Tag faith

CHASING WISDOM

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

LIFE REPRESENTS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU CHASE WISDOM

For centuries religion and politics has kept us divided and at war with one another. So why than, do we continue to follow the fools who lead us to destruction year after year, and century after century? When will mankind seek wisdom for themselves so we can all live together in peace? Life! It is so difficult and has some real challenging moments. And yes, life also has many mountains to climb, but it doesn’t have to be so complicated. There will always be another fire to put out, another illness to overcome, another loss of a loved one, and another storm to clean up after, but we don’t have to burden our hearts with the heavy burden of things we can’t explain or change.

Life is complicated because people complicate it. We complicate our own life, and we complicate each other! Every time we lack wisdom and understanding, we do things that complicate our own life and the people in it. We have so much judgment and way too many opinions. Why are humans so desperate for attention and so rude when life doesn’t meet their expectations? We speak about things we know nothing about, and we have high expectations with little or no sense of purpose. When did we become so impatient? We need to take time to observe and learn in each season of life.

Let me start by saying this, all that chasing your doing, is meaningless!  Chasing “Money, fame, and power will NEVER buy you happiness, love, or intelligence!” You may experience these things temporarily but nothing in this world brings permanent joy. But for the sake of this blog let’s say it did! What then? If you had all the money, all the fame, and all the power in the world and you were happy, in love and you had achieved all the knowledge you could ever gain in the world, what would be left for your life tomorrow?

And who is to say what makes you happy and content today, is going to be enough to keep the person you fell in love with, happy tomorrow? Or furthermore, who’s to say the people who follow you (making you famous and rich) are going to agree with you in the next season of their life? They may end up committing suicide because the things you say or do are not in alignment with how they feel or believe internally. As a result, you end up making them feel unhappy, unloved, and lacking wisdom. What then? How can we have personal gain that doesn’t align with the ones we love? Truth is, when you lose one thing it leaves you wanting something more! What is it you are really chasing in this world? And when will enough be enough?

ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH

It seems like people are never satisfied. Life has gotten so complicated, and people are living foolishly. They have no sense of time, no self-control, and they lack eagerness for wisdom! Oh, for those that think their smart, umm, I say this as gently as possible, “smart is not equal to wise my friend”! To live and walk-through life with a “just passing through” attitude, you lose time and miss so many important things that are right there for you to see, feel, touch, learn, and experience. When we go through life with no regard for the way we are living it, (with our words, our actions, how we treat others, our expectations, our choices, etc.) it’s such a sadness. We wreck ourselves and don’t even realize it as we run full force into danger zones, year after year.

What if, you could see life through a lens of “enough”! Enough will only be enough when you chase something that has true meaning to you. And nothing in life has any meaning if the world around you can change the perspective on it. Life only has meaning when it comes with wisdom. But how do we find meaning in life and get wisdom? It didn’t take me very long to realize wisdom was just truth in “Gods Words to me”. In All my mess, behind all my tears, and at the edge of a breakdown, screaming and yelling at God, (who was always with me through all my crap), I had to trust “I was never alone” and then I had to trust in His timing. I had to realize that in my time of waiting for him, I had to sit and be silent. That doesn’t mean I am not doing anything. I am always observing and learning while I wait.

When I decided to just sit quiet and get alone with myself, my own thoughts, my own anger, and all my pain and confusion; I found strength in His Words and in the promises, I heard in those words. In truth, I realized there is goodness in every light and every dark road I have traveled down. Every mountain I had to climb, every fire I had to put out, and every loss in life, there was Wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to understand life through Gods perspective. The reason I trust the Bible is because it is filled with different authors who encourage us throughout our walk-in life. Solomon is one who inspires us to get wisdom!

Those who get wisdom love life; It’s better to get wisdom than gold. Those who get wisdom find life and receive favor from God…”

Those are just a few versus. But he encourages us to chase knowledge and not this life. If we chase life, we will always be fighting our own battles without understanding. Which leads us to make decisions based on our own understanding and we continue making the same bad choices year after year. If we keep our mind open and listen to the words, we become disciplined and discover an understanding in every season. To become wide means you don’t hate discipline and hold yourself accountable to do the things that are difficult. This my friend is priceless and leads you to freedom!

If we go through life never having enough, let us chase Wisdom! We can never have enough wisdom and you are never too smart, or too old to get more understanding. Wisdom means we gain something at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end of every season of life. And if your wise enough to clear off your lens, you will discover wisdom every second of every hour, and every day of your life. Life won’t just be filled with seasons of tragedy; it will be filled with experiences that bring insight! You will always take something with you and that something can never be lost, stolen, or taken away. Because it comes in a package that is irreplaceable. Inside your mind, body, and soul.

Whatever people, power, and material things bring you pleasure in this moment, I promise that pleasure won’t last long. So, get wisdom and you will live a long, happy journey you can be excited to explore. Don’t waste time chasing fools in this life who don’t know you or what you’re capable of! Understanding is for the Wise, not the simple minded! Don’t follow people who limit their own worth by chasing a life today, which holds no value tomorrow.

HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND RESILIENCE

What is your perspective, and do you have the resilience to handle adversity in the next year? Did you know your soul gets weaker every time you look through someone else’s lens? Especially if it’s foggy, uncomfortable, and doesn’t speak to you! Your stability is in your perspective, sometimes you just have-to trust in your own discernment and believe that everything in life is moving you forward. When we get lazy because we don’t see instant results, we’ve failed before, or our perspective gets tainted by unexpected tragedy’s, we live curiously and foolishly through the lens of others. We lose so much time and knowledge when we depend on other people’s perspective instead of Gods Word. Some of you may believe this, others may not, but my belief is that God created us each unique with a different perspective, and He did that on purpose!

When you embrace the thing that makes you different, you will discover wisdom behind your own perspective! You just need to shut off all the noise!

Weakness comes when we’ve failed too many times, and we no longer trust in our own skills and talents. I get it, we need immediate results in all we do, or we think we are unworthy. Some of us on spiritual journeys think we are not loved by God because of our mistakes. Others believe He is just not listening. Some of us may not even believe in a higher power, at all! While others believe in many Gods. Sometimes, we do things in life based on our own understand, which comes from other people and their opinions about us. Sometimes we deceive ourselves by adopting other people’s beliefs which inevitably make our situations worse. But what if we decided to chase wisdom above all things in this world? What if we started listening, and keeping track of the disciplines that life offers to give us wisdom?

What if life is happening exactly the way it was supposed to, because you still need wisdom to handle the things that are waiting for you on the other side? How many times have you said, “Thank God I went with my gut and didn’t go there? How many times did you take someone’s advice and realize it was a bad idea? But still, we try to do things without thinking or listening to the influences and voices around us. We push time and rush things because we are so impatient! When we sit still and quiet the noise, life will give us wisdom. By teaching us something new in every minute of every moment, we discover happiness in all of it. But if we don’t take the time to get Wisdom, we never increase our resilience in this world. So, hold on a little longer and chase wisdom in this moment!

HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER

What if you held on a little longer? What if the difference between your happiness and failures is somewhere in between your perspective and your ability to sit still this season?  How many times have you overcome what others thought you couldn’t? How many times have you surprised yourself? How many times were you happy you embraced your intuition and made a new discovery in the unknown? If you know that you have experienced a time in life where you had a breakthrough before, who is has any say in what you are or are not capable of in this next season? You don’t know what you’re capable of, so don’t let others assume they know what your capable of! Don’t make decisions this year based on the seeds other people planted in you. If in doubt, I promise all your answers are somewhere in-between Wisdom and your uniqueness. What if this season you didn’t give up and instead, decided to get quiet and chase wisdom?

Okay, what I am about to say to you may be even more difficult to understand but stick with me for a moment! Try to hear my words! I promise at some point in my life, I have been where you are! Searching for answers, seeking for something more, and stumbling through life season after season. What if this season you did something different? What if you sat quiet with yourself and did something unordinary? What I am about to tell you is something that I have done before, then turned away from, and then came back to. And I can tell you this “my life has gotten easier when I came back”! I can’t tell you if this is going to feel natural for you, or how this will change your life, because I don’t know you personally. But what I can promise you is this, “you will discover a wisdom like no other person around you, and your life will change drastically and miraculously”!

Take a moment, any moment, in the morning or in the evening, when you can hide away in a room by yourself. Take that moment to look through some of the words in the Book of Proverbs. I know! I know! Churchy religious people preaching about their God! First, let’s make something clear. I am not churchy or religious. And second, I have attempted life so many ways and I can tell you that every area of my life has never been clearer then when I get instructions from the WORD! You want the key to a happy life? Get Wisdom! Seek for Wisdom! Crave Wisdom! I promise there is a God (I call it God, you call it whatever you want), who created you and He hears all your thoughts, emotions, and concerns about your life. He won’t just hear your thoughts and concerns; He will show you the answers to all your questions. They are right there in the words of the many authors who contributed to the Bible.

 I get it! So many churchy people think God speaks audibly and they mystify everything! It’s kind of annoying! But I am NOT here to dictate what you should and should not believe, I am here as a friend and a witness. And I am here as a witness to say “the bible is not a mistake”. It is full of men and women like us who stumbled through life with struggles, illnesses, pain, loss, and trauma. It’s fill with wisdom and information from people who walked side by side with a man who had enough faith to give up all the pleasures in his own life, to just be present with people who were different then him. He walked his life being a living example for us so that we could have a ‘Heaven like experience’ here on earth. This man never took advice from people, but rather gave Knowledge to the people! I have experienced a different kind of God then most. It’s personal!

I believe we were all created differently on purpose. I also believe we were created to interpret things differently, but not dispute all our differences. We were created to seek wisdom in our journey and get understanding for the things we can’t comprehend. To get Wisdom and understanding, we must allow “God”. Who always moves in silence and teaches me to do the same.

So, before you allow another distraction in your life, Hold on a little longer. Give yourself time to build strength, wisdom, and knowledge this season. Move silently forward so in the next season of life, your burdens will be light. If we want to experience a life filled with blessings and happiness, our perspective on life must be transformed. We need resilience to hold on in the unknown moments of life that offer blessings. When things get confusing, sit silently in the Word and you will see all the blessings in the wilderness. You will discover wisdom in all your experiences.

CONCLUSION

Sitting still sometimes means doing what you know brings joy to your heart but could also add value to others. What do you love doing that could result in helping someone else? Sometimes it means you need to let go and let God! There are just some things we can’t control. Do the things you can and stop doing things that distract you and burden you. To break chains means, we must stop forcing ourselves to hustle, grind, work, and chase things today that hold no real meaning tomorrow. Stop keeping busy on things that offer no value to your soul. And whatever you do, even if you do something you don’t really like, do it as if you’re doing it for God. You will find the joy in it, and your burden will become lighter, because you’re paying attention. Your survival and life depend on how well you handle adversity. You can’t handle adversity if you’re not paying attention to yourself. Your life is filled with experiences that offer you an opportunity to gain strength and wisdom! So go out and chase wisdom!

WHAT ARE WE LIVING FOR?

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

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What are we living for? Like do you ever wonder …

“what’s the point of all this”?

Ugh, Life! What is the purpose of ones life? The roller coaster of good seasons and bad seasons. Its so overwhelming sometimes!

You know, we go through our journey and each of us walk down a different path. We each experience missed opportunities, and opportunities that open doors to blessings! Life is filled with little experiences, the cultures were introduced to, the food we eat, the family that raises us, and the impact they have on us as we get older. But still we ask “what’s the point”? I mean we don’t get to choose our paths or do we?

I have lived the past 7 years trying to ignore everything I’ve ever been taught and allow strangers from all walks of life to share their experiences and journey with me and I’ve listened with the intent to learn something new. Or atleast to see life through someone else’s eyes. And can I just say. It’s fascinating how different we all truly are!

But what’s the point of the journey? Is it all about reaching our goals? Is it the job? the money? The car? The house? The family? What should we focus on? Is it in our hustle & grind or our accomplishments?

What do you think?

And even if and when we have accomplished all “the things”, what is there left to do next? Are we supposed to just keep chasing the next thing? Fill the voids of being alone with our wins? Or share them with loved ones who come and go in and out of our life? To just constantly chase people, things, places, love, or for just a little attention and a small taste of pleasure? Like what’s the point of this life anyway?!? The chase? The human experience? What’s it for?

And if we’re all on a different hunan experience, why do we fight, and have so much division in our world today? Will humans ever be able to live in harmony with one another, helping, teaching, loving, and sharing our experiences? Will we find a way to help one another with love, compassion, and respect rather than with a desire for power and wrath?

These were the questions I asked myself this past weekend as I layed in a hospital bed scared to hear the test results of the CT SCAN. After being rushed to the emergency room from a “squeezing chest pain”. My life flashed before my eyes! “I’m 45, I eat healthy, exercise, pray, do all the things, so why me? The worry didn’t end there! My next worry was obviously…”What will happen to my daughter’s if I’m gone”?

All the questions that come rushing up when we haven’t planned for the upcoming, unpredictable events that come crashing into our life like a tornado!

Eventually, my daughter’s would get over the loss. But this experience would definitely impact them for the rest of their life. What will they do with that impact? Will they spend their time trying to fix what the doctors couldn’t? Would they numb it with drugs, alcohol and other recreational activities or substances? Well, thank God we don’t have to find out, (not yet anyway) because I’m not finished with my work here.

I was released and sent home with medications! Which I’m not fond of. Since I prefer a more organic and holistic approach to healing. But here I am!

Guess, what I’m trying to say is, life will happen, no matter what road you choose or hand you get delt. So, don’t kill yourself over a few bad choices, or for not choosing a different route.

I no longer feel that life is just about the journey, I believe it’s what you decide to do ‘WITH-IN’ the journey that matters most.

“Dont loss hope, embrace the journey your on, and always listen to the little lessons and blessings life offers you!.”

Where is My Holidate (Part 2)

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com

As I was saying, time is our most precious commodity in life. I say “commodity” because I’ve noticed how easily people give up their time. Our time can be bought or given away for free. Don’t waste it on people who devalue their own time, because they will waste your time in the process! When I finally took a moment to breath and be in the moment, my life changed drastically! I not only valued my time, but I respected my own values by not allowing “time wasters” into my life. I spent some time alone with myself figuring out who I was and wo I wanted to be, then some more time figuring out what kind of guy I wanted in my life, and the kind of guy I didn’t want in my life. And when I figured out the kind of life I wanted to live and the kind of person I wanted to be, I realized quickly the kind of guy I actually wanted in my life. I realized very early in the game that the kind of guy I wanted in my life, really wouldn’t like the person I was prior to me working on me. So, I spent the next 5 years becoming the kind of person, “my ideal partner” would not only like but love! Once I did that, I realized I would rather be single then settled. And I no longer wanted to waste my time with men (or people) who would hold no value in the life I wanted to live. See, when you get alone with yourself to actually figure out what the hell you want, you stop wasting time on the people and things that make you miserable! Try to remember this one very important rule: “When you’re miserable so are the people you hang around” 

See, when we get a moment to gain clarity and perspective, our mind and motives, become abundantly clear. Suddenly we get this desire and passion for life, and in the process, we realize how precious our time truly is. Take it from me, when you’ve been single for a while, you never want to lose yourself to someone who doesn’t have the same vision, desire, or values for life, that you hold. Settling is not an option! This feeling is only something you can understand when you’ve spent enough time “alone and happy. That’s right, I said alone and happy! I can’t believe the amount of people in this world that struggle to be alone with themselves, but then they are confused why no one else wants to be alone with them. (smh) If you can’t be alone with you, don’t expect others to want to be alone with you!

Most single, independent women (and men) who have been single for any amount of time, have learned to embrace every season with purpose. One thing I’ve learned being single, is that I can go through struggles knowing I will regain new strength and meaning for each day! It is indescribable how resilient we become once we focus on the big picture. It is not something you can teach but must live to truly understand. Basically, if we can live life clinging to every season with grace and eagerness for more experiences and lessons, then we will live a life filled with experiences and lessons. Try to remember “We grow through what we go through”. We don’t want people in our life that add weight to our already heavy life. Rather, we want someone to come along for the ride with us who can handle the journey, building a life together! Most people who are 40 and up have already been with someone who drove them through hell and back at least once and they refuse to allow that happen again. I did say “most”. But some of you are a glutton for punishment because you never take the time to get over on before you get right on top of another!!! Yes, a little crude, but true. Com ‘on you know I am right! Quite frankly, many women over 40 are tired of cleaning up the damage you had with your ex. So, as the saying goes, “we would much rather be single than settled”.

Truth is that self-sufficient women don’t want someone who can’t handle the struggles of life. Life happens all the time and if a man can’t be strong and walk forward confidently in the struggles, why would she need him? She has been single this long and done just fine! Funny isn’t it, men say all they want is to feel needed, important, appreciated and loved, but most men don’t understand what those things mean to him. Let me also add Girls will not “Give sex for love” guys, that shit isn’t working anymore! We figured out; we love ourselves more and if we’re honest, they have toys that work magic for women today. Just saying!

Here is a prime example of what I am talking about…. I am scrolling through Facebook at 5am and this ad popped up. Obviously, another coaching ad! This female (we will call her Silly Sally) claimed to be offering help to all the “Independent single women who struggled to find a real man”. So, I decided to read into the comments, because there was no way I was clicking that link!

(Giggles) as I ask myself “who the hell told Facebook I was struggling to find a man? Why is this ad in my feed?” (scratching my head, rolling my eyes) “whatever….reading on…”

So, the creator continued to speak of how she was this “Single independent women” who moved and traveled for a year until she met this “great guy”! Then she proceeded to explain how she ended up with him and they moved in together after only 3 months! HELLO! WAIT! WHAT? WTF! Can someone say RED FLAG????!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TODAY!! So quick to move in with each other! So, let me get this straight! This is a “Successful and Independent woman who is selling a program for women to “give up control” so she can be with a real man?” Umm…I’d love to be a fly on the wall at her house today! LOL Listen, real men don’t need you to give up control! Real men want powerful women and visa-versa! Powerful people need each other because they fuel one another. Bottom line! So don’t dumb down your character, tune in to your genius and recognize the red flags early on. Stop dating based on attraction, status, and sex!! There is no way sh learned enough about that guy in just 3 months. Shit like that drives me batty that women follow her and buy into her program because she is claiming to be a dating expert because she met some stranger at the peak of her career while traveling. And now they live together after three months so that makes her a expert? Are you freaking kidding me? That makes her an idiot!!!

Look, Men who find successful women intimidating are the ones will always fight and argue with her because they feel this need to “win”. Those are insecure, ego driven, ass holes with no real purpose in life. It’s very narcissistic. Let me fuel your soul with some wisdom right now…”If you are giving up control for any man, your weak and more codependent than independent! And you will never find your voice hiding behind anyone else’s ego”!

“Where are all the courageous men and all the strong women?”

So, if your single this holiday remember, independent women who want a partner, do NOT want to mother their partner! women, not all men are looking to take advantage of you for their own pleasure. Truth is, there are good and evil people in this world, and you must be one of the good ones to find the good ones, and then weed out the bad ones. I am a hopeless romantic, so I do believe in love. Especially during the holidays. I may not be the writer that believes in “love at first site” and Maybe I don’t agree with “moving in with someone too quickly”, But the magic I foresee goes beyond the basic romantic novels I read and write. I want happiness for myself, and I most certainly want happiness for my readers. But mostly, I want those individuals who feel lonely during the holiday season to find happiness inside themselves. I want more people to live in the moment, find contentment and happiness in their singleness, and discover a new life in the journey. Each person has a little crazy inside them. It’s okay to be strange and unusually. Embrace it, because that could be the very thing that attract your person. I admit it, I can be a little corky sometimes, my belief systems can seem a little “out of this world”, and my obsession with ORGANIC can be a little extreme. But I actually enjoy being single, so I embrace my weird, corky habits and hobbies. Maybe it’s the awkwardness of a first date or the “interview” like process that goes with the first date, that makes me avoid dating at all costs. (Giggles at self) Or it could just be that I want something that comes natural, easy, and leaves me craving more. After 7 years being single, I have never been on a date that has left me craving for a third date. I sadly admit they usually end by then! True story! Definitely a blog for another day.

Inquiring minds still want to know …… WHERE IS MY HOLIDATE?

I know! I Know! I am waiting patiently as well!! So, I guess until Mr. Holidate comes along, we will have to wait another year and see how or who the universe brings our way…

“WHERE’S MY HOLLIDATE”? (Part 1)

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

“They are either really buff and not that bright, or their really bright and have commitment issues”!

Let’s face it, the holidays get closer, and singleness sort of sucks! You want someone sitting by your side during holiday dinners or standing next to you at all those Christmas and New Year’s events. We each have an innate desire for a companion. Whether it be an intimate relationship or just a simple friendship. But no one truly enjoys being alone during the holidays.

Most single women want the kind of man who sees her for who she truly is. A sexy goddess who has internal and external desires, passions, and dreams. Someone who will build her up! Not that confident woman these days “Need” any man to confirm how amazing she truly is! Since she already puts herself on a 100ft pedestal!  But let’s be honest, deep down to the very core of our souls, women (and men) just want the kind of person that adds excitement and value to our life. You know that person that sees you from across the room and knows the perfect thing to say, just to save you from that family member with all the drama. Or the one that helps you avoid those awkward questions about how you are single for the umpteenth year!

But still, I find myself asking this question…”where are all the good men that are worthy enough to bring home for the holidays?” “Inquiring minds want to know”! Where is my “holidate”? Where are the men that have bodies and brains? Where are the men that don’t have commitment issues…? or “mommy issues” or any issues for that matter! Ugh. It feels like more and more men are embracing Christian Grey’s role of being “50 shades of fucked up!!”

Truth be told, it really is exhausting as a single, independent women who is looking for a date during the holidays. Or any days for that matter! When you’ve been single for any amount of time, you can expect questions about your singleness to head your way. As if those lonely holiday events weren’t dreadful enough…Here they come…. WAT FOR IT…

“Why are you still single?”

Are you dating anyone?”

Girl, when are you going to get out there and start dating again?”

 “Don’t you get lonely

“Don’t you get horny

Uh, like seriously! WTF

I can’t tell you how many single, independent women are sick of these questions! YES! We are obviously still single! And YES! We are always (secretly) looking around! And YES! We get lonely…sometimes! And YES! We go on more dates than we’d like to admit! But it is quite exhausting! And while everyone around you is expecting you to show up with a guy, just for the sake of not being the 3rd, 5th, or 9teenth wheel in the room, is even more daunting than going on all those time-wasting dates!Those of you who have been with someone for the last decade, let me just say that dating is not what it used to be. Work it out! Be happy with what you have and make the best of it. You picked him (or her) for some god-awful reason, and you really think you’re in a place to find something better? ha ha ha Think again my friend!!! Because people out here today…. umm not kidding…… I have one word for you…. CRAZY!

People in the dating scene today, are all kinds of mixed up! I don’t know if its the COVID JUICE, or what, but people have no clue what they want, and what they dont want. People in the dating scene are not themselves and don’t know how to act on a date! Dating is just exhausting! Honestly, after going on about 100+ dates, (could be exaggerating just a little…. maybe) I have acknowledged a consistency and pattern with the men I have gone out with lately. For instance, did you know most men actually have expectations for women to fulfill certain needs, wants, and desires? Oh YES! But the real kicker, is that they can’t even figure out what they actually want, need or desire. (Scratching my head and giggling) So basically the expectations they have for their dates, are irrelevant until they figure it out themselves! Insecure and naive women who date these men are bound to fail and will end up losing themselves to these narcissistic animals! If I may be blunt …(as if I  haven’t been already) I feel like most people today run-on greed. The thoughts, actions, and intentions some individuals have today are negative and selfish with underlining motives!  And trust me when I say, “they are never good”! This is because when men and women go on dates, they act so fake right out the gates! So many people today are insecure, and “codependent”! They don’t know how to be themselves around strangers without putting up a front. I just don’t understand it!

To define yourself through someone else’s eyes, only leads to confusion, and unhealthy relationships. What we want in life and what we want in a partner must be known. Furthermore, we must be a representation of what our expectations are. All single people should decide to spend enough time alone to get over their last relationship and also to discover who they truly are without anyone. Who are you before the person?  Are you true to yourself or do you see what is trending and follow all “the cool kids”? Funny how people say they know what they want, but they either follow the trend or expect their partner to “represent” for them. I just wish men would stop sexualizing women, and women would stop downplaying the role of our men! Seriously lady’s, are you wanting a husband or another child? Stop mothering and patronizing men! If Gen X is concerned about why their Generation Z children are in the LGBTQ+++ community, this is why! Uncertainty of thy self, due to pressure of fitting into someone (or everyone) else’s bubble! Or perhaps it’s just shitty parenting skills. Seriously, at this rate I’m going to die alone and single! And honestly, if these narcissistic, needy, “man children” are my only options? Well, at this rate, I’m better off!

I honestly don’t know where we lost respect and boundaries in our dating life, but somewhere along the way we’ve gotten lost. Dating used to be personal and private. It was exciting, flirty, honest, and mostly it was a process. Girls/Women respected themselves and men courted a woman. Adultery was not flaunted around, and most young children (10 and 11 years old) still played with dolls and toys. Not Sex TOYS and BOYS!! I honestly don’t think it is just America either. I do think we have completely downgraded our value and self-worth as men and as women across the globe. Therefore, we have downgraded our standards for our relationships. We don’t date with purpose anymore, we just date for the sake of not being alone and for pure intimate pleasure.

So, how do we find the perfect date for the holidays? Well, if dating in 2021 was like going to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and trying out every flavor but choosing the damn hard candy that only cost .02 cents! (WTF?). Let’s do better on our choices! Seriously? If you were going to choose the cheapest piece of candy, why did you even visit the factory? You could have just gone to the convenience store!! Stop wasting your time! Get clear on who you are, and who you want and don’t want in your life!

COME BACK FOR PART TWO….. FINDING MY HOLIDATE FOR 2022 –