STOP FEELING STUCK IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT DON’T WORK OUT

May 19, 2023October 2, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

You know when you go on those dates, and they feel so uncomfortable right out the gate? Well, you should run! For some reason we stick around and continue to allow ourselves to become prey to whatever that person, or people are feeding us. We desire love and affection and attention so much that we will continue to ignore the signals our body and mind are telling us. Our body has natural senses to signal us from danger, and our mind tells us “Something’s off!” but we always ignore it. WHY DO WE DO THAT? Why can’t we listen and react the way we know we should at the core of our soul? It is so frustrating when we don’t listen to ourselves and yet we continue the cycle of allowing ourselves to ignore the red flags. When we have no self-control, we have no control of our mind, our decisions, or our actions.

HOW CAN WE REACT TO THE RED FLAGS?

For starters, when you get that uncomfortable feeling inside your gut that says, “this person is so full of shit” RUN! When you are sitting there listening to someone who is completely out of alignment with your beliefs, RUN! When you are with someone who you are not really attracted to, but you think you can see passed it later down the road, RUN!

What am I really saying? Stop having expectations that other people will change their ways for you and stop changing your ways for other people who don’t value you. Now I am all for transformation and changing of our minds. But when it becomes a complete contradiction of our innate beliefs, I warn to not fall prey to narcissistic or controlling people who are looking for your vulnerability areas. STOP TRYING TO FIT INTO EVERY ONE ELES’S BUBLE!!! Likewise, stop trying to force others to fit into your bubble!

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT DON’T WORK

To get unstuck in relationships that we know aren’t going anywhere means avoiding relationships that are out of alignment in the first place. You could have avoided this if you took your time. People don’t take enough time to really get to know one another today. They walk around being fake trying to force relationships. Desperation to find love in the midst of some “common ground”; convincing ourselves to fit in to what other people think and believe, just for one taste to satisfy our personal desire! To have a lasting connection or to experience that unbreakable bond with another being is the ultimate goal for every human being. God said it best when he said “It is not good for man to be alone!” But when we are fake and act out desperation, what happens a few months down the road? We forget how to think for ourselves, we lose ourselves in other people, and we live with regret hanging over us for even getting involved with these people.

So, to get unstuck in a relationship that holds no value in your own life, means you have to value yourself first. To value yourself means you must force yourself to be true to yourself instead of forcing yourself to fit in. Either way, there is a force inside of you that is trying to guide you. It is your responsibility to choose YOU in that moment and in every moment after. What do I mean? Well ask yourself these two questions when you feel you are at a crossroads.

You have to answer YES to BOTH of the following questions…

Does this serve me, in this moment?
Does this serve me, for the long hall?

If you don’t answer YES! For BOTH questions you need to reevaluate your decision moving forward. WHY? Because anything that is serving you in the moment won’t last forever. And if it doesn’t serve your future, why would you want it anyway? Serving you for the long hall means it serves you TODAY and TOMORROW. Which means it is constant. And a bond that is constant can only be a blessing for you and your life. To get unstuck and avoid relationships that don’t work, you have to strive for relationships that are constantly working for you in every moment, instead of against you in the most important moments.

DID YOU HEAR THAT? “You have to have relationships that are constantly working for you in every moment, instead of against you in the most important moments.” This has to apply to both people and not just one sided. Now you ask Christina, how do you do that? “How do you know which relationships are constantly working? First, you need to recognize the relationships that are only temporary distractions from the ones that have long term potential. And the only way to decipher between these two, is to READ THOSE RED FLAGS and eliminate unnecessary distractions from all areas of your life!

READ THE RED FLAGS RIGHT OUT THE GATE

If we would just learn to read the red flags, allow them to fester inside when they’re presented, and then take appropriate actions the second we acknowledge them, we would have a lot less stress around the people we hang around. The truth is people don’t know themselves because they follow the rules of everyone else. We’ve reached this new generation where we don’t think for ourselves, we just fit in and blend in with all the trends. We listen to social media and see what everyone else is saying and we regurgitate it. We don’t even believe half the shit that comes out of our own mouth. We are too afraid to tell our own truth and yet we hate the world’s lies. So why don’t you just read the red flags of the people you know you shouldn’t have in your life and dismiss them. That way you can begin engaging with the people you’re actually in alignment with and stop wasting time with people who derail you from experiencing a great life.

We have moved into a world of DICTATORSHIP, and it’s not only become toxic, but contagious! Not only to our individual lives but to our society as an entirety. We have more and more people becoming narcissists because the character traits of narcissism says “we need control”. Control of people and the environment we live in. And so, when we meet people (and you’re a control freak) you lash out instead of welcoming diversity. To be teachable is to allow change. To allow change into our life is to grow. But the extent of that change is where people get confused. Let me make this very clear for you, “what that life change and growth looks like depends solely on you!” What kind of people are you allowing to influence your life?

OPENING YOUR HEART TO NEW KIND OF PEOPLE

When we meet new people, we have to realize we are stepping into their world. We want to be a steppingstone not a stumbling block for the people we meet. And we want that reciprocated. But to do that we have to try to look at life through their lens, while also seeing clearly through our own lens. We can’t look at everything inward with selfishness and we also can’t look outward to appease people. Yes again, we meet people, and we need to protect ourselves. But we also have to keep in mind that although they are stepping into our world, when we meet people, we are also stepping into their world, from their lens.

WARNING: We just talked about the red flags. Obviously if you meet someone who has narcissistic behavior patterns, you better watch out! In fact, RUN! Because when you enter “their world” they will attempt to control you and force you to play some toxic role in their world. They need you so they can blame you. When you allow people to control you and you lose yourself in them that is where the relational issues begin. Every time you allow people to have control of you in a way that sets them up for success, you get distracted, disappointed and fail. This makes you angry and while It sets them up for success it makes you look insane! Remember this, they can’t blame you for everything bad in their own life including the bad decisions they make, unless you let them!

So yes! We must see the red flags and look through our own lens with clarity, but we also have to be open for change when meeting new people. If that change includes growth for both of you, then that is the kind of relational connection you need to open your heart to. Opening your heart to new kinds of people means it’s essential for you to realize the kind of people you have chosen in the past, and avoid them like the plague. If you don’t learn to read the red flags of the people you are talking to, you are only setting yourself up for another failed relationship! Similarly, If you don’t begin opening your heart to explore dating new kinds of people, you are only setting yourself up for another failed relationship!

LET ME END WITH THIS THOUGHT

You are a beautiful soul on an amazing journey through life. Don’t waste it on anyone who makes you feel unworthy or frightened to be yourself. We as humans need to feel free enough to be ourselves, while also growing in all the areas that require self-growth. What is self growth? Well, that depends on you and your expectations for your life. And that is another topic for another day!

But TODAY embrace yourself! Be excited about the journey and explore the unknown with anticipation for the unexpected events that are coming your way. There is someone very special out there who will ‘get you’. Someone who excepts you with all your quirkiness. Someone who will see you through a lens that brings your view into focus. Someone who excites you to the very core of your being. There is someone out there who will inspire you to do the impossible. Someone who will encourage you to do the things that fuel the fire in your soul. There is someone out there who when you meet them you will just know by the look in their eyes that everything is in alignment. A person you want to be with and do life with. A time will come when this person falls right out of the sky into your life with no warning. Embrace it with all its wonder, beauty, and uncertainty. Because the only way to feel unstuck from relationships that don’t work out is to feel attached and connected to one person beyond basic human understanding. Remember to ask yourself “Does this serve me in this moment? And does this serve me for the long haul?”

How to Gain Clarity in your Losses

March 7, 2022October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Leveling up your playing field

First, let me start by say that leveling up your playing field means “You get to live the life you want without other people controlling any part of your belief system, your decisions, or your lifestyle. That means, we need to gain total control of our mind, our actions, our health and our finances so we can live our life with a clear vision of the life we want. Being an entrepreneur and business owner, I thought I had all that covered. Boy was I wrong!!! Let me first share with you a little back story of how I lost total control of my business, my finances and most importantly, myself worth, and then I will share how I gained clarity in all my losses

So, what brought me to this place where I feel lack and frustration was when I had a client who caught covid and did not give me the common courtesy to give me a choice!! Now don’t hear what I am not saying. I am not blaming this customer for my being here today, because we all know when we point one finger at someone else, we have three fingers pointed back at ourselves. So first we must always acknowledge that by allowing others to have control, we are enabling them. I wanted to be clear on that. So, moving on…

This particular client confirmed their appointment with me and had me arrive at their home on our usually 9:30-10am bi-weekly appointment. They confirmed and I showed up! I allowed them to have control of the situation because I depend on that income. I “needed” them. I could have just as easily walked out the door and told her to call me when she is feeling better. Let me state clearly, that when people know you “need them”, you put yourself in a very vulnerable place. Okay so continuing….

By deciding to stay and provide services for this client, it just so happens, that it caused me to further lose other work in the process. How you ask? Well, for one, I had to cancel other work as to avoid getting other clients sick. And then second, me and my daughters did end up getting sick. So that was two weeks of work gone!
Okay, so its flu season, right? So, what, I got a sore throat and had to take the day or a few days off. No big deal, right? I know your already probably thinking, “What is the point of this story? And what does it have to do with finding clarity?” But just stay with me for a moment! I get it your thinking “It’s not really a big deal” Where I reply, “Until it is a bigger deal then I thought all along!” Let me first just say that no matter what you’re going through right now, your feelings and your emotions play a huge role in your actions. And the trauma you experience will continue to add roadblocks in your actions and in your journey through life.

“Our circumstances equal our playing field, and our playing field equals our opportunity to Level up our life”!

If life has taught me anything it’s that I am not in control of other people, their thoughts or their actions. Therefore, I have no control of my (past, current or present) situation if I give control away. Funny thing is, for the last few years, I thought I was living by this quote “You can’t control other people, but you can control how you react towards other people.”

I literally teach this concept in my book, podcasts and through blogs, and here I am, stuck laying in my bed, feeling completely contradicting of everything I represent! Truth is, to me “not reacting to other people means, “Don’t’ overreact when people treat you like shit!” or “Don’t allow others to upset you when they are assholes.” And as I still believe this concept to be true, there is still an underlying issue that I didn’t even realize until I took action and signed up for Lisa Bilyeu RADCON course. She really helped me see what radical confidence really means! She lead me in a whole new direction. She took me from being unclear about my goals and my purpose in life to finding my purpose in life. She took me from being scared, doubtful, embraced, and even self shaming, to being able to take massive actions, and be “The hero of my own life”. See without the right people directing you and feeding into your soul, you can’t lose the blocks that keep you from reaching your full protentional.

By allowing my client to have control is just one example of me not having control in my life. At this point now, I am still searching right? So, digging into Lisa’s course, I then get a call from Natasha Graziano’s assistant. I’m going to be honest here and go out on a limb, I had no clue who Natasha was. I looked her up and saw she was super famous, successful and looked extremely happy and abundant! I went on a research binge to find out all that I could on this Natasha Graziano. And realized I actually just saw her a few weeks prior on an episode at Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. I was in my awe moment because I just realized all the synchronicities that were appearing in my life. I just began to feel blessed. Even more then I already felt, if that was possible!

I spoke to an amazing women Named Maria from Natasha Graziano’s team and she convinced me to sign up for their Authority Accelerator course. If I’m going to be completely honest with myself, and with you, I was feeling a little overwhelmed and was tired of people trying to sell me on courses. However, I remembered all the things I heard in Lisa Bilyeu’s course, and I knew I had to lose the doubt and fear that was creeping in. Lisa calls this “The bitch in my head”. I literally had to tell her to “shut the hell up because I was, I was in control of my actions. I am now a ‘WOMEN OF IMPACT’ and I was taking control of my own destiny”!

I was allowing the excuses to overwhelm me. The excuse that “I still haven’t completely finished my RADCON course that I just paid for” and “I just needed a job”, thoughts like; “I am not in season, and I have limited funds coming in now” kept freaking me out and causing my stress levels to raise. They kept coming at me “not to mention, I just got a new car and have a higher car payment” the bitch in my head would not stop there…. “How are you going to pay for the roof over daughters heads?”

Then I paused for a moment when I realized my “Zen” was gone! SRA SRA SRA Telling myself (Chistina, Stop in your tracks, Realign your thoughts, and Assess your focus) In that very moment I made a decision. See, when I told a new friend about the situation with my client who totally disrespected me, he just reminded me that, I allowed another person to control me by not removing myself completely from the situation! They controlled my health, my business, my schedule, and my finances. And all because I allowed them to do so! See, I thought by ignoring the situation, that meant I was being the bigger person. But I was in fact, enabling people to continue to devalue me, shoot me and my character down, and preventing myself from making radical moves into my purpose driven life. I had no clarity because the Lenz I was looking through, was not my own.

Gain Clarity in Your Losses!

Like many people who have lost their businesses from this pandemic, it’s become exhausting to even hear the word “COVID”! It’s going on three years at this time, and I’m just drained! This pandemic is sucking the life out of us! The politics and inflation are killing us! And the struggle and stress are physically killing us every single day! So, what now? 2022 is here and halfway throght the year already! It’s time to move on! It is time to see life through a new Lenz! A ZEN LENZ! It is time find clarity so you can life blessed in your mess, love the journey, and feel abundant in all areas of life! but how? How do we get clarity of the mind and becone grounded and understand how we find our true purpose? Well, I will tell you. “By taking RADICAL ACTIONS THAT OFFER RADICAL RESULTS!”

See, the day maria contacted me to join the authority accelerator course, I am not going to lie. everything in my being said “Say thank you for the opportunity and hang the dam phone up!!” But that day I did something different! I told myself “Com ‘on Christina make a new choice!!! Stop talking about it an be about” I told myself all the things I’ve been saying in these blogs, and in my book. And I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I did know one thing was for sure, I knew I did not want to be a hypocrite or live life contrary to my beliefs. Let me just say CLARITY IS POWER! And this just became my new motivator to pursue multiple sources of income that no government, no pandemic, and not one single person can control. And do you know why? Because its only in my mind, its in my thoughts, its in my words and its in my actions. And no one in this world, not even the negative bitch in my head, can play the role of Ms. Christina Ditzel.

See as I was saying in the beginning of this article, sometimes, we must level up our playing field, so we can have clarity to know how to gain total control of our life! If we are not learning, planning, strategizing, and consistently making choices that benefit our own life, we are not living our life at all! Take Control of your life so others can’t control you!!

I am always learning new ways to overcome adversity and get clarity. But it wasn’t until I took drastic steps to do things that scared me, and helped me, to find my way out of all the fog. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, you can avoid making some (or all) of the mistakes I made along the way. Don’t waste any more time doing the things that hold no value in your life and add no meaning to your future. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone else is controlling any part of your life, look inward first. You have to reflect that negative situation back onto yourself first. Unfortunately, this is the only way to begin to find the clarity needed to rise above it. Ugh, realizing this was so empowering and gave me such an “aah’ ha’! ” Moment of relief, that I became excited for life in a childlike way.

Embrace the unknown with Confidence

Yes, I was uncomfortable to step out into the unknown, but I am beaming with excitement for the unexpected things that are going to happen! Look, we always have a choice. It may not be the easiest or maybe it’s not the most practical alternative, but we always have an opportunity to choose other options that benefit us! Which is why you need to “embrace the unknown with confidence”! Now this does not mean, we should continue to make bad choices and it doesn’t mean we should stop making choices at all! Not making any choices good or bad just keeps up in limbo. It keeps us stuck and prevents us from moving forward. Wasting time, we can never get back! I’m taking about acknowledging that you struggle to make decisions that will benefit you, more than they benefit others. I have done this for years in my businesses, in my family, in my relationships, and I find that it becomes a habit! But the thing about a habit, is that it can be learned, and it can be unlearned just as well!

Embracing the unknown with confidence, means, you get to enter new experiences that you know to need and want for yourself. It means you are making a decision to do something for yourself, that will benefit you now, which will benefit others later. I talk a little deeper on this in my article “Life’s Ripple effect Revealed”. Or you can check out my article on “Why do I stay” to find out more about my story, the abuse I have overcome and how i got to this abundant place in my life that offeres so opportuny and experiences.

I just want to leave you with one last thought. What if you decided today to Stop allowing others to control you? What if you had enough confidence to make some really difficult choices that would benefit your life tomorrow? What if you knew what actions you could take to get you one step closer to the life you truly desire? If you knew you could take just one small action toward your desires and see an immediate result, would you follow up that decision with Radical Confidence? Because I know the fear of stepping out into the unknown! I did it! And here I am still doing it with full confidence! I am on this amazing journey full of opportunities. If you need proof, I got you! I decided to document my journey through and to success and purpose. To get tips, resources, and information on cleansing, clarity, security and abundance reach out to your EPIC MUSE here.

Dating yourself before ‘The Person’

January 21, 2022October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

So many people struggling in their dating life. And do you know why? Because they don’t even know how they want to be treated and yet they put expectations on someone else to meet their criteria. I think by now I have earned a gold star for “Top Performing single women”. It has been 7 long years and sometimes, yes, I feel like I might be single forever! But let’s be honest, once you’ve mastered the skill of being “single and happy” you definitely don’t want to waste time trying to get “hitched and miserable!” Dating in the 21^st century has proven to be “the most dysfunctional time to date” EVER! I have been on my fair share of dating apps which….

Sent me through a loop of facetime conversations that made me feel awkward as hell
Text messages that were way over the top and inappropriate
Phone calls that went great ……. until they didn’t!
Went on more “meetup dates” that were a total waste of time

GET CLEAR ON YOUR DATING INTENTIONS

The truth is, No one knows how to be clear on their dating intentions and as a result they place all these expectations on someone else to fulfill all their dating requirements. Dating in your late 30’s, 40s or 50s is miserable and it’s just not fun anymore. These are the years we are supposed to be alive, open minded, and know what the fuck we want! Unfortunately, I think the Trump, Biden, Covid juice has literally fried everyone’s brain cells! Basically, people have lost their marbles! I have grown up with strong, independent women who require strong courageous, independent men. Unfortunately, men today have allowed the women to take the reign and they just gave up completely!

Listen Men, just because women are rediscovering their masculine sides in the corporate world (or in all worlds), does not mean you get to eat the tranquilizer of self-doubt, depression, and weakness. This leads to your narcissistic insecurities, and we DON’T WANT IT! We want you to take the reins, but we must trust you enough to lead us into abundance. If you can’t do that, we will continue to resist. And we all know where that resistance has gotten us.

The strangest thing I have encountered in dating is this “divulging of medical records, political preferences”. These things don’t really hold any real value in a relationship. When and why do we get so involved in political matters, that we allow it to literally control all our relationships? In fact, it dons not only control our relationships, but it has also taken control of our minds, body and soul. In 2019 there was so much peace in this world! Going to store was exciting because I knew I was going to meet a new stranger who was guaranteed to enlighten me, and vice versa. Now, we are 6ft apart, wearing masks, and hiding from society so we don’t catch the VID. It is fucking redundant, and those politicians are sitting up in the White House watching each and everyone one of us scramble around like a bunch of scared monkeys! And do you know what monkeys do when they are scared? They attack!

There are two sides today. On the one side, people are walking around with this entitled attitude, and on the other side they walk around with a defensive attitude. It is so exhausting! I have witnessed kids running households because their adult parents can’t get a handle on their own life. It is ridiculous! Get your shit together! Stop worrying about who is a democrat, who is a republican, who is vaccinated and who isn’t! Like really? It’s not the plaque. I can tell you first hand, I live in Florida and we have been open through most of the pandemic and I don’t see pe3ople dropping dead on the side of the road, Accept for those that have blown their brains out from feeling lonely and depressed. Get your head screwed on properly. This is not end times! Trust me, I have had my fair share of “close to death” experiences, and if God wanted me dead, he would have done it already! I mean I clean houses for a living! Do you know how many Covid people I met? I am not dead! Unless I am a literal “ghost writer”.

Truth is, so many people have a bad habit of losing themselves in other people. It’s ironic to me how fast our human nature adapts to new cultural belief systems. Even if it’s in total conflict with our own morality. So many of us easily allow others to influence, control, or manipulate us. If I have learned anything in my seven years of singleness, it is that I love “ME” just as I am! I love all the parts of me that is allowed to grow, learn, and change daily, without holding back and without the voices in my head telling me I can’t, won’t or shouldn’t! I explore life! When I go to heaven and they ask me what I enjoyed most, I will have so many experiences to share. I don’t want to waste the journey! Do you? Do you really want to be laying in your death bed wishing you felt loved? Like, truly loved! Do you even know what it feels like to be “truly loved, cherished, and treasured”? I am guessing you NO! Or you would not still be reading this blog.

Don’t worry your no alone! More then half of society does not know how to love, nor do they know what it feels like to be loved. And do you know why? Because of all that shit I spoke about earlier! People allow politics, media, tv, and “other people” to determine their destiny. Most of us never get the chance to reach our full potential because we are held back by the philosophies, and ideas of the world we surround ourselves in. But what if I told you that you could create an entirely different world for yourself? What if I told you that you could have the love of your life, the job of your dreams, and the power to create a life of abundance in all areas?

No! I am not going to try to sell you an overpriced program filled with information that you can find on the internet. What I am going to do is give you actionable activities that will help you determine what kind of life you really want to live. I will help you determine where you need boundaries and how to set those boundaries, so you can begin applying new behaviors that will have you performing at your best! You will have a love for life and a desire inside your soul that will have everyone wanting to drink “YOUR JUICE”! See, I believe in transformation, not motivation. What I do not believe in is “faking it until you make it”. I think that is all bullshit!

“Why would anyone want to fake a life they can’t actually enjoy when they can build a life that truly makes them happy?”

First, if you think for one second that you will be happy when you find “your person”, you are sorely mistaken! If you are not happy today, alone with you, why would anyone else be happy with you? Furthermore, if they are not happy with you, they will be miserable with you! Making you more miserable in the process. Do you see where I am going with this? So, before you find “your person” you must first, find you! You must know the kind of person you want in your life, and then you must become the kind of person that person would want in their life! Just as important as it is for you to be happy, it is just as important for the person you are with to be happy. And you will find this works in all areas of life. Your work life, your friends and social life, even with your family life. When you have boundaries, know what you want, discover the things you don’t want in your life, and you become clear on your expectations right out the gate. It becomes very clear who is for you and who is against you. And let’s face it, we want to lose all those individuals who want to knock us down, change us, or make us feel less then or awkward about our own beliefs.

So if you are struggling in and out of relationships that only end with you starting over and having to rediscover yourself, my advice to you would be “discover who you want to be and become that person before you meet THAT PERSON”.

If you are in a place of confusion and want to learn how to discover yourself amidst your mess, check this out! You won’t be disappointed. I may still be single after 7 years, but it is for one, by choice, and two, I would much rather be single then settled! I don’t invest in people or things that make my life unhappy, boring, inadequate, or keep me from reaching my full potential and living my best life. And neither should you!

THE SECRETE TO OVERCOMING ADDICTION FOREVER (Part 1)

August 6, 2019October 5, 2025CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Part 1 | The Mindset

The Addiction Journey

Let me please first start by saying to those who are actually hear seeking help and concern for a loved one, thank you for taking the time to read this article. It means the world to me that you found my blog and I hope you find value in something here today! Yes, I know I am going to get a lot of slack for this article, but I honestly don’t care anymore! I am not here for those who don’t want to believe in change, I am here for those who NEED to believe change is possible! And not just Change but transformational change! Let me just add that I have “Been there done that” on both sides of the spectrum, so I come from a place of hard love, but TRUTH! Besides you don’t have to read this article, there are others out there that will patronize you with their “medicine, degrees, and book smarts”! That is no me! I am an honest individual who writes based on personal experience and through trial and error of life’s messy influences, I have overcome many obstacles. Some things include, sexual, physical, and mental abuse, homelessness, jail, in and out of shelters, and even went into hiding from my attacker which led to my addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Not everyone will resonate with me or my concept and that’s okay. I am used to people not understanding me. (Giggles) Maybe you understand the process that most addicts go through. Maybe you have a friend, family member, or loved one who is fighting an addiction right now. Or maybe you lost someone to substance abuse due to an addiction. Let me first say I am sorry for you lose. I have lost many and I am certain I will lose many more to the illness. But there is hope for change! My mission is that through my own experience I can share my journey and it will cause a ripple effect of that change. A change on how we look at addition so that we can treat it differently! We need to do better! Either way we look at it, you are reading this because the title caught your attention and if you are wondering if there is a way to actually “OVERCOME ADDICTION FOREVER”? I am here to tell you YES! Yes, we can overcome the label of addiction and we can live normal happy lives. Actually, we can overcome anything and everything, including addictions but we must be willing to look at it through a new lens and do some things different.

I can say this with full confidence because I HAVE DONE IT! So, for those of you who will read this and want to throw your “un-belief” systems, professional scholars, and medicine” at me, go right ahead! Because I have overcome all kinds of abuse, and I will overcome your nasty, opinionated, comments as well! I am not actually here for you anyway! Like I said, I am here for those who NEED to Believe! Not here for those who live in doubt, fear, and are incapable of understanding the power of wisdom and mindfulness!

Real Help for Addicts

I know it’s not easy admitting we need help, or facing our difficult situations, but if you are still here, you have a purpose and there is more for you. Let’s make a difference in your life, your family’s life, and in the life of those who suffer from across the nation. So, to start I want to begin with some obvious facts about addiction that keeps addicts not only stuck in addiction but never really living life they feel is “normal”.

Facts that keep you stuck in Addiction

“Recovery” keeps us in Recovery forever. Call it a “bad habit” instead, and really overcome it. Move on! (Easier said than done, I know)
Mindset is everything. You’re living in the old life. As long as the person you were exists, you’ll never Live as a new person in a new environment, with a new life.
You feel sorry for yourself. (Constantly Blaming others and not facing your issues keeps you in a state of making “excuses and justifying” your addictions)
You keep thinking and saying your life is too hard! (Remember someone else always has it harder and they get through it)
You make excuses! Once you decide to change your life, you have to stop making excuses “why you can’t live life”!
You’re not thankful for your life and the opportunities that you DO have available to you right now. (Fill up with Gratitude)
You keep dwelling on the past and on the shit that pisses you off! Learn something new, love today, Let go of the past and Let GOD guide you to new paths!
You must step forward if you ever want to move ahead. (Do something different than before)
SUCK IT UP! Life is hard sometimes, we all have hard times, learn from it, grow from it, and discover new ways because of it.
You are not mindful of your own thoughts, emotions and actions. Become aware of the body, mind, soul connection.
Stop worrying about everyone else! Focus on YOU!!! And ONLY YOU!
Learn to Date yourself before you date someone else. (Get to know yourself and learn to love yourself first and foremost)
“Be single not settled” (Know what you want before you settle for what you don’t want)
Don’t make any big decisions. Don’t make big purchases unless it’s to help you learn grow and expand in a healthier environment.
Express the expectations you have for others. (But remember to Do what YOU say, and say what YOU do)
You give up to easily on the things YOU want. Shit is hard, deal with it and push forward but don’t give up so easily!
Stop listening to the belief systems that are contrary to your inner beliefs
Discover your new path that excites you.

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By doing all the above you allow yourself to begin healing. You then become more aware and capable of making better decisions moving forward. When you become your OWN person, your belief system works for you and your purpose in life, Bringing you complete joy, happiness and abundance. Here is the kicker that I have learned about addiction centers. “They say they want to help us ‘recover’, yet the word alone keeps our mental state in “recovery” forever”. And I know many of you don’t want to go to the meetings and be reminded of yur addiction week after week, year after year. If you don’t get right in your head, you will be stuck in a place where people are constantly looking at you like “you’re the problem”! Instead of getting to the actual source to overcome it completely you will be fighting with people who don’t care to know the real you! Don’t get me wrong. I’m not totally “anti-rehab center’. I just have my own system to overcome addiction by eliminating words that distort the mindset. And the process to actually “overcome” addiction is less complex than most people make it. I can tell you this, most addicts don’t want to just live life as a “recovering addict”. The label sucks and it keeps us stuck thinking of our past personality, our past environments and always talking about our past traumas. That is not fixing anything, and it dam sure is not helping anyone overcome addiction, depression, manic behavior or helping them live a happier more fulfilled life. My system is not for everyone, and that is okay!

Get my system and help beat addiction today!!!

I am one person I don’t have the means or time to help everyone. I am not trying to change the entire world. That would be nearly impossible. But I do believe I can change a small piece of the worlds puzzle. The pieces filled with people who feel unique and different and want to belong and not just exist. “Nobody wants to exist in this world without purpose and meaning”. No one wants to just exist feeling stuck living in other people’s beliefs systems. Isn’t that why we are screaming through social media, protesting and causing havoc right now? No one person was created to live life uncomfortable and unknown! And so, not everyone has to like what I say but we should all be open minded to hear what others have to say. If I can resonate and impact one life and that life goes on to help another, then I have not only made my ripple effect into the world to make it a better place, but I also felt loved, in unity with another human. I felt appreciated and special because I helped another, person. I didn’t’ feel neglected because of my trauma but instead I used it to help others overcome or avoid it completely. I didn’t feel alone in my thoughts, ideas, or emotions. because I got vulnerable, and someone said “YES YES! I FEEL THAT! I HEAR THAT! I RESONATE WITH THAT!” And that is what every single individual wants right now. Right? Not just addicts or the mentally ill, but all humans crave empathy, compassion, and acceptance.

For those of us that have always felt special, unique, and different it is important that we learn to accept ourselves before we allow the world to make us feel unworthy because we are different! Because that is where addiction begins. Some of us find it easy to make it day to day with our daily struggles, while others choose to destroy themselves in the struggle. I have lost so many friends, family, and loved ones due to this “addiction” label! And the many other Labels that keep people abandoned and mistreated. Today, I am DONE! I am just done being quiet! And I’m done watching so many loved ones die because they are being labeled! I am done watching this world divide us because of our differences. WE ALL BLEEED RED! It doesn’t have to be this way! We can all be different and live a happy and fulfilled life in the same world! It is a choice! It’s a mindset!!!!

I don’t understand how I Made it through without rehab, and other people didn’t make it a year out of rehab! Yet they went to the professionals! They went to the meetings! They took the medications! And Here I am, and they’re gone! I don’t understand why so many people keep doing the same thing over, and over again, knowing the success rate of addiction is not getting better! As doctor Joe Dispenza says, “This is not the time of just knowing, this is the time to be doing”! There is too much information out there right now, for us to be doing the same damn thing, year after year, trying to get better results! Most rehab centers are lacking! Let’s start doing better! Let’s start listening to the people who know better! The people who have been through it. Let’s stop shutting out other options and start listening to all the different ideas of those who have taken the journey. Stop underestimating the power of the mind and medicating everything! You know chemicals cause reactions so why do we continue to medicate and cause more of an imbalance before we even clean out the system completely of all toxins? And I mean the exterior and interior! Let’s try harder to find a common denominator with addiction so that we can pinpoint the problem before it happens! Let’s take a journey together and learn how to beat addiction and overcame it FOREVER! Let’s work harder to remove all addictions from our life and learn to be mindful of our thoughts, emotions, and actions so that we can avoid and prevent bad habits like this one. We are capable of coming up with a solution so we can avoid “overdoses” from happening in the future.

Are you aware that most addictions begin when life throws something at us that we are unable to manage, cope or deal with? We basically pick up bad habits like drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, and the like, to numb ourselves from our own reality! That’s right! We act out by doing things that numb us mentally, emotionally, and physically from the events that are happening in life. If we can acknowledge that, we can limit the addiction rate by teaching our children to cope with their issues at a younger age. We must start a new cycle by teaching our children awareness. However, awareness must start with the parents first! The home is where we listen, learn, observe, experience, and build belief systems. When we are not mindful of these things and we just live in a state of “going through the motions”, these things define our character and determine the paths we take in life.

Maybe we should begin this journey with “awareness” for people to be better parents so that the children can learn how to cope with life. Then again it should probably start with the parents, right? As parents are the ones that should be leading their children without the dependency on substance abuse, or any other bad habits that can become addictions. Parents should lead their kids to experience proper skills for how they should properly manage life when struggles come along. Listen, life is going to happen! That is just LIFE! You can be 100% certain life will come down on you at some point!

But without being faced with bad or difficult times, you wouldn’t even know what good even looks like! I hate to break it to you, but you must learn how to maintain yourself during the ups and downs of your own journey through life! Life is not going to be unicorns and rainbows all the time! That is fantasy world, and the fact of life is this, sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to know where we want to go! Your personal journey would have no balance without the GOOD AND BAD experiences! If it was all good, you would never have a reason to push forward into newness! Yes, I said “NEWNESS”! Don’t you want to have new experiences, new relationships, new environments, and a new life?

If you never experience anything different you will never experience anything new. How do you think humans learn and grow? We experience life, good and bad, and we become stronger for it! How about we try to find solutions to our struggles with more poise, instead of getting angry, depressed, or frustrated. By acting out we are placing a label on ourselves and as we go through life, and when we do that, we give permission for “the professionals” to call us clinically depressed, bipolar, manic, an addict, etc. And we end up with labels placed on us based on our behavior. Society says, “just give them prescription medications” (drugs). Which keep us unfocused, loopy, and completely unaware mentally, spiritually and physically”. I say, “become aware of your environment, your circumstances, your conditions, and yourself ‘mentally, spiritually, and physically and learn to love all that you are”. Love all the messy parts of yourself and all the blessings you’ve already received, because it makes you who you are!

My past addiction is not even something I think about anymore. Accept when I am trying to feed into someone who is in recovery or currently in their addiction. Today, I can actually go out and have a drink and live a normal life without thinking I am going to have a relapse! I never worry about relapsing and my family is not worried about me overdosing or getting back on drugs when my life gets a little difficult! Adversity is part of life; we are all going through something. Regardless of what “the professionals” teach us, addiction is just a bad habit, and habits can be broken! Like the habit of working too much and not paying attention to your kids. Or using your phone too much and not even being present with the people who you say you love! Or continuously lying to your loved ones because you gambled all your bill money away. So, if anyone tells you that it’s a disease and it can be treated but not cured, they’re lying!!! Your addiction is a bad habit and habit can be broken!

I think alcohol and drug use is the culprit of most illnesses like aids, STDs, HIV, and many other diseases. I don’t believe it has anything to do with race color or ethnicity. Unless we are talking about statistics based on an individual’s beliefs. I am not going to talk about that right now. For that sake of this article, I am sticking to topic, which is addiction. So, what I do believe is that depression, psychological disorders, and trauma cause people to resort to drugs, alcohol, and other substance abuse, and addictions. So, there is a cycle that we ignore in “addiction”, and that is, they are just people with a bad habit caused by some trauma or underlining issue they have not learned to manage or cope with. BOTTOM LINE!!! Why do we treat the use of drugs and alcohol as a disease with more drugs? It makes no sense to me!

One Solution to Overcoming Addiction

Let’s lose the label altogether and treat these people as regular human beings with just a “bad habit”. They are choosing to live a lifestyle that they have become accustomed to for some reason. And as a friend, family member or professional therapists, our only job is to help them overcome this addiction by helping them discover their WHY. That way we can help them learn the HOW to stop! And please, when they want help, they will send signs and ask for help and that is when we should help. But I guarantee most families had a chance to help early on and failed to listen! Because people don’t listen anymore! They’re too busy talking listening to their own voice. Everyone is out for themselves, and everyone is so quick to judge others without looking in the mirror at their own reflection. Many people have become selfish, greedy, power hungry, narcissists who don’t listen to their loved ones. They sit back and judge them when they don’t agree with a specific belief system and yet, they refuse to listen, and I mean really listen! This behavior has gotten so out of control because poeple don’t see the signs of a person crying for “HELP” before they progress into something dangerous or into unhealthy habits! So instead of friends, family, and professionals helping these individuals, we unintentionally make the problem worse. When we pretend everything is fine it only allows more time for our problems to fester and build! Making people feel like their thoughts, feelings, and emotions are abnormal is a dysfunctional way to treat someone to make change. And maybe they are completely dysfunctional. I have had some dysfunctional thoughts myself back in the day. But for that same reason, instead of me seeking help, I chose to save myself and almost died in the process!

The divine will catch you when you fall
but you must be the one to get up!
Christina Ditzel

Continue to Part 2 | “How to overcome addiction”. Where I will go over step-by-step instructions to overcome addiction. I will give you simple steps for the addict, and for family, friends and professionals to discover new ways of helping these individuals. Because at the end of the day, EVERYONE has changes to make. Not just the addict!

If you need more advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, and follow me on social media. You can find my PODCAST at ZEN LENZ MEDIA ON SPOTIFY. or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Living in abundance is a lifestyle choice…

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“Peace of Mind, Protection, and Care for Your Home”

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Tag emotional healing