Tag inner strength

Are You Looking to Others for Validation with No Real Results?

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

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“Life is exciting when you are on a journey that is unpredictable and untold by others” 

Validation is just affirming that your ideas and emotions matter. But matter to who?  Did you ever notice that we can find passion in something, but the second someone else disagrees or speaks negatively about it, we ignore those thoughts, ideas, and emotions.  Why do we do this?! No matter how passionate we are about something we still require validation from other people. And we give them the power to shut us down! We share our ideas with these people even when we know they will speak over us with their negative input. Words cut at our soul like a sword that kills! Because we hold no standards for ourselves!

I think this year is calling for many of us to realize that words can influence or tear us down, and the people we allow into our life determine that influence. This year is not a year to look for validation from others. It’s a time to set new goals and standards for how we want to live our own life moving forward! Shut those voices down and raise the volume on your ideas! Don’t hear what I am not saying. When I say “RAISE THE VOLUME ON THOSE IDEAS” I am not saying to raise your voice and scream your ideas to the world. On the contrary, I am telling you to raise your own voice to yourself, so you can’t hear the voices of others. In other words, raise the volume in your mind so the spirit is louder than the people.

This year is a year to prosper. We don’t have to hurt people in the process, but we don’t have to allow them to hurt us with their personal opinions either. Their life is not your life. Stop trying to be like everyone else and be yourself! How do they know what you’re capable of when you don’t even know what you’re capable of until you try. So, just TRY! Just try being yourself for one week. Don’t ask anyone for advice just sit quietly by yourself with your own thoughts. Then just sit and wait for the answers.

But then, you can’t be afraid to do “the thing”! You know that thing that you feel deep inside, just do it! The only validation you need is the one that comes deep within you. Trust in yourself, because no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how lost you feel, or confused you may seem, success is on the other side. And remember this, no matter how successful or unsuccessful you are, there will always be haters! People will always have opinions and they have a desire to be heard. But those few people who do succeed with peace and happiness, are the ones that shut out the negative voices. They don’t care about validation, because they are aware that we are all on a different journey. The only reason other people’s opinions hurt so much, is because they are not in alignment with you or your life’s purpose. They have their own purpose.

When we stop looking for validation from other people loneliness begins to kick in. I won’t lie! And that is why we panic, freak out and turn to people. We are not meant to be alone forever, but there is a time and place to be alone with yourself so the holy spirit inside you can move mountains. Don’t be afraid to begin climbing the mountain alone, you’ll find the right people in the journey, once you get on the path that is meant for you. 

People will always have something negative to say. Some things you must embrace! It’s true, we must take some advice as warnings and signs. But it is also true that we must be very careful who’s advice we take when we are on our own journey. If it is not encouraging, offering hope, and building you up with confidence, let it go!!! That is not good advice! Discernment, mindfulness, and self-awareness is so important at this time. Did you ever notice those same people who talk down to you are the same people who do a lot of talking and not a lot of doing for themselves? That is because they are NOT self-aware or mindful of their own words or actions. Their focused in on what everyone else is doing, unaware and too afraid to do anything to help themselves live happier. So, they throw smack at everyone else who is actually optimistic and exciting about trying new things.

So, yea, there will always be people who have something negative to say about the good things you are passionate about. Let them go! Most people in this world today “talk about it”, but they are too lazy to “be about it”! In fact, we should be mindful of ourselves when we speak to these folks. Truth is, they are most likely fighting their own demands and they are on their own journey. Maybe you were brought into their life to encourage them. Not the other way around.

Don’t underestimate yourself this year! Sometimes it is hard to leave behind the past of familiarity and start again with the unfamiliar. Sometimes it’s even more difficult to step into ‘OUR OWN TRUTH’ when we’ve been following everyone else’s ‘LIES’. I Know I have been struggling with this for years. That is why I write these articles. To be a witness to my readers, that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable in the unfamiliar and the unknown. What is important, is that we embrace the unexpected experiences and be excited about what will be! Life is freaking exciting when you are on a journey that is unpredictable and untold by others. When you create your life’s journey. Why would anyone want to be the person in the room that is always predictable when you can be the one in the room that is mysterious? Don’t you want to be the one person in the room that people are curious about? That seems way more exciting! Not only for you, but for those who cross paths with you!

So, this year take a stand for yourself and affirm confidence in your own skin! This year become the best version of yourself that you possibly can so that others can experience your presence. Your presence alone could light up a room and offer hope to someone who needs it. The key is this, live your life not to prove anything or to impress people. Instead, this year choose to live your life for experiences not pleasures. Hold onto faith. Believe that you were created for something big! Something important! Trust the process without the voices in your head telling you that you’re not good enough or that you can’t do it on your own! But don’t be selfish, disrespectful, arrogant, greedy, or a pushover.

WE HAVE A POWER THAT LIVES INSIDE US ALL

Remember, when you feel lonely, there is a God that will never leave you where you are, and He is more than capable of handling the miracles you need this year. You know this, you’ve seen Him move in your life before. Remember that time…?  So, this year, have a little faith my friend! He did miracles for you before and He will do it again! I know sometimes it feels like your alone in the desert, but if you can just hold on a little longer, this year I believe great things are coming! But you must do those things you feel tugging at your soul. You are CAPABLE, MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, & YES YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS WITH GOD. JUST HAVE FAITH THAT HE BELIEVES IN YOU! And then believe in yourself! Because if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you?

In my loneliness and scarcity being a single parent, I thought I needed a man in my life to survive. I not only was afraid to be alone after 14 years with someone, but I thought I would never be able to afford to support two kids on my own. All the negative voices came like a flood at my doorstep! “You lack experience who will hire you? “You won’t make it without him!” “Your credit is crap how will you find a place to live?” “Who will be with you now? Your just another girl with baggage!” On, and on, and on!!!! The voices wouldn’t stop! But there was this one quote that stuck with me in my singleness and starting over alone. It was this…

“If you’re a woman who thinks you need a man to save her, remember a man did save you on the cross 2000+ years ago”

If I’m honest, I’ve never felt stronger as a single woman or as a mother, as I do today!  

I’ve been running my own business, I’ve wrote and self-published a book, I have overcome a multitude of problems! I’ve met so many people along the way and have been blessed with the most exciting experiences. Not to mention, my daughters and I are closer than most families that live together in mansions. I may not be rich as the world defines rich, but I am blessed beyond measure! The lies people (demons) told me to scare me from myself, only held me back from living my life. Don’t get me wrong, I struggled and still struggle season after season. Life freaking happens to everyone! But I have never felt safer and more blessed in all my life as I do today.

Jesus said, “we can walk in full confidence and do all things through Him, and He will not only be with us to give us strength, but he will also open doors when we knock, and close doors that do not serve us”. I believe that with all my being because I have witnessed it time and time again. All we have to do is trust in Him and follow His lead. You know that little nudge deep down inside of you that I mentioned earlier? Well, that is God calling you to purpose. Don’t ignore it! That still small voice calling out to you is offering you a key to a door that you’ve been knocking on. All those times you cried out thinking no one heard you, well He did! That still small voice and that nudge deep down inside you are the key to your answers! Just take the key, open the door, walk through it with faith, and then believe that God will take care of everything else. Do the things you can do and leave the rest to God. He has you, trust me! 

If you listen to His Words, they will give you strength and wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong, good, and evil. And His Words have the courage to break the ties that hold you back from living a fulfilled life of purpose. So LIVE!

HOW-TO LIVE-IN PURPOSE WITHOUT VALIDATION FROM SOCIETY

There is a lot of noise in society today. I know the struggle of stepping into faith when we don’t even know what that looks like. It’s not like we get to take a peek behind the curtain of truth! Our lens is so clouded with so much information we can’t even see the truth beyond all the lies. There is a lot going on in this world. The world continues to create more roads and it’s very difficult to determine which path is the right one for our personal journey. I get it! But we must start with awareness. Awareness for ourselves and awareness for our surroundings. What we allow in and out of our life, determines the paths we take. I started my true journey when I stopped watching and listening to all the fake influencers who buy likes and followers. Yes, most influencers are scammers! I don’t listen to the politicians who have ulterior motives. And I see passed the scams on social media that are planting seeds of fear. I know who they are! You know who they are! They show up in your feed every day! They are everywhere! In ads, sponsorships, tick Tok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook! You can’t escape them! They are a complete distraction from your purpose driven life! We internally see through their scams but for some reason we keep allowing them to push their ideas and beliefs on us. And we continue to be distracted by them

It is becoming normal to live in fear of everything, and angry at everyone. And because they distracted us from Gods truth and Gods good and faithful Will for our life, we end up divided, blinded with lies, and chasing all the wrong things in this world. Living defensive, defenseless, and angry because we choose to follow the wrong paths. You have a choice! You can choose the righteous path, and shine your light into the world, or you can choose to chase validation and validate others who will never see you, your gifts, or your talents worthy. You can choose to see all the evil of this world and live there, or you can choose the door with light and resolution. Do you really want to die leaving the world dark and evil? Or would you like to leave this world knowing you left some light behind for those stuck in darkness?

You don’t need validation from other people. Those people are not going where you’re meant to go! You keep following them and that is why you’re not moving forward. If you take anything from this article, take this,

“There will always be a process when you’re choosing a path for your own journey.

What no one tells you about is that it will always involve a struggle and a lesson before you receive the blessing”.

If you’re not present and aware of yourself, you may miss the whole point of your journey. 

christina ditzel

So, don’t seek validation this year. You don’t need validation from people who won’t go through the struggle with you! The lessons learned on YOUR journey will lead you to blessings that are NOT meant for them but for YOU ONLY. The only way to move forward this year is to get wisdom for yourself. The way to wisdom is through humility, and the only way to have humility is to be teachable through self-perception. This will require obedience, self-discipline and self-control. (This is the storm, and it is all you have to understand).

“Do Not Forsake Wisdom, and she will protect you; Love her and she will watch over you.

The beginning of wisdom is this: ‘Get wisdom’. Though it cost all you have, get understanding”

Proverbs 4:6-7

                                                                                                                                        

LIFE IS FILLED WITH STRENGTH & WISDOM

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

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LIFE REPRESENTS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU CHASE WISDOM

For centuries religion and politics has kept us divided and at war with one another. So why than, do we continue to follow the fools who lead us to destruction year after year, and century after century? When will mankind seek wisdom for themselves so we can all live together in peace? Life! It is so difficult and real challenging moments. And yes, life also has many twists, turns, and mountains to climb, but it doesn’t have to be so complicated. There will always be another fire to put out, another illness to overcome, another loss of a loved one, and another storm to clean up after, but we don’t have to burden our hearts with the heavy burnden of things we can’t explain or change.

Life is complicated because people complicate it. We complicate our own life, and we complicate each other! Every time we lack wisdom and understanding, we do things that complicate our own life and the people in it with our judgment and opinions.  Why are humans so desperate for attention? Why do we speak words that we hear from other people and sometimes don’t even believe ourselves? We speak about things we know nothing about, and we want everything, and we want it right now! We have no patience, and we don’t take time to observe and learn in each season of life.

Let me start by saying this, all that chasing your doing, is meaningless!  Chasing “Money, fame, and power will NEVER buy you happiness, love, or intelligence!” You may experience these things temporarily but nothing in this world brings permanent joy. But for the sake of this blog let’s say it did! What then? If you had all the money, all the fame, and all the power in the world and you were happy, in love and you had achieved all the knowledge you could ever gain in the world, what would be left for your life tomorrow?

And who is to say what makes you happy and content today, is going to be enough to keep the person you fell in love with, happy tomorrow? Or furthermore, who’s to say the people who follow you (making you famous and rich) are going to agree with you in the next season of their life? They may end up committing suicide because the things you say or do are not in alignment with how they feel or believe internally. As a result, you end up making them feel unhappy, unloved, and lacking wisdom. What then? How can we have personal gain that doesn’t align with the ones we love? Truth is, when you lose one thing it leaves you wanting something more! What is it you are really chasing in this world? And when will enough be enough?

ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH

It seems like people are never satisfied. Life has gotten so complicated, and people are living foolishly. They have no sense of time, no self-control, and they lack eagerness for wisdom! Oh, for those that think their smart, umm, I say this as gently as possible, “smart is not equal to wise my friend”! To live and walk-through life with a “just passing through” attitude, you lose time and miss so many important things that are right there for you to see, feel, touch, learn, and experience. When we go through life with no regard for the way we are living it, (with our words, our actions, how we treat others, our expectations, our choices, etc.) it’s such a sadness. We wreck ourselves and don’t even realize it as we run full force into danger zones, year after year.

What if, you could see life through a lens of “enough”! Enough will only be enough when you chase something that has true meaning to you. And nothing in life has any meaning if the world around you can change the perspective on it. Life only has meaning when it comes with wisdom. But how do we find meaning in life and get wisdom? It didn’t take me very long to realize wisdom was just truth in “Gods Words to me”. In All my mess, behind all my tears, and at the edge of a breakdown, screaming and yelling at God, (who was always with me through all my crap), I had to trust “I was never alone” and then I had to trust in His timing. I had to realize that in my time of waiting for him, I had to sit and be silent. That doesn’t mean I am not doing anything. I am always observing and learning while I wait.

When I decided to just sit quiet and get alone with myself, my own thoughts, my own anger, and all my pain and confusion; I found strength in His Words and in the promises, I heard in those words. In truth, I realized there is goodness in every light and every dark road I have traveled down. Every mountain I had to climb, every fire I had to put out, and every loss in life, there was Wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to understand life through Gods perspective. The reason I trust the Bible is because it is filled with different authors who encourage us throughout our walk-in life. Solomon is one who inspires us to get wisdom!

Those who get wisdom love life; It’s better to get wisdom than gold.

Those who get wisdom find life and receive favor from God…”

Proverbs

Those are just a few versus. But he encourages us to chase knowledge and not this life. If we chase life, we will always be fighting our own battles without understanding. Which leads us to make decisions based on our own understanding and we continue making the same bad choices year after year. If we keep our mind open and listen to the words, we become disciplined and discover an understanding in every season. To become wide means you don’t hate discipline and hold yourself accountable to do the things that are difficult. This my friend is priceless and leads you to freedom!

If we go through life never having enough, let us chase Wisdom! We can never have enough wisdom and you are never too smart, or too old to get more understanding. Wisdom means we gain something at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end of every season of life. And if your wise enough to clear off your lens, you will discover wisdom every second of every hour, and every day of your life. Life won’t just be filled with seasons of tragedy; it will be filled with experiences that bring insight! You will always take something with you and that something can never be lost, stolen, or taken away. Because it comes in a package that is irreplaceable. Inside your mind, body, and soul.

Whatever people, power, and material things bring you pleasure in this moment, I promise that pleasure won’t last long. So, get wisdom and you will live a long, happy journey you can be excited to explore. Don’t waste time chasing fools in this life who don’t know you or what you’re capable of! Understanding is for the Wise, not the simple minded! Don’t follow people who limit their own worth by chasing a life today, which holds no value tomorrow.

HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND RESILIENCE

What is your perspective, and do you have the resilience to handle adversity in the next year? Did you know your soul gets weaker every time you look through someone else’s lens? Especially if it’s foggy, uncomfortable, and doesn’t speak to you! Your stability is in your perspective, sometimes you just have-to trust in your own discernment and believe that everything in life is moving you forward. When we get lazy because we don’t see instant results, we’ve failed before, or our perspective gets tainted by unexpected tragedy’s, we live curiously and foolishly through the lens of others. We lose so much time and knowledge when we depend on other people’s perspective instead of God’s Word. Some of you may believe this, others may not, but my belief is that God created us each unique with a different perspective, and He did that on purpose! When you embrace the thing that makes you different, you will realize life is ! There is so much wisdom behind your perspective! You just need to shut off all the noise!

Weakness comes when we fail too many times, and we no longer trust in our own skills and talents. I get it, we need immediate results in all we do, or we think we are unworthy. Some of us on spiritual journeys think we are not loved by God because of our mistakes. Others believe He is just not listening. Some of us may not even believe in a higher power, at all! While others believe in many Gods. Sometimes, we do things in life based on our own understand, which comes from other people and their opinions about us. Sometimes we deceive ourselves by adopting other people’s beliefs which inevitably make our situations worse. But what if we decided to chase wisdom above all things in this world? What if we started listening, and keeping track of the disciplines that life offers to give us wisdom?

What if life is happening exactly the way it was supposed to, because you still need wisdom to handle the things that are waiting for you on the other side? How many times have you said, “Thank God I went with my gut and didn’t go there? How many times did you take someone’s advice and realize it was a bad idea? But still, we try to do things without thinking or listening to the influences and voices around us. We push time and rush things because we are so impatient! When we sit still and quiet the noise, life will give us wisdom. By teaching us something new in every minute of every moment, we discover happiness in all of it. But if we don’t take the time to get Wisdom, we never increase our resilience in this world. So, hold on a little longer and chase wisdom in this moment!

HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER

What if you held on a little longer? What if the difference between your happiness and failures is somewhere in between your perspective and your ability to sit still this season?  How many times have you overcome what others thought you couldn’t? How many times have you surprised yourself? How many times were you happy you embraced your intuition and made a new discovery in the unknown? If you know that you have experienced a time in life where you had a breakthrough before, who is has any say in what you are or are not capable of in this next season? You don’t know what you’re capable of, so don’t let others assume they know what you’re capable of! Don’t make decisions this year based on the seeds other people planted in you. If in doubt, I promise all your answers are somewhere in-between Wisdom and your uniqueness. What if this season you didn’t give up and instead, decided to get quiet and chase wisdom?

Okay, what I am about to say to you may be even more difficult to understand but stick with me for a moment! Try to hear my words! I promise at some point in my life, I have been where you are! Searching for answers, seeking for something more, and stumbling through life season after season. What if this season you did something different? What if you sat quiet with yourself and did something unordinary? What I am about to tell you is something that I have done before, then turned away from, and then came back to. And I can tell you this “my life has gotten easier when I came back”! I can’t tell you if this is going to feel natural for you, or how this will change your life, because I don’t know you personally. But what I can promise you is this, “you will discover a wisdom like no other person around you, and your life will change drastically and miraculously”!

Take a moment, any moment, in the morning or in the evening, when you can hide away in a room by yourself. Take that moment to look through some of the words in the Book of Proverbs. I know! I know! Churchy religious people preaching about their God! First, I am not churchy or religious and second, I have attempted life so many different ways and I can tell you that every area of my life has never been clearer then when I turn to the WORD! Look for Wisdom! Seek for Wisdom! Crave Wisdom! I promise there is a God who created you and He hears all your thoughts, emotions, and concerns about your life. He won’t just hear your thoughts and concerns; He will show you the answers to all of your questions! They are right there in the words of the many authors who contributed to the Bible.

 I get it! So many churchy people think God speaks audibly and they mystify everything! It’s kind of annoying! But I am not here to dictate what you should and should not believe, I am here as a friend and a witness, that the bible is not a mistake. It is full of men and women like us who stumbled through life with struggles, illnesses, pain, loss, and trauma. It’s fill with wisdom and information from people who walked side by side with a man who had enough faith to give up all the pleasures in his own life, to just be present with people who were different then him. He walked his life being a living example for us so that we could have a Heaven like experience here on earth. This man never took advice from people, but rather gave Knowledge to the people! I have experienced a different kind of God then most.

I believe we were all created differently on purpose! I also believe we were created to interpret things differently, but not dispute our differences! We were created to seek wisdom in our journey and get understanding for the things we can’t comprehend. To get Wisdom and understanding, we must allow “God”. Who always moves in silence and teaches me to do the same.

So, before you allow another distraction in your life, Hold on a little longer. Give yourself time to build strength, wisdom, and knowledge this season. Move silently forward so in the next season of your life, the burdens will be light. If we want to experience a life filled with blessings and happiness, our perspective on life must be transformed. We need resilience to hold on in the unknown moments of life that offer blessings. When things get confusing, sit silently in the Word and you will see all the blessings in the wilderness. You will discover wisdom in all your experiences.

CONCLUSION

Sitting still sometimes means doing what you know brings joy to your heart but could also add value to others. What do you love doing that could result in helping someone else? Sometimes it means you need to let go and let God! There are just some things we can’t control. Do the things you can and stop doing things that distract you and burden you. To break chains means, we must stop forcing ourselves to hustle, grind, work, and chase things that hold no real meaning tomorrow. Stop keeping busy on things that offer no value to your soul. And whatever you do, even if you have to do something you don’t really like, do it as if you’re doing it for The Lord. You will find the joy in it and your burden will become lighter! Your survival and life depend on how well you handle adversity. Your life is filled with experiences that offer you an opportunity to gain strength and wisdom!