Category Family & Relationships

Insights and advice on building stronger connections with yourself, your family, and in relationships — rooted in authenticity and growth.

This Generation of Memorization Lacks Feeling and Emotion

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

“Your life consists of using your small little brains to compute and hold information just long enough to pass the tests of society so they can get what they want from you”

Photo by Olya Prutskova on Pexels.com

IS THE REFLECTION YOU SEE YOUR OWN OR THE ONE SOCIETY IS PLANTING?

As a little girl I always struggled to learn in school. I loved lectures but hated reading material. I could sit in a classroom for an hour, read the chapters we were told to read, but I never remember what I just read. I felt stupid! I felt like it was so easy for everyone else but for me, I just couldn’t keep up. I went to special Ed Classes and still struggled to learn and keep up. Teachers told my mom that I was smart, but I was lazy. Truth is, I was never a lazy person, but I was always bored! School completely bored me, and I felt it lacked emotion from the people who were being paid to teach me. And unlike today’s generation, if I complained about a teacher, I would be the one reaping consequences. After years of attending tons of college courses, signing up for multiple programs, certifications, and attending way too many teacher parent conferences, I can tell you that it was never me who lacked the ability to learn. It was the fact that people lack emotion and humility for those they are communicating with.  

I hate this generation with all my being, and I pray that God gives me a humble heart to allow for people’s ignorance. I’ve learned too late in life, that the problem was not really me who couldn’t learn; it was how teachers taught and scholarly people were creating curriculum. I realized politics entered our education system from the very beginning and it has never been done for the good of the children or for the good of the people’s future. Our society lacks emotion and meaning behind education and always has! Although there are many articles out there on the internet of when the first school began, I can tell you this, girls were not allowed to attend school in early America. How does that work? Who and when did any one person get the right to decide what girls/women can and cannot learn? I am so sick of this division. We are ALL HUMAN BEINGS, and we should be treated as such. There should never be one person ruling over another, EVER! And Politics and religion should stay out of our education systems! It is not only causing war between families, cultures, and countries, but it is controlling and manipulative behavior. Since everyone’s views and beliefs are different and we can’t seem to get into alignment or agreement on any of those topics, they should not be allowed to dictate our individual future!

As children go to school, they are expected to pass tests to move forward. This logic is flawed! Tests that were created by one specific group of scholarly people who have political opinions and religious beliefs of their own. We get older and go to college as young men and women and we do the same thing. Listening to opinions and voices of everyone else. We assume or believe these people to be smarter and wiser than us because education says, “they are expected to be smart due to passing the test that gives them that printable paper degree”. We trust these people to give us knowledge so we can go on into careers with the knowledge we need to build the life we want. Right? WRONG!!! We all want the “American Dream”! While everyone’s dream is different, memorizing the material, passing the tests and then, and only then will we be allowed to move forward.  

Isn’t this how life has become? We are always chasing dreams and forced to pass someone else’s tests and if we fail their expectations we get held back! This society has become “live walking computers”! They push all the buttons they want, and we respond to whichever trigger they pull! No one has a mind of their own anymore and people are killing themselves because they feel lost, confused, and they don’t really fit in. Not fitting in and blending into everyone else’s bubble and beliefs is the New Age American Dream! One dream I for one don’t really care to invest in! Is the current reflection you see your own, or the one society is planting?

Turn off the noise and listen to the still small voice inside you

You may think you’re so great for being able to memorize test questions that may get you that job or promotion, but you lack something very important, “common freaking sense!”. And that my friend is having good judgment when dealing with others, and practicality to humble yourself in certain situations. This generation of memorization lacks emotions, humility, and kindness for all humans! And for this reason, I think we are headed for destruction if we don’t get a handle on it NOW! It has not only rubbed off on all generations now, but this mentality of memorizing material has moved into politics, our education systems, our medical fields, and even our churches! People don’t feel the need or desire to use their actual mind and physical being to learn from each other or take in new information. No! Instead, they use their small little brains to compute and hold information just long enough to pass the tests of society so they can get what they want from you. Fools do the speech that gets the views and likes, or they just cheat the system and buy them. Fools lead the conference that will get them the promotion and more money, but they leave the meeting and when asked questions they don’t remember what they just said. None of these fools know passion or kindness, and do you know why? Simple, because computers don’t care about people! “IT” only cares about algorithms, procedures, and systems. The noise you people listen to holds you back from your full potential. When you turn off the noise your desire for worldly things will diminish, your priorities will change, and your soul will sing with passion! Listen to that still small voice nudging at your soul.

Get your Passion and Priorities straight

Your memorizing lacks feeling and emotion and you’re only cheating yourselves. The medical field for example has many educated professionals. Nurses and doctors must go through extensive testing to get their high paying positions. I too have attempted the medical field and I can tell you that these students cheat and feel under pressure to pass tests! The passion is lost in school, and because the tests became the priority instead of saving a life, the medical field fails. You’ve lost your passion for people because the tests of life became your priority.

So, how can we get our passion back after we’ve lost our priorities? Here is where common sense comes in, “FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU PRIORITIZE AND WHY”! Figure out what you want in life. And not what google says you want! We all know money, fame, and fortune doesn’t freaking make us happy! Just look at all the millionaires, celebrities, and people from all walks of life killing themselves every day! Love and relationships can’t make you happy long term either! People change as fast as technology, so don’t depend on your current relationship to stay passionate; it won’t last long! Nothing in this world last because it’s constantly changing, and people change with it.

Truth is, while you change with this world, you’re constantly feel like you’re living outside of your own element. Do you ever wonder why that is? Easy, because you are just following everyone else’s priorities instead of chasing your own passions! The chase and eagerness for life is lost outside of you because you stopped connecting to your own truth and your own emotions. You feel lack because you don’t fit into the program’s society is creating for you. You need to create your own program! Chase your passions and your priorities will become straight.

What is your Passion

Passions are not material things of this world; passion is the feeling of emotions you honestly internalize within yourself. It comes from your perceptions of this world. The things you like or dislike, the things that are true to you but maybe not so true to others. The things you want to change and the things you want to bring attention to. It’s giving life to someone who feels death upon themselves and it’s creating something that makes them feel happy or inspired in that darkness. Passion is being connected to God and living in purpose beyond your own understanding. It’s a feeling of beauty but a sense of peace in all you do and all you see. It’s embracing the unknown experiences and being excited about the unexpected. Don’t be predictable! The world is predictable, but you are special. You are being called for something greater. Embrace it! Don’t fear that nudge in your chest because the world doesn’t have the common sense to see you. That nudge you feel in your heart is God calling you. You are being called for more than just a mediocre life that memorizes content, material, and procedures. Don’t be a computer that the world programs, be a human that tests the programs and explores life beyond it. Override your mental capacity by embracing your feelings and emotions. Thrive to care about the people who live in this world, but don’t just exist to force people to become computers who do what you expect.

I write because I don’t want people to feel stuck in life failing the tests of the world. Feeling like a failure is never fun! I know this because I’ve lived there. Following the rules of the people I allowed into my life feeling emotionless and lack. It’s my passion to help others discover themselves through a new lens because my priorities are not focused on gaining the things of this world. I want you to constantly be moving forward, so you can discover new priorities through your passions. By doing so you will show the world that feelings and emotions matter more than just passing the worlds tests. Our world was never created for one person to rule over another. We are not computers and we have been given the gift of FREE WILL! We were created to build a kingdom that looks like heaven on earth filled with people who love each other, not live in war with one another.

“SHE WENT THROUGH PAIN, REJECTION, AND ABUSE THAN SHE LEARN TO LOVE HERSELF & LOVE OTHERS, SO THAT THEY COULD LEARN HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES AND POUR OUT MORE LOVE CAUSING A RIPPLE EFFECT OF BLESSINGS INTO A BROKEN WORLD”

At What Age is Old enough? And Why Generations are so misunderstood?

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

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If you clicked this title your probably asking, “old enough for what?” Old enough to drink? To Drive? To Vote? To become an adult? What exactly are we talking about here? At what age is Old enough to do what? Some would say it depends on the country, while others would say it depends on the state laws. But my real question is “At what age does one become wise?”

Ya’ know, someone not so long ago, told my 19-year-old daughter that she would not be an adult until she was 25 years of age! Well, I don’t agree with that, per say!

First, if a person can vote at 18 years of age, and drink at 21 I would hope adults didn’t create a law that allowed children to vote or to drink. Because what good decisions could be made if children, were getting drunk and had majority vote? (This entire statement was sort of a joke but not, obviously!) When I think of our laws here in America, I do question the many decisions these so called “adults” have made over the years. Especially concerning our laws or state regulations. The truth is, I have met many 40- and 50-year-olds who are still living with child like mentality and have not gained any wisdom over the years. In fact, my 19-year-old and 14-year-old daughters are much wiser than many people over the age of 25.  Actually, I have seen many people I know personally wake up and do the same things day in and day out for the past 5, 10, or 20 years. Their life never changes and neither do their circumstances.

So, why are humans so hung up on age? Furthermore, at what age is old enough for one to realize “it is time”? Time to what? A time to do any of it! A time to vote, a time to drink, a time to drive, time to have kids, time to get married, a time to make better decisions, and how about a time to grow up!!! When is the right time for any of it? Especially when most of that stuff has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I mean why does age matter when all things come to an end anyway, right? I mean in reality, we all feel a little lonely at some point in our life, no matter what age we are. A moment of loneliness is inevitable.

The Truth Behind Loneliness

The human being must be the most complex species roaming our planet. In fact, sometimes I feel very alone, even when I am surrounded in a room full of people. Mostly when I’m around people who have closed minded ideas. In other words, no wisdom! I was raised with a Lebanese father in America, so I can tell you that feeling uncomfortable, not fitting in, and staying silent in a room full of people has become quite normal for me. But in a society where everyone is so outspoken and doesn’t really care who is in the room, it’s like we’ve lost all respect for ourselves, for others, and for boundaries. I’m used to blending in as a Lebanese female living in America. Keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut was the rule in my home growing up. I didn’t speak until spoken to and I had to always watch what I said and who I said it to! If I didn’t, there were consequences. Bottom line! Although, I know that is not the way of today’s society, I do think there are some lessons in life worth embracing.

As children we grow up with parents who have these rules, or no rules at all. And we try to fit in to our environments when we become a prime age of curiosity. We can either choose to run wild from too many rules, or we can run wild from not having any rules at all. On the other hand, we could become tamer if we have no rules, because we’ve experienced the temptations and turbulence of a life with no rules. Similarly, we can become too aware and too cautious later in life if we had too many rules. So, it just depends on our individual life experiences, the seeds that were planted into us throughout life and of course, the realties we create for ourselves.

Loneliness only comes from an emotion of not being in community with other like-minded individuals.

I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but there is a history book called the bible and it has many stories. In the very first story, called Genesis, the first time the creator says “it’s not good” is when He created man to be alone. Humans are not meant to be alone. In fact, no species of its kind in all of creation is meant to be alone. There is in fact Male and Female of every single species walking our planet today.  

Age is Just a Number Your Wisdom Determines Your Growth

I don’t know what your gender is, and I don’t really care to know! Especially since we are using way too many gender pronouns today. And if I am totally honest, my dispute on that could create an entire blog or maybe even a book! Which I have no time for right now! This article today was created to help those who feel like their age has literally defined their entire existence. I don’t believe our age should determine our life or our experiences, but rather our stages of life. I believe that the wisdom we gain throughout the years has more to do with growth then our age does. And I Believe that one can experience true growth at any stage of life through knowledge and wisdom. If you’re not learning, you’re not changing, and if you’re not changing, you’re not growing! It really is that simple!

Every single human being on this planet has experienced emotions such as pain, loneliness, contentment, and excitement. We have also experienced connection, love, passion, and joy. I can even go as far as to say that we have experiences loneliness in love and pain in things we once got pleasure from. I don’t care what anyone says, there is no material thing, no person, no experience more exhilarating in life then gaining wisdom. All love stories and relationships have an ending. Whether individually or mutually decided or by death, all relationships come to an end eventually leaving you in pain or feeling lonely. That is why we need to surround ourselves in “community” not alone with one or two in solitary but full communities.  Material things can break, get lost or taken away. People lose connections or die. People and things don’t last and there is always another thing or person to desire. The good emotions we carry around from people or things never last long. There are too many stages of life. And we all experience different stages at different ages!

But wisdom, that is forever! Growth never ends! There is always room for more growth in our human existence. No matter our age or our gender we can continue to learn and grow and get more knowledge. We can search for people and gain a moment of pleasure. We can search for things and gain a brief taste of excitement of something new. But when we search for Wisdom, “our cup runneth over” forever. There is no end, there is no limit, there is no age, and there is no loss when we gain wisdom.

So Why are We Misunderstood and What Age is Old Enough?

Generation after generation we have judged and been judged and misunderstood. If you’ve been feeling lost, scared, confused about life, stressed about your age, have people judging you based on your age, or just completely misunderstood by others, I would say don’t allow yourself to get too caught up with age! Age is just a number. Remember this, wisdom has no age limit, but there is joy, there is good judgment, protection, and in light of all life’s struggles, in gaining wisdom, there is understanding and an intelligence beyond human comprehension. When we gain a desire for wisdom, we gain life lived through a lens of perception. Awareness and discernment cannot be bought or purchased no matter how old you are. Behind wisdom is not an age, but rather a purpose and excitement for this beautiful thing we get to call life. There is no depression, no heartbreak, and no long-term trauma where there is wisdom! There is just an understanding of all things. Get wisdom and no matter what age you are, you will discover a life filled with so much emotion that your cup will overflow onto anyone you meet. You will be understood because you will have the knowledge to know when to speak and when not to. You will know who to connect with and what group of individuals to stay far from. You will know better in all situations because you took the time to get knowledge before the experience even happens. No matter a persons age or yours, you will be the one who will always have a knowing and understanding inside you, that is meant for only you. Being misunderstood because of age, is only from lack of knowledge to respond wisely to those around you. Because age is just the number of years you’ve journeyed here, your true view of life is in the Wisdom you gain in the journey.

“Get Wisdom and Gain a Great Life”

INFIDELITY and FORGIVENESS

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels.com

FORGIVENESS

The most talked about intention in the Bible and in our personal healing journey.

Let’s get very clear on what Forgiveness is not! Forgiveness does not mean enabling others to continue to hurt us. It does not give permission for others to disrespect us. And it definitely does not give permission for anyone to disregard our moral values!

INFIDELITY

Cheating is infidelity which is “the state of being unfaithful and disloyal”. BOTTOM LINE! Let’s stop sugar coating it! 

When we’ve been cheated on, we sit and ponder on all the questions in and on our mind! Most of us ask…”why didn’t I see the red flags sooner? Or how did I miss all the signs”? After those questions the self-doubt and uncertainty of our own worth begins to fester and kick into hard drive.  

Forgiveness at this point will come from one of two places 

One – “Somehow I didn’t do my part which caused my partner to cheat” 

Or 

Two – I overreacted with jealousy and hallucinated the entire thing…he never actually cheated. 

If that sounds all too familiar let me tell you this…

NO, YOU’RE NOT CRAZY! NO, YOU DIDNT HALLUCINATE THE WHOLE THING!  AND IF YOU ARE HAVING JEALOUS TENDENCIES, HE PUT THEM THERE AND GAVE YOU REASON TO FEEL THAT WAY. No one wakes up jealous or insecure. Something or someone placed that self-doubt and unworthy emotion into you. Whether something happened to you as a child or later in life, getting a handle on it and discovering why you are that way and how to release it, is an entirely different journey. Furthermore, you can’t and won’t ever truly forgive until you understand “your truth” and that looks very different for each of us.

Now, with all that said, let me be clear on one thing before I continue, “I do believe we should Forgive people who hurt us! BUT please hear me when I say, “Forgiveness does not mean we’re giving them permission to continue to use us as a doormat or manipulate us into tolerance”!

What is Forgiveness

Forgiveness has a lot of definitions on the web. But I am about to explain forgiveness through a biblical approach. No this is not meant to be religious, so don’t worry if that kind of stuff creeps you out or makes you uncomfortable in some way. Let me start by saying, I was with someone for 14 years and when he got a younger girl pregnant, I was devastated to say the least! However, I gave forgiveness to both of them. Her and I became friends and him and I co-parent our children better. (And no, they are not together anymore because he cheated on her too, so the cycle goes on. And no, her and I are no longer friends, but that is a whole other article! Maybe even a book! lol) I talk a little more about my story in my book “HOT MESS TO TOTALLY BLESSED” and I do offer more details on how I overcame our separation in that book, if you’re interested you can just go here.

So, what is forgiveness? As I previously mentioned the bible helped me to learn the process of “forgiveness” but it also gave me the opportunity to move on after infidelity! Forgiveness allows you to let go of a transgression, move on from infidelity and live happier and healthier with better relationships moving forward. But how? How do we forgive someone who hurt us by committing an immoral act? How do we forgive when infidelity leads us to a place of mistrust and keeps us questioning the motives of our partner?

How Do We Forgive a Cheater?

Well, we can start forgiving by knowing our own boundaries. Thats right! By knowing your own boundaries and understanding what you will and will not accept in a relationship, is super important to the type of people you attract and choose to date. You have to remember, you allow these people into your life, and you have a type! You know you do! So maybe it is time to change ‘your type’! And the only way to do that is to get to know yourself better!

Do you notice a pattern in the men you date? Should we as women think all men have just completely lost all respect for women? Or should we rethink how we date as women? Can I be honest for minute? Your attracting unhealthy relationships because you’re giving away too much too fast! Be honest, how do you dress? How do you act when you go out? How do you carry yourself? Do wait for a man to open the door for you and pay for a meal? Or do you open your own door and constantly offer to pay for dates? Do you allow the kind gestures he made in the first few dates to fade out? I get it, you don’t want to look like a gold digger or needy, and you want to be kind by offering to pay for the first date. YES! go ahead, offer to “help” with the first date. But if he lets you pay with no argument, girl get a clue! He is the gold digger not you! And he most likely doesn’t know how to manage his finances, he is probably a serial dater, and he can’t afford all the dates he goes on so he makes the “nice girls” pay. If he is not opening doors, sitting up in his seat attentive, or on his phone, get a clue!!! I can always spot the men who cheat, because they are the insecure ones.

RULLE #1 Just because they’re buff, doesn’t mean they’re confident.

Look why do we as women even have to offer to pay for a dinner date? If he asked you out, he should pay! You pay to look good and for all the upkeep of your hygiene. That cost more than dinner! Let’s make that clear! If he doesn’t open doors for you, pull chairs out for you, and give you the same curtesy you give him, you need to take that as a red flag!!!! I am so tired of repeating myself when it comes to telling women they must put themselves on a pedal stool. When my clients ask me “how do I read the red flags before I get too invested?” My response is always the same “By getting very clear on what you will and will not accept in a relationship. YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T WANT in a partner”. Before you even go on a date!!! You have to know who you are attracting!!!

By the way, how big is your circle of friends? How do they act? How do they speak? What type of character are they? Because you are a representation of the people and places you hang around. So now, in knowing that, who are you attracting?

Let’s make something very clear now, we can’t ever prevent someone else from cheating. That is a temptation that is coming from a place of lack, insecurity, and selfish desires. However, when you know what your dating intentions are right from the start, you attract likeminded individuals who have similar dating intentions. The red flags are in the reciprocation of their words and actions to you, and in responds to your words and actions. In other words, when we know what we want in a partner, and are living a life that represents that kind of character, we attract similar energy in the people and places we hang around. You show the world who you are in all the places you go, the way you speak, how you carry yourself, the words you use to articulate, and in the people in your circle.

How Are You Attracting Men to You?

See, forgiving infidelity means owning your part! Thats right, you played a part in choosing that relationship, which means you play a part in the events that happen in that relationship. When you allow someone into your life that is not in alignment with your dating goals, you set yourself up for failure in your dating life. Did you have dating goals before you met? Or are you setting dating goals before you meet your next partner? Which brings me to this very important topic, of “how are you attracting men to you?”

If you were cheated on recently or in the past, that most likely happened because you didn’t have any dating goals to begin with! If you dated with intentions, you could have read the signs before you were invested or before the relationship got to a place of “lack”. See, if you attracted “likeminded” men and you connected with them on a mental and spiritual level, and eliminate the physical parts, the relationship would be built on a firm foundation right out of the gate. The bible talks a lot about building a “firm foundation” in all areas of our life. I said I wasn’t going to get religious, and I promise I won’t. However, this theory of “having a firm foundation” begins when you learn to have self-respect, self-control, and self- love first and foremost! You must have a firm foundation under your own roof before you allow others to enter into your life. When you work on your own world, you go on a date and discover other individuals who have self-respect, self-control, and self- love, too.

When you meet someone, you’re in alignment with, together you trust, communicate, and have humility towards each other, and your views, and your relationship goals become clear! Even if it doesn’t go beyond one date, or a few dates, or even a few months, you will have the ability to address issues before they turn into infidelity and enjoy the dating process. Furthermore, you will spot the red flags way in advance! You will know the men you don’t align with just by looking at their online presence and profiles, or on the first date. When you build a firm foundation and hold yourself accountable for the men you attract, you avoid long-term relationships that have no real potential for survival.

It is possible to have happy, healthy relationships without drama or other traumatic events. Just be mindful that you are responsible for all your dating relationships, and you begin to gain control of who you attract into your life, or who you exclude from your life.

If you struggle in your dating life and you want to learn how to have happier, healthier relationships and date men who will respect you, let’s connect. Tell me a little about yourself and what your dating goals are. If I feel I can help you, I will be in touch! If you want to transform your life completely from the outside in, contact me now!

Let’s stay connected on social media… follow my Instagram below at Ms. Christina Ditzel

Dating yourself before ‘The Person’

CHRISTINA DITZEL Leave a comment

So many people struggling in their dating life. And do you know why? Because they don’t even know how they want to be treated and yet they put expectations on someone else to meet their criteria. I think by now I have earned a gold star for “Top Performing single women”. It has been 7 long years and sometimes, yes, I feel like I might be single forever! But let’s be honest, once you’ve mastered the skill of being “single and happy” you definitely don’t want to waste time trying to get “hitched and miserable!” Dating in the 21st century has proven to be “the most dysfunctional time to date” EVER! I have been on my fair share of dating apps which….

  1. Sent me through a loop of facetime conversations that made me feel awkward as hell
  2. Text messages that were way over the top and inappropriate
  3. Phone calls that went great ……. until they didn’t!
  4. Went on more “meetup dates” that were a total waste of time

GET CLEAR ON YOUR DATING INTENTIONS

The truth is, No one knows how to be clear on their dating intentions and as a result they place all these expectations on someone else to fulfill all their dating requirements. Dating in your late 30’s, 40s or 50s is miserable and it’s just not fun anymore. These are the years we are supposed to be alive, open minded, and know what the fuck we want! Unfortunately, I think the Trump, Biden, Covid juice has literally fried everyone’s brain cells! Basically, people have lost their marbles! I have grown up with strong, independent women who require strong courageous, independent men. Unfortunately, men today have allowed the women to take the reign and they just gave up completely!

Listen Men, just because women are rediscovering their masculine sides in the corporate world (or in all worlds), does not mean you get to eat the tranquilizer of self-doubt, depression, and weakness. This leads to your narcissistic insecurities, and we DON’T WANT IT! We want you to take the reins, but we must trust you enough to lead us into abundance. If you can’t do that, we will continue to resist. And we all know where that resistance has gotten us.

The strangest thing I have encountered in dating is this “divulging of medical records, political preferences”. These things don’t really hold any real value in a relationship. When and why do we get so involved in political matters, that we allow it to literally control all our relationships? In fact, it dons not only control our relationships, but it has also taken control of our minds, body and soul. In 2019 there was so much peace in this world! Going to store was exciting because I knew I was going to meet a new stranger who was guaranteed to enlighten me, and vice versa. Now, we are 6ft apart, wearing masks, and hiding from society so we don’t catch the VID. It is fucking redundant, and those politicians are sitting up in the White House watching each and everyone one of us scramble around like a bunch of scared monkeys! And do you know what monkeys do when they are scared? They attack!

There are two sides today. On the one side, people are walking around with this entitled attitude, and on the other side they walk around with a defensive attitude. It is so exhausting! I have witnessed kids running households because their adult parents can’t get a handle on their own life. It is ridiculous! Get your shit together! Stop worrying about who is a democrat, who is a republican, who is vaccinated and who isn’t! Like really? It’s not the plaque. I can tell you first hand, I live in Florida and we have been open through most of the pandemic and I don’t see pe3ople dropping dead on the side of the road, Accept for those that have blown their brains out from feeling lonely and depressed. Get your head screwed on properly. This is not end times! Trust me, I have had my fair share of “close to death” experiences, and if God wanted me dead, he would have done it already!  I mean I clean houses for a living! Do you know how many Covid people I met? I am not dead! Unless I am a literal “ghost writer”.

Truth is, so many people have a bad habit of losing themselves in other people. It’s ironic to me how fast our human nature adapts to new cultural belief systems. Even if it’s in total conflict with our own morality. So many of us easily allow others to influence, control, or manipulate us. If I have learned anything in my seven years of singleness, it is that I love “ME” just as I am! I love all the parts of me that is allowed to grow, learn, and change daily, without holding back and without the voices in my head telling me I can’t, won’t or shouldn’t!  I explore life! When I go to heaven and they ask me what I enjoyed most, I will have so many experiences to share. I don’t want to waste the journey! Do you? Do you really want to be laying in your death bed wishing you felt loved? Like, truly loved! Do you even know what it feels like to be “truly loved, cherished, and treasured”? I am guessing you NO! Or you would not still be reading this blog.

Don’t worry your no alone! More then half of society does not know how to love, nor do they know what it feels like to be loved. And do you know why? Because of all that shit I spoke about earlier! People allow politics, media, tv, and “other people” to determine their destiny. Most of us never get the chance to reach our full potential because we are held back by the philosophies, and ideas of the world we surround ourselves in. But what if I told you that you could create an entirely different world for yourself? What if I told you that you could have the love of your life, the job of your dreams, and the power to create a life of abundance in all areas?

No! I am not going to try to sell you an overpriced program filled with information that you can find on the internet. What I am going to do is give you actionable activities that will help you determine what kind of life you really want to live. I will help you determine where you need boundaries and how to set those boundaries, so you can begin applying new behaviors that will have you performing at your best! You will have a love for life and a desire inside your soul that will have everyone wanting to drink “YOUR JUICE”! See, I believe in transformation, not motivation. What I do not believe in  is “faking it until you make it”. I think that is all bullshit!

“Why would anyone want to fake a life they can’t actually enjoy when they can build a life that truly makes them happy?”

First, if you think for one second that you will be happy when you find “your person”, you are sorely mistaken! If you are not happy today, alone with you, why would anyone else be happy with you? Furthermore, if they are not happy with you, they will be miserable with you! Making you more miserable in the process. Do you see where I am going with this? So, before you find “your person” you must first, find you! You must know the kind of person you want in your life, and then you must become the kind of person that person would want in their life! Just as important as it is for you to be happy, it is just as important for the person you are with to be happy. And you will find this works in all areas of life. Your work life, your friends and social life, even with your family life. When you have boundaries, know what you want, discover the things you don’t want in your life, and you become clear on your expectations right out the gate. It becomes very clear who is for you and who is against you. And let’s face it, we want to lose all those individuals who want to knock us down, change us, or make us feel less then or awkward about our own beliefs.  

So if you are struggling in and out of relationships that only end with you starting over and having to rediscover yourself, my advice to you would be “discover who you want to be and become that person before you meet THAT PERSON”.

If you are in a place of confusion and want to learn how to discover yourself amidst your mess, check this out! You won’t be disappointed. I may still be single after 7 years, but it is for one, by choice, and two, I would much rather be single then settled! I don’t invest in people or things that make my life unhappy, boring, inadequate, or keep me from reaching my full potential and living my best life. And neither should you!