Are you feeling less then enough? Does your life suck and stay the same year, after year? Do you know why? Because of one simple common denominator…YOU! You don’t see your perfection in your imperfections! If you don’t get this, I promise you will be here next year looking up the same type of articles looking for solutions to all your problems. I get it, I’ve been right where you are and there are so many seasons that come back around to make me reflect and redefine myself. So, while you read on, please don’t for one second think that I am judging you or being opinionated. I am just very familiar with the cycle of playing the comparison game and zooming in on my imperfections.

We get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we never find our own perfection in our imperfections. Actually, you are perfect because of your imperfections! If you don’t listen and start DOING something different today, I guarantee next year you will be sitting in the same place trying to figure out why your life still sucks! If you are not happy with your job, your relationships, your health, your financial situation, your living arrangement, your shitty car, or anything in your life, listen up! Because today, you could change your life forever!

I know you don’t want to hear this, but the real reason your unhappy is simple…YOU! You don’t see anything good in your life, you complain about all the things you don’t have in your life, you don’t think YOU need to change or do anything, and you have literally convinced yourself that everyone else is the problem. Well, I hate to break it to ya’, but the truth is, YOU are the reason you’re not happy, and YOU and your thoughts are the reason you are so miserable! It is time to hold yourself accountable and own up to your part!

Getting in the right Mindset

You have a mindset that says “everyone else is the problem”, so you don’t even see your own flaws long enough to adjust your approach to life. You sit dwelling on all the things wrong in life and never see the good in anything. If you ever want a life that doesn’t suck, you need to do these 3 things…..

1. You need clarity
2. You need some new ideas
3.  And you need to see things through an entirely different lens, starting TODAY!

When we “THINK” everyone else is the problem, or that everyone else has it better or easier than we do, we never look thought a lens that is clear. It is foggy and the reflection in the mirror is covered with ego. We don’t focus our attention on our own thoughts, our own emotions, or our own actions, and that is a real issue.

See what happens is, you focus all your energy on complaining about the people around you and yet, you don’t even realize that you are the one that is unhappy! There is something deep down under the surface that you are not facing, and other people are triggering these emotions in your subconscious mind with their words and actions. How can you sit and gossip or complain about anyone else when you can’t even sit with yourself long enough to determine the things that hurt you and why they hurt you?

Even the people who cut you off on the road, you get so upset at them, and yet, they could be rushing to the hospital because they just got a call that their kid is dying. And all they want to do is go save their kid or at least get to say goodbye. You don’t know what other people are going through and it’s not your job to worry about them. You are only responsible for your own life. You need to worry about yourself first and focus on all the good in your life. You need to dig deep into your life and figure out why you act and react the way you do on a daily basis, Until you start having some real appreciation for your own life, stop blaming other people for your problems. Because only YOU can make or break your life!

You are responsible for your life!

When you wake up in the morning, do you even smile when you realize you get another day? Do you kiss the guy or girl laying next to you? Do you go and say good morning to your kids, do you get up and make yourself and or your family a healthy breakfast? Like, where are your thoughts when you wake up first thing in the morning? And the same for your evening. What do you go to bed thinking about? What do you leave your family thinking about before they go to bed?

“Where your thoughts go your energy flows”

Your mind should be focused on you and your own life. Do those people have some hold on you that you feel the need to allow everyone else to have control over your thoughts, feelings and emotions? Do you mean to tell me that you don’t even appreciate your life enough to “Think on It”? That other people and their life is more important than you, your spouse, your kids, your job and your life? No! I don’t believe that for one minute!  

If all you can do is think about other people and how they have issues, or how they effect you, maybe it’s time to reflect on what’s going on under the surface, don’t you think? Maybe you complain because other people have what you don’t have and that is only because you are not willing to put in the work that they did. So, let me help you see through a new lens. You hate your own life but you don’t want to take the actions necessary to change it? WHY? What is under the surface that is holding you back from creating a better life yourself? Or maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit or enough thought. So, instead you waste your mind thinking about other people and their drama induced lifestyles? Yea, how’s that working for you? Again, you have to take back that energy that you give to everyone else, and give it to yourself. You are worth it!  

And here is another thing, you can’t help other people, if you can’t even help yourself! Listen, you can’t know better if you are not doing better! You don’t get to tell other people how they should live their life or complain about other people brining drama to you, if you’re allowing it! You are not doing anything different. So, when you can’t get right in your own life, you can’t give advice. If we are not being mindful of our own growth and our own mental state, we try to use any tactic to take the attention off of us. And that included, complaining about everything else around us. If you are not breathing, living, proof of the light, you can’t talk about the light! It makes you a dictator. And no one likes a dictator! You can’t lay down rules for someone else, that you don’t follow yourself. It’s just wrong on so many levels. And if you are a parent and you’re doing this, STOP IT NOW! Get right in your own life, then lead your children by “being the example”!

Look, the most inspirational individuals in life are those who express their true essence by admitting their flaws and encourage us to embrace ours. If you can’t own up to your own mistakes, you never learn from them, and you never acknowledge why you do them in the first place. And until you realize “WHY” you do these things, you can’t ever make peace with them, and you won’t ever move past them. If you ever want to experience a life of fulfillment, you need to make peace with yourself, (all your past events, mistakes and actions), accept yourself as you are now and when you fall short, and understand that “you CAN seek perfection in your imperfections”.

There is “perfection” in “im-perfection”

I became who I am TODAY, by accepting all my “imperfections” as things that make me “perfect” in who I want to be TOMORROW. So, I don’t focus on who I was or even who I currently am, but rather who I want to be. Of course, I had to reflect on my past to understand my thoughts and why I act and react the way I do. But once I broke through the surface, I was able to rise above it! Looking through a lens of weakness, gave me strength for an opportunity to make peace with my imperfections. I was able to move past my mess, and continue through life striving for a better version of myself. I am a better mother, a better daughter, and I am a better friend for it. NO I am not perfect by any means, but I strive ALWAYS for a better version of myself. I always want to be “BETTER NOT BITTER”!

Furthermore, because I am aware that my mess no longer “defines me”, I am very mindful that my mess continues to help me “find me”. If I never opened myself up to the possibilities of being an “imperfect person”, I wouldn’t know what my perfect self even looked like. There would be nothing to compare myself to accept other people. By not owning up to our mistakes in our own life, we limit ourself from learning how to become a better version of ourselves. And as a result, we stay stuck in trying to be like everyone else and never find our true essence.

Agin, I am not saying I am perfect! I am not saying to strive for perfection! Trust me, I know I am far from perfect, and we will kill ourselves striving for perfection. We all know there is no such thing as a “perfect person”. So, lose the stigma of perfection, but allow a little grace.

We must be aware that if we are working on all the things we don’t like about ourselves, we are always going to be working towards a better version of “me”! And when we strive for a better version of “me”, we don’t seek acceptance from outsiders, and we don’t need other people’s approval. We just need to be our authentic, happy, self, and as a result, we will attract the same kind of authentic happy people! Because at the end of the day, where your energy flows your energy goes! So, if your energy is happy, peaceful and loving, you will attract happy, peaceful, and loving people. If you are toxic, gossipy, and broken, you will attract toxic, gossipy, and broken people.

So how? How do we live happy about our life? How can we end the drama, stress, anxiety, worry and fear? How can we get our minds to focus on good things and stop being victims of all the messy things? How can we stop focusing our energy on outsiders and embrace our unique self?

6 tips to help you thrive and become your authentic, happy, self.

1. Write it down. Write down everything you want, and everything you don’t want in your life. (Face the past, the mess, and crap you don’t talk about. Find out why you attracted those things in the first place and recognize them, so you don’t bring them into your future)
2. Don’t do it alone. Find a mentorship you can trust and good people to walk with you into the next season of life. You must have people who you can go to just to vent, get advice from, and get clarity when you are clouded and can’t make rational decisions.
3. Do things that help you get grounded. Do you enjoy gardening and nature? Being outdoors can help you stay grounded. (Beach, park, nature, earth, hiking, biking, and anything that keeps you in balance, moving, and focused)
4. Seek your true essence. Do things that bring joy to yourself, “by yourself”. Do something you love, and something you can do alone (do something without distractions that YOU love and avoid influence from the outside world).
5. Exercise and eat healthy foods. Your health and mental state are important. Clarity can only come when you are healthy mentally and physically. (Good food stimulates the brain function and helps maintain high energy).
6. Build a firm foundation. Faith keeps us strong and moving forward with purpose so that we never fall too far behind when life gets difficult or messy.

These tips may seem simple and silly, but they are helpful. If you want a better life you need to know what “better” means to YOU! By writing it down you will know what you want, and what you don’t want in and out of your life. You can’t determine the things you want or don’t want if you don’t sit and visualize the reality of what it was and what it is now. Just letting your mind wonder off on its own is not healthy, and it is not giving you clear space to identify what areas of your life you need to adjust. When you write it down you are forced to focus your mind and energy on a specific area, and that is when the magic happens. “Allow vision and creativity to manifest”, and a new life and purpose is established.

“You are perfect in your imperfections,

 But you must accept your imperfections,

To see your perfections!”

Christina Ditzel

So, to conclude this article, go through the list above and write it down. You must get a visual of what you want. If you don’t want your life to suck anymore, you must turn to things that don’t suck the life out of you. Instead turn to things that give life to you! Persevere in the things that light you up inside. Think on things that make your heart smile, that get you excited for tomorrow, and that brings a joy to every part of your being. Do things that make you feel happy, fortunate and blessed. Be around people who lift your spirit and elevate your soul. Work harder for the things that you want, and spend less time on the things that are distracting you and holding you back.

May you find the peace and love that lives in your soul, because when you do, your light will shine so bright it will begin to make changes that will make this world a better place to live.

“Have a Desire for life,

So that others may see what it means to have a LIFE”

Christina Ditzel

If you need more advice in other areas of your life, please comment below, join my channel on YouTube, or just grab my book “Hot mess to totally blessed” on Amazon Today. This is how you begin your journey into an abundant life. Living in abundance is a choice…

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Thank you in advance for all your participation, support, and encouragement.