AS WE REACH THE CROSROADS OF LIFE, WE CAN REST IN KNOWING WE ARE NEVER ALONE!
(NOTE: This material is different than most of my writing. I hope you can appreciate my humility and transparency in the following material)
WORDS FROM MY JOURNAL 10/14/2022
“I am feeling confused and lost today. I am trying to get vision for Gods purpose in my life, but I have found myself at a crossroads. Do I continue to write? Do I focus on my cleaning business? Or do I create videos and speak about all the good thing/miracles He has done for me? I know in my heart I’m supposed to follow Him, share my testimony’s, share His words, then put on my armor and have faith. But still, I am so uncertain in this season of my life! Which messages are the thoughts in my own head, and which messages are the discernment from the Holy Spirit? What is the message God is trying to send me? Is it God or am I clinging on to my own understanding of the way things work this world?
IN TIMES OF CONFUSION BE STILL
When my discernment is tainted by society, I get confused and unsure of myself and my goals. When y discernment and my decisions have been tainted by the media and it becomes difficult to see my life through a clear lens. My mind is all over the place. Do I continue to write? I do love it and get lost in it. Do I focus on my cleaning business? I have grown tired and hate the work because of its inconstancy to produce the life I desire. And I really think I would have to change the name, because the name I have does not do a good job at describing my business. Which means I would then have to apply for a new fictitious name, new license, business cards, and change my domain name. Not to mention I would need to rebuild my entire website with the new business name/domain. UGH! The reality that hits when you don’t have vision or make decisions in a time of confusion! That seems like too much work! Is it worth it? Maybe I should just create videos and podcasts! I could speak about all the good things/miracles He has done for me. All the transformations I have made in my life and help someone else avoid those mistakes I’ve made. This makes me feel good but is also inconsistent, takes time to produce, and won’t offer any financial stability right away.
All the questions we have when we reach a crossroads. One thing I have learned from this situation I have found myself in today, is that I will not make any large choices or purchases without vision. This is a time to sit still, pray, get into the WORD, and not make any big decisions. Have you been here? Have you been so confused about a certain area of your life that you just wish someone would come and tell you exactly what to do and when to do it? Ugh! Life since Covid has just been completely insane for so many of us. Sometimes, I just wish I could go back to 2018/2019 when my life felt normal and was fill with laughter, joy, financial stability, good health, community, and a feeling of complete gratification. Today I have found myself at a crossroads, because I do not feel the same sense of emotion that I had in that year. And I know we all have these great seasons where we are on fire for life, and then something, or someone, comes along and distracts us and knocks us off course. Well, if you are in a season like this, walk with me. I know it feels like life has just brought you so much heart ache, but I promise, there is a season coming with unexpected blessings and unexpected acceleration. Right now, is not a time to make harsh decisions. Let’s just sit back, be still, get into the word, pray, and pay close attention to the words we hear. This is a season of learning something so we can be prepared for what is to come.
HEARING GOD SPEAK
Can I start by saying, STOP MAKING THIS MYSTICAL! And stop trying to turn off all the signs that lead you to the bible. The Bible has lots of WORDS and multiple books and amazing stories! But recently one thing has become very clear to me and that is, when Jesus said, “Those who have ears let them hear”. (Mathew 13:9) The authors of the bible never said, “Read the word” it says “HEAR THE WORD”. When we read the word alone without distraction in a room by ourselves, we can read the words out loud. Or we can whisper it to ourselves. But let your ears hear so that you can get the instructions that are there for your ears, and your ears only.
When we are paying attention and when our ears ‘hear the words’, the message becomes very clear. And our vision becomes clear too. When God feels we are ready, He will not hesitate to come in the middle of the night and wake us up with plans. Plans to prosper us and not harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11) But if you could just get the strength to listen and do the work, He has prepared for you, I promise you feel purpose begin to drive you. You’ll be tired, and you will want to lay there and just meditate on all the thoughts in your head. But don’t toss and turn and lose the moment! These come as ideas that you received from reading the Word and being aware of your own gifts and talents. If you want it bad enough, and have good intentions, God will show you favor in countless ways and doors will begin to open. You won’t even have to touch the doorknob; He will do all the heavy lifting for you. These come as miracles. The things you can’t explain. You know you have had seasons where you didn’t think you would make it through a storm, but something happened a miracle….
Hearing God means reading the word and listening to what it says to you. Just like a song can touch you in one way and connect with someone else in another way, Gods Words do the same. Heed discipline! (Read proverbs and HEAR what the words speak to you).
YOU CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT JESUS
Look I have done life so many different ways and I can tell you that listening to Jesus is the only way to walk through this life with any kind of peace. Following his example is the only way we are going to find our own way. And the reason is this…
Your human nature has you ignorant, naive, selfish, blind, and you don’t even know what you want, never mind what you need! You go through the motions of life on repeat! Year after year your relationships look the same, your work is just a job you don’t have passion for anymore, you could probably work harder on your health, and you do nothing different to better any of your life circumstances. You have been doing life your way or following the lead of everyone else and yet you don’t want to even try to follow Jesus? Let me just say that Jesus is not religious, or a cult. Following him does not mean you have to judge or gossip although many churchy people might have given you that impression of him. And I am sorry. If I am honest, I was one of those churchy people before, and I have also been affected by those churchy people before. Today I have a changed perspective and know Jesus as a friend, a teacher, a creator, a soulmate, and guiding light. He is someone who made sacrifices for me so that I could live my best life with amazing experiences. I realized in all my doing and living, that life was full of trauma when I tried to take the lead. I’ve realized that I can’t do anything in this world without Jesus taking the lead. And honestly, I don’t want to.
Imagin, there was a new ride at Disney, where you could take a ride on an Avitar dragon that would fly you anywhere in the park you wanted to go. Would you rather be the first person to go for a ride and test drive it? Or would you want someone else to go first and make sure it doesn’t have any malfunctions? I hope you said you would rather have someone go first! Well, that is what follow Jesus is like. He goes first! But he won’t just stop there! He will also stay with you on the journey, if you allow Him. When you let Jesus in, He will make all your crooked paths Straight. (Isaiah 45:2-4) You can try to do everything in your own strength and in your own understanding, but I am certain you will find yourself at a crossroads again very soon! But if you find yourself at a crossroads and you make the decision to follow Jesus by hearing His Words, your “crossroads’ will become straight and stay straight season after season.
LET HIS LIGHT SHINE AND HE WILL MAKE A WAY
In a season with crossroads, feeling alone only gets us more stressed out, making irrational decisions. Our choices make every season of life worse off than the last. Doing life, the way you want, will only leave you spiraling out of control again and again, year after year! I have tried to do life following the rules of everyone else and ended up pissed off and angry because I didn’t prosper in a season that showed great potential. I have tried to do life my way without any help at all. That just led to feeling overworked, alone, disappointed, stressed, and exhausted. I have also tried to follow the lead of media influencers and people who I thought were smarter and wiser than me. Come to find out, all the hustling and grinding only caused me more debt and put me in the hospital with health issues. You can listen to all the people in the world, but no one will shine a light on your life and make a way quite like Jesus does.
I don’t care what your beliefs are, and I don’t care if you trash this blog. I don’t even care if you unfollow or defriend me! I am sharing the good news and hoping my readers find clarity in their crossroads today! Im just a messenger here to give you good news. “You are not alone!” There is a helper at your crossroads, and His name is Jesus. He chose to sacrifice himself on a cross to make a scene in a time when rulers wanted the people to live in fear. Today, the rulers do the same. The rulers want people to stay sick, starving for food, desperate for money, and craving material things. But Jesus came to say that those things have no real meaning in your life. He came so that you would hear His words two thousand years later and make a decision to follow Him so that you can have life and live it fully. “Where your treasure is there, your heart will be” (Mathew 6:21). Open your eyes and ears to His Words and learn to discern your own life. I know the struggle is real. I know it sucks right now. I’m right there with you. But He is with us too! All we have to do is be still and Let His light shine and make a way.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet water and he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me, your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
Psalms 23
You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I hope you enjoyed this post. It is difficult to open up with strangers. It is even harder to decide between what the readers want and what I feel called to do. I am feeling a huge shift in my life coming, and for years, I have felt called to ministry. I just never thought I had the gifts required. Until I discovered and embraced the skills I do have. I invite you to come away with me on a new journey this year. I believe this is going to be a season of unusual acceleration for me and those of you who follow me. As I continue to follow Jesus and allow myself to be guided by his Words, I will share the lessons that encourage me. My hope is that you will join me in conversations of encouragement and accountability. As we reach the many crossroads of life, we can rest in peace knowing we are not alone!
Remember, He has died on the cross, and He has risen so that you may have a life full of opportunities. Don’t waste another day. Rise up in faith and trust.
