Do you ever wonder why all your relationships end up repeating themselves with the same stressful, draining, drama filled people? Well we all go through this. I literally lay down two easy steps that you can take right now to prevent this from happening ever again.
Listen up, because I am here to tell you that starting right now, your relationships can be, “life giving” and not “life sucking”! I’m not just talking about your dating relationships. I’m talking about all the relationships you have professionally and personally.
Truth be told, the reason behind all the “drama” in relationships, is because we have lost total control of who we are as individuals. Everything we know about relationships is BS. We are taught by our parents what relationships look like, we are influenced by media (TV, Facebook, Vacation Ads, Marketers, etc.) on what relationships “should look like”, and we are more connected to technology, then we are with our own human species. We have literally lost totally connection to our own being, and yet we wonder why we are so unhappy. We wonder why there is war in the world, yet we do these 5 asinine things daily:
“5 Asinine things we Do daily”
- We walk out our doors and flick people off who drive too slowly or cut us off.
- We yell at people who are texting and driving, yet we text and browse the internet while driving.
- We get angry when we get stuck in traffic, even though we know there will be traffic.
- We yell at other people when things don’t go as we expected.
- We are screaming just because it somehow gives us pleasure to lash out at other people.
What is that all about anyway? When did it become a “trend” to be disrespectful? I am not kidding! The human race has lost all respect. In fact, we’ve not only lost the concept of respect, we use the word “respect” in a disrespectful way. We use it to get leverage.
OH, FYI, if You don’t know who I am and this is your first time here, let me introduce myself. “Hi, I am Christina, AKA Organic Tina. I don’t sugar coat shit, but I will help you find solutions!” Embrace yourself, because it’s about to GET REAL UP IN HERE…”
We have NO SELF RESPECT and We DON’T RESPECT OTHERS
Why do our relationships suck? Um, excuse me? Hello? Do you see the problem here? We have become an over reactive species. Our relationships don’t work where love is concerned, and they don’t really work in any other area of our life either. We react to everything in the most dramatic way. Our boss can’t give us constructive criticism because we overreact, and when he/she let’s us go, then we overreact again by bashing the boss and saying “how disrespectful they were”. We do the same with teachers, professors clients, kids, parents and the list goes on. We have become so out of touch with “learning ourselves” or “accepting change by listening to constructive criticism” that if people don’t meet our expectations, we overreact and become completely disrespectful. And that brings me to my point….
Your relationships suck, because YOU SUCK!
You are the reason nothing is turning out the way YOU WANT. You don’t sit with yourself long enough to know what you even want. You don’t turn off the TV, put down the phone, stop opening the books, put down whatever it is that you’re in the habit of doing, and just sit in your own thoughts for 5 minutes!
How can you expect everything to go your way? You don’t even know what “your way” is! Let me ask you something, What the hell do you want in a relationship? And are you willing to change to make it work? Probably not. Why should you have to change to make other people happy? Well good news, YOU DON’T! But what you do have to do is these two little simple steps.
1. Write down what you want. That’s right! Go get a pen right now and write down WHAT YOU WANT.
WRITE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW…. What do You Want in a Relationship???
Did you write it down? I’m still waiting here. Go ahead, write it down. Go get a pen and write it down. Hello, did you write it down yet? No, you didn’t! You’re still here reading this article! I literally just gave you the first step to finding your perfect relationship and you can’t even do one simple step! You know what the problem is, YOU! You want to sit there in your pity party, and you want to drag everyone down with you and blame others because you’re not happy in your relationships. You expect everyone to listen to you and you don’t even know what YOU WANT. And all because you can’t take 5 minutes to write down “what the hell you really want in a relationship”.
Now, if you are the exception, and you actually went and took 5 minutes to write down “what you want your relationship to look like moving forward”, then THAT IS AWESOME! You my friend, are heading towards a journey that will bring you clarity in ALL your relationships. That’s right, I said CLARITY in ALL relationships. Look at the list you wrote, and now I need you to do one more thing. And this is going to be the hard part. This is step number 2.
2. REFLECTION
I always say “reflection” is one of the hardest things for people to do. Humans have a really difficult time facing the reflection, when they realize the one thing staring back at them, is themselves. When you write down what you want in your relationships, and you spend time looking over it, you’re literally looking at your own expectations in your relationships. Now, let me ask you this, and please be honest. If you found a person of that stature today, would they like who you are right now? I know that takes a second. Let me say it one more time “If you met your perfect partner today, would they really like the person you are today?”
I know that sucks! But, truth is, If you are not “A REFECTION OF WHAT YOU WANT” you will always be conflicted, and you will always be in “want”. Right now, you have these expectations about the kind of person you wish your partner was, or the type of person you want to be with, and you struggle to understand why your attracting all the wrong people. When the truth is, you are not attracting the right kind of people, because those people you’re wanting to attract, are not attracted to you! I know that sucks to hear too, but it is the truth.
NOW LET’S LOOK THROUGH A NEW LENZ, SHALL WE?
I am a “problem solver” not a “people pleaser”. (Okay maybe I am still working on the whole people pleaser thing). Regardless, I want to help you begin to lose everything in your life that is TOXIC. But I am not going to sugar coat it to get you there. I want to help you engage with the people who are Beneficial for “YOU”. You are special and you are unique! I want to help you embrace your uniqueness. Each and every one of us has a design, and each design has a purpose. With that said, Let’s get you in a place of clarity….
HOW CAN I BEGIN TO HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIPS?
So, you wrote down all the qualities of the person you would like in your life, right? Did you reflect on the character of the person you want, and the person you are right now? What does that look like to you? How do you look in that relationship, as you are right now? You must get this! Obviously, you really don’t mesh well with the person you are looking for or you would not be reading this article. But you also don’t mesh with the one’s you do find creeping into your life. You must look intently at that list, (who do I want in my life, and who don’t I want in my life) and look intently at yourself. Now ask yourself this very important question: “How can I become the type person I want to be with?”
THE ACTION YOU HAVE TO TAKE
That’s right, you have to become the kind of person you want in your life. The people you are currently attracting, is “YOU NOW”. But what does “FUTURE YOU” look like? You must become your future self! I promise you that once you become satisfied with yourself, and your own circumstances, the person you find yourself with, will actually “add” to your life, rather than “drain” your life. This person will make you feel even better and build you even higher than you build yourself. Listen, you know that “peddle stool” everyone talks about? Well, this person will put you on one of those, but even higher than you put yourself. I know you don’t put yourself on a peddle stool at all right now, but eventually you will! That is, if spend time to get to know yourself.
So, starting today write down the kind of person you would like to find standing next to your future self. Don’t allow anymore toxic relationships to come into your life and your relationships won’t suck. You can’t blame other people because you make your own choices in life. We live in a very big world. There are many different styles of life. What style of life do you want to live? Are you living in a way that expresses the lifestyle you want in a partner? Probably not! And that is okay. You have learned so much from every relationship you have already been in. You know exactly what you DON’T WANT. So, write that down! Acknowledge that so you can see it coming back into your life when you meet new people. You don’t have to be rude, but you also don’t have to settle.
So, in closing, find yourself and complete yourself first. If, and when you find a partner, he or she will complement your character. They will add to your already perfect life. They will encourage and build you up. Don’t allow people to trick you into doing what you don’t want or living in a way you’re not comfortable with. You know what your expectations are “RIGHT NOW”, you know the lifestyle you want to live tomorrow, and you’re aware of the lifestyle you don’t want to live anymore. So, stop getting into relationships with people who live in ways that conflict with these morals. I don’t care how “HOT” he is, if he doesn’t know how to manage money, he is NOT FOR ME! If he smokes and has habits that I don’t, HE IS NOT FOR ME! If he doesn’t live what “I see as healthy” he is not for me. If he doesn’t like ORGANIC, he is not for me……the list goes on. Stop settling for guys (or girls) who are not in alignment with your morals. Bottom line!
If you need more advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today or join my channel on YouTube. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. By taking actions and embracing the unknown adventures. Living in abundance is a choice…
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CHOOSE ABUNDANCE TODAY!!!
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