into cash flow? Oh yeah! I just said cash flow! Are you with me now? Yea that’s what I thought!

The key here is that you can’t hear just “cash flow”. You should never go into something “GREAT” with “Greed” at the center of your reasoning behind your actions. So you got really interested in this article after you heard the words “cash flow” this article is for you. I want to help you lose the greed and come from a place of gratitude, love and humility. You must come at this with a MINDSET of feeling completely satisfied with your current situation and love your circumstances. That’s right, I said “Love your Circumstances”. And do you know why? Because your thoughts control your emotions, and your emotions get so over the top and out of control that it causes you to “act out” from these “feelings and reactions” that create your character. The person you are right now, today is only a result of your experiences.

You have this idea that the world your living in is all you have. This is it! Get up, go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, eat, sleep, maybe party a little on the weekends, hang with the kids, invite friends over for BBQ’s, etc. etc. And no matter how hard you try to be happy and have fun, it is always short lived. You sit in traffic and someone cuts you off and your entire day is stressful and anxiety driven. You live in stress and anxiety each day and yet you wake up each morning to do the same damn thing over and over, day, after day, after day.

This routine you have found yourself in is what you call “your life”, And the people, places and things you surround yourself with are making up this stage you now call “Your Life”. Basically, you get all your experiences, which make up your thoughts, which then turn into emotions or feelings, which becomes “Your Character” in this world you actually created yourself. If you are still here I am excited to tell you that you have the ability to change your world! All you have to do is change the experiences you’re having right now.

How to Change your Pain into Purpose

Okay, so you know that “feeling” inside that you get when you smell something or hear something and it takes you back in time? You can literally smell, taste, hear or feel something that brings back a memory. Well now think of this, if you can use your senses (hear, smell, touch or taste) to experience an emotion or feeling of the past, how amazing would it be if you could make your senses experience what will become in the future? If I can take you to a place you remember in the past, who is to say I can’t take you on a journey into your future? Uh, it’s “AHmAzIIng”!

You CAN change your pain into purpose. For example, I overcame the pain I was in by changing the way I thought about my pain. I hated that the source of my relationships with men started with wanting to “save them”. It came from an expectation I had in the relationship and I expected that person to deliver. I have this desire to help men overcome some pain, abuse or addiction they have because of a tragedy that happened in my life when I was a young child. The past dictated my future.

Well, I decided that instead of attracting what I didn’t want in my life, I would begin to think of things that I did want in my life. So, I wrote down all the quality’s I didn’t want in my next relationship and all the quality’s I DID want in my next relationship. (You can literally do this for every area of your life. Work, school, health, relationships, success, finances, etc.) I then looked at the list and asked myself a really hard question. “Would that guy I “want” in my life, like the person I am today?” Obviously, my answer was a big fat NO!! But, I accepted that the problem wasn’t in the men I chose, but the problem persisted inside of ME. I was the problem! I was not attracting the kind of relationships I wanted because I wasn’t living a life conducive of that which I desired. Basically, I wan’t playing the right character for the part I wanted.

Look your stage can be filled with the most extraordinary settings, but if you don’t have each character playing the right part, the show won’t be the same. In fact, people will be asking for their tickets back! (Giggles) Why do you think Broadway has so many interviews before they choose the person they want to play the lead role? Why do you think movies are so engaging? The “Character” makes or breaks a scene. You can desire all you want, but if your character doesn’t fit the part you want to play, your movie will suck!!!

So how do you use your pain to reach your purpose? That is for you to decide! What is your pain? How are you thinking of your pain? Are you even thinking of your pain? You have to become the character of the person you want to be. You have to make a decision and take “A NEW ACTION”. You have to do something different in order to get different results. We hear this all the time! Einstein’s quote gets thrown around like a damn football on a field, but no one is actually taking the time to think of underlining meaning of it’s purpose. In other words, if “doing the same thing over and over again is insanity” Could it be that “do something different over and over again is clarity”?

“Doing something different over and over again Producing different results is Clarity”
By Christina Ditzel

So what do you want? You’re not going to get it doing what your doing now. If you have feelings or emotions that cause stress, anger, fear, guilt, or shame you are living in “Survival mode” and you will never receive fulfillment in that place. You need to take the pain you have and think of a way you can heal it. After you heal your own pain, reach back and pull someone else who is experiencing the pain you’ve overcome. Do it from a place of love, compassion, understanding, and humility.

When you do everything from this new place of selflessness, without an understanding of what you already know, but with a willingness to learn something new, you begin to experience a different journey through life. You begin to find yourself around people who you will resonate with, places that inspire you, and things that excite you. You will have a new view of life, you will find a tribe to hold you accountable, and you will grow and learn with every new experience. You will begin to build a world that will offer healing for yourself and for those around you. And you will do it with love, and without prejudice.

The key is that you have to be willing to DO what others won’t. You have to lose the fear, doubt and voices in your head that say “your only one person”, “your not enough”, “you don’t have the resources”, “you don’t have the skills”, “you’re too old”, “you don’t have the experience” or any other thoughts that may cause you to stay in the very moment you are in right now. You have to change your belief system, and you have to trust in it. Live as a new Character in your world that seeks clarity with your own rules. Use the pain to get you there, but always be led in “LOVE”, and you WILL FIND YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE AND LIVE IN ABUNDANCE.

May our paths cross in the near future!!
Author Christina Ditzel

If you need more advice or guidance in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Living in abundance is a choice…

Stay connected and follow the Author:

Thank you in advance for all your participation, support, and encouragement.

3 Stages that help you Find Success in all areas of Life

June 7, 2019October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL 2 Comments

Photo by Seven Storm JUHASZIMRUS on Pexels.com

Whether you’re looking for success in your relationships, business, parenting, health or any other area of life, the fact is, we all want success. So many people ask me “how do you do it”? How do you successfully single parent your children, run your own business, and still find time to write and do the things you enjoy? And you know what I tell them? “Less work and more self-communication”. I know what your thinking, “SELF-COMUNICATION?” Let me explain.

This journey has not been easy by any means and I still come across obstacles. But I have always been the kind of person that if I want something bad enough, I will find a way. If “life happens” in the process, well, I find it as a blessing to send me into a new direction. But the key is to always find a solution. But how? How do you find solutions when you feel like there is no options?

Okay, let’s be real, there are 5 myths of success:

Success means “comfort”. Never struggle and never unhappy. You’re always comfortable.
Success in relationships means you’re with the person who is perfect for you and you’ll never fight because you have money.
Success means having lots of money, and lots of free time which allows you to go on vacations, sit on the beach with a laptop, and tell other people what to do while you sit and relax enjoying the fruits of your “non-labor”.
Successful parenting means I will be ”Super mom/dad” and my kids will be better then everyone else’s kids because they won’t want for nothing.
Success means a healthy lifestyle and I will always look like a “supermodel”.

Well I am here to tell you that if you think success looks like that, you have a LOT to learn. But, don’t worry because I am going to give you 3 tips that will get you on the road to your success today. The people who become “BOSSES” are the one’s who are willing to “do and dare”. So if your still here, the question you have still lingers? How??? How did I become successful? Hang in thee because I am about to give you 3 tips to become successful in any areas of your life?

Some of you have heard me say, “SRA SRA SRA” and you still don’t get it! But this really is my key to success in all areas of life. When life knocks me on my ass, yes, I do get irritated, yes, I do get frustrated, and yes, I do hate hitting the floor and falling flat on my face! Who the hell doesn’t hate failing? But one thing I know for sure is that when I am beginning to feel comfortable, I know “shit is about to hit the fan! It is just the balance of life! “A Smooth Ride” is what we all want! It’s that comfort zone we all desire! But unfortunately, “comfort” doesn’t get our asses up off the coach! Does it? No! And it definitely doesn’t get us moving into the unknown or being excited about the unexpected and uncomfortable events in out life! Sometimes, we have to fall to get back up and be forced to move into a forward and up motion.

So, let’s get to it! Shall we? My method is super easy, and you can use these three stages to build success in any area of life. Wealth, health, success, relationships, with family, or even personal goals. I do this to get clarity of my circumstances and realign my thoughts and get refocused daily. So, what the hell is this “SRA SRA SRA” already? And why is this the key to success in all areas of my life? Let me explain these three easy steps to success…

S stands for STOP – it’s the stage is a reminder STOP IN YOUR TRACKS
R is for REALIGN – this stage is a reminder to REALIGN YOUR THOUGHTS
A is for ASSESS – this stage is a reminder to Assess YOUR FOCUS

Okay let’s go into a little more detail of each.

STAGE 1 is S and stands for STOP! The “S” means you have to SSshhhhh “Stop in your tracks”. Stop and quiet yourself the second you realize you’re getting upset, depressed, angry, frustrated, scared, or any other negative emotion that comes across. You need to recognize this emotion before you react! and just sit in the moment and say this a few times until you bring your heart rate and mood back down to calm level. “SRA SRA SRA” This is where you actually realize “what you’re currently doing is not working and you acknowledge you want some change in your life”.

STAGE 2 is R and stands for REALIGN! You have to realign your thoughts. Once you’ve taken in the moment and the situation and allowed yourself to soak in the situation you can now get a handle on it! You acknowledged your current situation; you are able to make space to sit with yourself and your own thoughts and begin to gain clarity. This is by far the most important step and most people won’t do this! And do you know why? Because most people never spend 5 or 10 minutes alone in their own thoughts long enough to figure out what the hell they want. But they will spend hours of wasted time browsing social media and googling how other people think and strategies! That might even be how you found me. But see, I don’t sugar coat shit on this site, and I don’t do the work for you. That would be doing you a disservice! I want you to dig real deep into your own mind and make your own choices. Because by doing this you will begin to “RE- THINK” everything in your life. If you never take the time to sit with yourself and figure out what YOU want in your life, and I mean really think how you look at success? Yes, Happy people are Healthy people! Because they have CLARITY of their self, they live with intention, they know where they’ve been, where their going and where they never want to go again! They have complete awareness of the desires of their heart and the direction of their life. Thats why they are happy. They only focus on the things that bring them joy and happiness and eliminate the things that don’t. Start to realign your thoughts and learn as much as you can in stage two. Find a way to get to know yourself, your desires and your skills or you won’t be able to move forward. WRITE IT DOWN!!! Get your thoughts aligned with a new focus and in a new direction. Then you can move to step 3!

STAGE 3 is A and stands for Assess. This is the fun part! This is the ACTION stage. This is where you have to ASSESS your focus! You sit down and get a vision of everything you learned about yourself, your situation, and figure what thoughts in step two empowered you to want change. Where do you need change? How are you going to begin making change? This is where you focus all your energy on the actions that will move you into living life more intentionally. I have an entire series on this which you can find on my podcast. Look, here is the kicker! If you don’t begin taking actions to make a plan to do something different in your life, you’re going to be here next week, next month, or next year wondering the same dam thing. How do I become more successful? Why do all my relationships suck? Why does bad shit keep happening to me? WHY? WHY? WHY???? So, begin taking steps to learn how to have new thoughts, and begin taking actions that get you moving closer to success, happiness and abundance in all areas of life.

These three steps are my key ingredient to finding success! Please leave your questions or comments I love hearing from my readers. If you need more guidance in other areas of your life, please purchase “Hot Mess To Totally Blessed” today on Amazon or go to: ZEN LENZ MEDIA to listen to my latest podcast!

For coaching, or personal advice, please contact me!

“May you find your success by looking at your life through a new Lenz”

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Author Christina Ditzel