Do Your Words Match Your Character (Part 2)


The Gift of Grace

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GIVE YOURSELF GRACE & PICK UP YOUR MAGIC CARPET

I decided to stand tall in my faith way too late in life. But still, at the end of each day I’m faced with the reality, that is my story. This is called LIFE!  I am the only one that can answer for all my mistakes or all my miracles! I have to decide each day to “be the main character” in my story and I have to remain “in character” throughout the story. Because let’s be honest, no hero in a movie wants to go out as a coward! And I am no different!

In order to remain in character, you must stay true to yourself. I had to make some choices. Hard ones! Some easy ones! Sometimes I had to choose between My way or God’s way! And God offers a lot more Grace than we give ourselves! Bottom line! It is disciplined and enlightening! I believe the foundation Jesus gave us is a beautiful example that shows us the pathway to happiness. He gave us the key that opens the door to a life filled with amazing experiences! A life filled with people, communities, culture, instructions, messages, and yes sometimes lessons that may hurt a little. But they are there to help you grow your character!  I promise! Nothing bad comes into your life without it being an opportunity for something greater ahead!

In the same way He became the example for us to follow him, we are to be the example so that others may find their way to Him too. It’s not our job to scream, yell, shout, force or dictate our beliefs to others, just to encourage and lift people up when they are down! Your character becomes infectious. When we experience a feeling of freedom by discovering a foundation that helped us create the pathway to that freedom, we become happier and healthier people living life compelled to share the stories that lead us here. The Word is free and there is Freedom in the word! You just need to give yourself the gift of Grace in the process. That doesn’t mean you keep doing the same things over and over. NO! You Recognize your weaknesses, you stay far away from the people or things that keep you weak, and you engage yourself with new tasks that give you strength. I am not perfect or better than anyone else. In fact, I mess up a lot! But when I mess up or get off track, I give myself grace, pick my magic carpet back up, learn to have self-control, and then I get a handle on myself so I can do better next time around. And season after season I do this so that I can consistently learn more about the character in my story. Getting to know yourself in a deeper way is the most magical journey in life you will ever take!

PICK UP YOUR MAGIC CARPET AND MOVE FORWARD

If you want to start reading the bible, and I would advise that you do, start with the book that brings you encouragement! It’s all good but the book of John Chapter 5 tells an amazing story that just hits me no matter what season of life I am in. It is a book of encouragement for an eternal life and discovering your identity. It is an easy read too so that helps! Here is the short version of John chapter 5 which is where I discovered my magic carpet analogy.

“So, Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Jewish feast. There was a pool called Bethesda which people would go to for healing of illnesses, disabilities, blindness, and other amazing miracles. That day a certain man was there which had an infirmity for thirty-eight years. 6When Jesus saw him, and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, do you want to get better? The man answered him, Sir, I have no one to help me to the water, to put me into the pool: while I am going, another person goes down before me. Jesus replied to the man, “Rise, take up take your mat, and walk”.

Ugh, That, just moves me so much! The man picked up his mat, walked away and was healed. 38 years of illness gone, just like that! However, the story doesn’t end there. A bunch of drama happens because Jesus did this on the Sabbath, but for the sake of this blog, I will keep it short. Here is another point people miss. So, Jesus sees this man later on that day and said, “Your healed now go and don’t sin no more” Like dude! “DON’T SIN NO MORE”. How do people miss this? We all interpret the bible differently. I get it! Some people take it literally others base it on their own circumstances. However, in every season of life we get thrown into different situations and that means our interpretations of what we read will change too. This is called WISDOM! If we are self-aware and willing to GROW & CHANGE in each season, we will expand our mind with wisdom, and enthusiasm for a life filled with experiences. Furthermore, if we share our experiences with humility, we end up finding pleasure in our own journey just by teaching, encouraging, and uplifting others. Just as Jesus did with this man and many, many others he came to know during his walk and throughout his life.

TO THE POINT!

The point is this, we can choose to pick up our Cross, our Magic Carpet, our Mess, or our flesh, whatever you wish to call it! But each, and every single one of us must be held accountable for the words we use, the people we trust into our life, and the actions we take every moment of every day. If we don’t want the same burdens year after year to occur, we must be aware of our own words and the actions we take daily!

So, I ASK, DO YOUR WORDS MATCH YOUR ACTIONS? How many of us talk a good game but the things we say are not a reflection of the character we represent? We change the way we walk, talk, and act, when we are around certain people, on social media, or in certain social groups. We camouflage ourselves to fit into the trends! But the truth is, we’re not even happy acting like that, and our magic carpet is taking us on a constant roller coaster ride. Which is our life, constantly spiraling out of control!  When you mess up or get off track in any area of life, you need to be aware of your surroundings and your own actions. This way you recognize danger when it tries to come back around a second time.

 

Use your “magic carpet” to help you recognize the red flags before you do something you don’t really want to do. Do you not understand that you carry yourself with you everywhere you go? When we get this, we find the strength to pick up our carpet and get a handle on ourselves, so we can fly off before we do the thing we will regret! It’s okay to give yourself some grace because you’re learning to sustain yourself with healthy boundaries! But please listen, we can only give ourselves so much grace! When we pick up our “magic carpet” with all our past mistakes, all our illnesses, all our mess, and all our bad choices, we can embrace the blessing that comes with letting go and have self-control moving forward! Can you contain yourself alone? We MUST let go and let God take the wheel sometimes, or we will never know self-control!

In this season of “Pick up our magic carpet (all our words, all our actions, all the people, and everything we’ve been carrying around with us our whole life) Pick it all up, means having a little grace for ourselves, and knowing when to walk forward and not look back. I believe for some of us, if we do this, God will give us the key to the door that will lead us to unusual acceleration in this next year! As I go through life in my own learning phases, discovering the main character of my own story, I am compelled to share with you my struggles, my wins, and my losses. My hope is that these foundations can be witnessed through my journey of discovering who I was, who I am, and who God knew I would be. Maybe by sharing my truth, you’ll be able to discover the main character in your own story too! Because I truly believe there is a hero in each, and every single one of us!

“We just have to trust our own paths, pick ourselves up, and decided to

take an extraordinary journey to unordinary places”.

CREATING YOUR MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE CREATING YOUR OWN FAIRYTALE

Just like the fairy tale of Aladdin, the “poor boy”, or “street urchin” who created his dream life. But it all started when he got on his magic carpet, took a princess out of her normal environment, and then showed her the world through a new lens. Maybe in this season, Jesus wants to show you, your life through a new Lens too.  What if we didn’t just go through the motions of life anymore? What if playing a character in everyone else’s story wasn’t enough for you anymore? What if all those people came into your life to show you the kind of character you don’t want to be, so you could become the main character of your own story? What if you read this article and it was the first of many signs and wonders for a whole new world ahead of you? Would you take up your magic carpet and go for an unfamiliar ride to unordinary places? 

If you got this far into this blog post, I hope you can give yourself some grace today and let go of the things that happened yesterday. Pick yourself back up and go on an extraordinary journey and do it for yourself not to impress others! It’s okay to carry all the crap with you, you need to bear some of the burden of your own mistakes, and carry the carpet that holds all your secretes, all the guilt, all the shame, all your bad habits, and all the people and things you regret, so you can recognize them in the future. YES! Absolutely there will be a burden placed on us all when we are rebuilding up our character! But the burden will be light as time goes on because you will recognize patterns of people and read the red flags that are there to warn you along the way. But you have to allow the holy spirit to guide the way and stop trying to do it all on your own strength.

IN CONCLUSION

Remember this, “our burden comes from what we over-come, and we overcome only the burdens we are willing to face head on”. See I think if we are ever going to get our words to match our character, we need to remember where we’ve been and have some idea of the kind of life we want to live. Whether we are a mess or blessed, we will always have to leave room for learning and growing as our character changes from season to season! Struggles will always come and go constantly throughout our life, as we experience the trials and tribulation of unexpected events that we have no control of. However, reflection on one’s own life, is not only healthy, but also essential to walk a life worth witnessing. So, the next time you get upset because you messed up, did something you hate, or maybe jumped off track temporarily, remember to give yourself some grace. Pick your carpet and yourself back up, learn to have self-control, and then get a handle on yourself so you do better next time. You can do better next time, every time! Year after year progressing into the heroic genius you were created to be, as the main character in your own story!

Do Your Words Match Your Character? (Part 1)


Holding yourself accountable for the words you use, the people you trust, and the actions you take!

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THE PEOPLE YOUR AROUND IMPACT YOUR CHARACTER

Let me start by saying this, “there are just some people you need to eliminate from your life”! The people we surround ourselves with are a direct reflection of who we are, and that is usually who we don’t want to be! There are some people, that we know are not good for us or our character and yet we allow these people to have a hold on us, and we don’t know why. You know the people I’m talking about! Every time you’re with “this person” or “those people” a feeling of regret overwhelms you, or you end up frustrated, stressed, and upset with yourself for not saying the thing, or making better choices when you’re with them. Staying away from such people is the only way to live life free from all that guilt and shame you carry around with you. It will give you space to move into a life filled with grace and mercy, for yourself and for others.

There comes a time in one’s life when we feel compelled to make choices that may not fit the views of those around us. But when we allow room to reflect, we leave space for wisdom and understanding about our own choices in life. To learn, grow, and change our spiritual walk, we must be willing to face the reflection in the mirror and walk different. In other words, we can stop doing (and saying) the things we hate, but we must change the way we think about life and view the world around us. We can start living a life that reflects the kind of character we want to be. And stop the role we play to appease everyone else who expects us to act a certain way. This truth (our true character) that lives inside of us is different for each of us, and we change in every season of life. Well, we should be changing and growing in every season of life! Please understand that! Get that last statement! Because when you know “your truth”, you don’t just build character, you become the main character in your own story! And that story becomes a God given life full of potential, opportunities, and unexpected blessings. If you want your words to match your actions, you must leave some people behind and out of your story! They can be there for a moment as a lesson for you, but don’t keep them around too long, because you will end up playing a victim role in their story! And as a result, you just end up being a villain in your own story or the main character in someone else’s! And that is not good if they are the one’s creating your character!

PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS

The red flags are always there for you to see! They come to you as feelings through emotions like discomfort, fear, anxiousness, and/or annoyance. In my case I would say it’s mostly annoyance! (Giggles at self for being annoyed that I allowed other people to get me out of character! ha, ha! Funny, not funny!) There are thoughts that come to mind before our emotions provoke us into action. But for some reason it’s easier to ignore the red flag and just go with the flow. Or just react to what seems familiar, just to make other people comfortable. So many of us end up doing the thing we hate most! We do things that will sometimes even hurt us later, and we do it just to please other people in the moment. This is a behavior many of us have adapt to and it’s become normal behavior for many of us. Mostly because religion tells us to be kind and courteous of others. I mean, of course that is a great value to have! But I am here to help you and say, “we have the power to take control of our own words and actions”! Which builds our character!

If this all sounds familiar to you and you get completely out of character around certain people, most likely your words don’t reflect your actions! You’ve probably become a gossiper, a liar, bitter, always stressed out, and you may have even lost good people in your life at the expense of pleasing people, who have ulterior motives. This becomes a problem for you, your character, and the lifestyle you live! If you don’t learn to read the red flags, get a handle on yourself, and have the ability to initiate boundaries, you will be headed for a dreadful story filled with drama, loss, anxiety, health issues, and so much more trauma!

Now, if you’re a church person or a religious person you were most likely raised with certain beliefs that inevitably dictates how you look at others and how you look at yourself. For example, I was raised Catholic with very restricted Lebanese family morals. Through my own choices (influenced by others that I allowed to control me), I left home at a young age. I lived a wildlife that led to unexpected trauma which eventually lead me to a personal relationship with the Trinity. (God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) Yes, I was introduced to God at a very young age, so it came back around later in life. But let’s make it very clear, “The standards I have for my life and my children’s life, are not equal to the restricted standards my parents held for me!”

I didn’t always believe in a purpose driven life. I just lived life going through the motions with no real awareness of myself, my surroundings, or the people I hung around. It wasn’t until I was affected by all the Red Flags that I ignored through the years, that I and ended up in Jail, homeless, and losing everything. Eventually when I realized no one was coming to answer my cry’s for help, I turned to God for real help. I now live as if every moment counts and every person who crosses my path was placed here with purpose. That is not to say every single person is meant to stay in my life. Some people are meant to give a message to me or to get a message from me. While others may be in my life for long seasons others may be with me for a lifetime. Either way, we all go through certain experiences, and we are all on our own journey! However, the faster we read the red flags, the faster we get back on track, and in the main character of our own story! Your personal growth and life depend on how well you recognize the red flags of distraction that come into your life! So, pay attention to those red flags and get a handle on your reaction to them.

GET A HANDLE ON YOURSELF

To overcome different trauma or different circumstances you must change the way you handle yourself. It is imperative that we grow as individuals and become stronger for all the amazing things we desire in life. What does YOUR story say about you and YOUR character? The only way to grow as a person is to learn new behavior and change old ones. The key here is to learn new behaviors, but to do that you must be held accountable for your own actions and stop blaming other people. You allowed these people into your life with all their red flags and toxic drama. You don’t get to blame them for your own idiocy year after year! You can only blame other people for your own actions once, after that its on you! You need to get a handle on yourself before you wreck yourself again and again.

THE FOUNDATION THAT FORMS OUR CHARACTER

How does one form a new character when we’ve been so impacted by others and hurt by so many things in life? Well, we decide to do all of the above, let’s recap

  1. We eliminate people
  2. We read the red flags  
  3. We hold ourselves accountable
  4. We build the foundation that forms our character

Number 4 is probably the most enjoyable of the list. When I think of the trauma and drama, I have been through in the past, and then I think of the things I desire in the future, I go back to the examples and lessons Jesus gave us throughout the bible. I try to keep His words with me as lessons, constructive criticism, accountability, boundaries, and a base structure for a healthy, happy walk through life. All the foundations you need are there in the bible, I promise! And it is different for each, and every one of us! I am well aware that I may losing some of you by bringing up the bible and Jesus’s talk! But just hear me out for just a one minute! The foundations we use to build our character is so important to the life we live moving into each chapter! If you want to see major change in the next season, I promise these four simple steps will change not only your perspective on life, but your entire role in this life!

What is important to you? When you can answer that honestly you will discover the point in time where your life meets pure enjoyment and pleasure in the journey! Many churchy people say we can’t enjoy life and a walk with God is nothing but pain, struggle, and spiritual warfare. But I am here to tell you those are all lies! Jesus was the coolest sneakiest dude in his day! He literally hid in the crowds and ran from psychopaths who He didn’t want to be around all the time!

I was not raised to have a personal relationship with Jesus, or even understand the foundations of the bible, but there were values I grew up that are in the bible. And there were values I grew up with that the bible warns us about too. Maybe you live by some of those foundations right now. I don’t know! But you’re reading this article and I do know this, “there are many of us who have been hurt by the church and by the beliefs of other people who manipulated and dictated” and now we’ve found ourselves acting and living in ways that are not conducive to the lifestyle we desire. If that is you, and you are uncomfortable in your own skin or struggling to find confidence in your own life, I am here to tell you, that “the foundation you build today will impact the character you become tomorrow”.

In fact, if you spend time alone and read the WORD and then take the instruction you get from it and use the foundations in your own life, you will see an instantaneous change in yourself, and miracles will begin to happen in your life daily! I can say this with full confidence because I have done life both ways. I have tried it following other people, I have tried it my own way, and I have done it Jesus’s way! Can I just say, His burden is so much lighter than the burdens of other people, and the burdens I placed on myself when I did what I wanted. The main character in YOUR STORY depends on the foundation you use to build good character traits. So, what does the main character in your story look like? Who are you? What foundation will you utilize to build your character?

TO BE CONTINUED…