IS RECOVERY EVEN POSSIBLE?

Yes, you can recover from heroin! I know this because I did it and I did it without any other medications or rehab centers. I don’t know how long you have been down this rabbit hole, but I can tell you it is possible to dig yourself out! Recovery is always possible no matter what your addiction is. You just have to be willing to do the work that comes with overcoming the addiction. And you can’t pick up other habits in the process! When you quite something you quite with intention. Let me ask you this, “What is waiting on the other side of your recovery”?  Think about that for a minute. You better make plans that are enticing enough to keep you from “Feenin”. Because if you do have something amazing to look forward to, you’ll fight harder. Please here me when I say, “I don’t mean a girl or guy” I don’t mean that great job you’ll have waiting for you, or any tangible or material things. All those things are temporary pleasures and if or when they fail, you will have reasons to go back to your spiral of addicted behavior. Think of achieving something for yourself when you recover. Be realistic! Think of things that won’t fail or leave you craving that “fix”. Quitting intentionally means doing this for yourself not for anyone or anything else. Changing your behavior patterns means that you don’t set yourself up for failure later. It means you don’t attach yourself to people or things that could potentially cause you harm later and cause you to relapse.

WHAT DOESN’T WORK FOR ADDICTS

I am so tired of the advice that is out there trying to help people “recover”. And here we see people who are in recovery forever! First, can I just say, “there is no one size fits all”! We don’t all heal the same. Remember that! So, what worked for me, may not work for you or your family member. You may hate my advice and it may seem completely out of the ordinary, but as someone who has overcome many different addictions, (sex, drugs, money, men, drinking, etc.) I can offer advice that worked for me. I love my own advice because I know it can work for those who have tried other programs without any success. I haven’t seen much success any other way. I honestly believe if rehab centers would change their ideas about addiction and recovery, they would have more success.

So, with all that said, let’s make one thing clear, you CAN NOT AND WILL NOT recover from anything if you keep freaking talking about it!!!! STOP CALLING YOURSELF AN ADDICT! STOP SAYING YOU’RE A “RECOVERED DRUG ADDICT or ALCOHOLIC” LOSE THE DAM LABELS! They called me an addict and an alcoholic, they called me bipolar, they said I was depressed, and put me on medications, and they were wrong! In fact, I have a full bar in my house and I have total control of myself. But if I want a dam glass of wine with my dinner, you better believe I am going to have a glass of wine with my dinner! I have never been happier, I stress less than the average human, and I am sitting here drinking a nice hot cup of tea by choice! Did you hear what I said? BY CHOICE! You have to learn how to make better choices! And to do that you must also know why you make the choices you do. I have learned to have control of my habits because I have lost the labels other people put on me. Why you do certain things has a lot to do with other people and the influence they have on you. I am not going to say it again, LOSE THE LABELS and lose the people who place labels on you.

Why don’t you just call your addiction, bad behavior patterns? Because that is all they are,” BAD HABITS”. Bad behavior patterns are learned behaviors. And we pick up behaviors due to circumstances in our life, people influencing us, trauma, and many other reasons. But if we can learn a behavior we can unlearn them too. Dah! Wouldn’t it be easier to quit a bad habit, vs staying in “recovery” and collecting your little coins month after month, year after year? “Yea let’s collect a jar of coins to remind me every freaking day how fucked up I am!!! That sounds like a grand-ol’ ldea!” That is ridiculous!! IT’S STUPID!

Is this why we go through those horrible withdraws? Just to struggle to stay sober, to go through depression, and to continue to be stressed about not being high? Why do we have to go through that for the rest of our life just because we picked up a bad habit that we can actually overcome with the right training.  No instead we sit around and feel sorry for ourselves with counselors who are like “Oh let’s talk about your feelings today”. WHAT FEELINGS? I have been walking around numb for years you ass hole!!! I think I’d rather NOT!

WHAT ARE YOU REPLACING YOUR ADDICITON WITH?

Like let’s be real here, think about this for a second. Like “what kind of life are you replacing for your addiction”? Is it going to be worth it? Is it going to be amazing? Will you have something to look forward to when you wake up each morning and go to sleep at night? Because if you don’t decide to replace your old habits with a new life, the only life you will have waiting for you is the rollercoaster ride of being codependent, bipolar, and the constant struggle of trying to force yourself not to have a craving!!! Let me tell you this, the first week of withdraws from Heroin freaking sucks, and that is not even the worst part! So, you better have a dam good reason to jump on that recovery train if you ever want to get yourself on the other side of that!

Let’s not even talk about the depression from having to cope with life sober! HAHA That’s fun! You will have to learn how to cope with life differently. Learn to love yourself before you love others. Find new friends. Lose some people in your life. Replace bad habits by discovering new HOBBIES. Like, you have to learn to really love yourself and know what you want in and out of your life. You better get very clear, make a plan, and write it down, because your body will try to change your mind several times before this journey is over. Let me add one positive here before you jump off this blog scared to even try. One thing you can look forward to is a sober mind. There is nothing compared to being present with the people you love on a sober level. The mentality of people you meet and the conversations you have are incomparable. The connections you embrace will better than any high from extasy, special K, and heroin put together (and yes I have done all three and more in one night). I am just saying!!!! I won’t even mention how amazing sober sex is because you’re not there yet, but dam! Life lived sober, is so much clearer, and clarity is power my friend.

THE RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO RECOVER

Okay so doing it on my own was probably stupid on my part! I almost died in my apartment alone. But thank God I had a few good people who looked out for me and when they didn’t hear from me for a day or two, they came looking for me. I didn’t want a rehab center, because I knew they would medicate me. I saw too many friends in rehab and watched them relapse repeatedly or die of an overdoses. That to me, was like torture! Let me tell some of you who are unaware (program directors, counselors, family members, friends, etc.), when you relapse, you are worse off than where you were before, because the high you feel after you get the drug out of your system, is amazing. Not to mention the antidepressant pills the rehab center gives its patients, mix very well with heroin and other substances.

Point being, I wanted nothing to do with that! So rehab was “out” for me! There was no way I was paying someone to put me in a casket. However, you do need a support group that won’t leave you but will push you harder than you push yourself. Again, rehab centers won’t support you when you are out of the program. Trust me I witnessed this myself. But I won’t throw out names on my blog. God will deal with those individuals. Let me be clear when I say the support group you choose must be willing to break into your apartment to make sure your alive! They must be distracting you with activities and things that are fun, educational, and stimulate your mind, body, and soul. You don’t need those friends or family members who only want to be around you, when they need something from you, or when they feel you’re doing something wrong! Don’t hang around people who want to make themselves feel better at the expense of hurting you! You can’t be around people who are a constant reminder of why you got high in the first place. “To numb out the noise!” Stop talking about shit that depresses you, makes you angry, or stresses you out! And don’t be around people who drag you down! I’m tired of saying this! LOSE THE DRAMA OR LOSE YOUR LIFE!!!! It’s really that simple!

Also, Lose the ego and the winning! Put your big boy/girl pants on and suck it up, because it’s not going to be easy! I’m sick of people in recovery winning! You got yourself into this mess, now you need to get yourself out of it. If you’re truly interested in recovering, you will do whatever it takes without the pity party!

Yes! Tough love!!! That is what helped me! Sugar coating is the new trend in this society and it’s exhausting! Sugar coating doesn’t help people recover; it just pushes them off the deep end! I’ve lost too many people to “sugar coat recovery”! If you ever want to recover from Heroin (or any addiction), you have to become the hero of your own story! No one is coming to save you. You probably shit on too many people when you got high, and they don’t trust you now. Unfortunately, that’s on you! Own it and move on. Addicts are liars and that is what they tell you in rehab centers. So basically, they are telling you they don’t trust you. So, they will always question your motives. keep that in mind! You must change your own motives and forget what other people say about you and your motives. Because trust me when I say, “everyone has an opinion! And people will have a lot to say about you behind your back”.

Remember this, every Hero has a traumatic event occur before they had the power and energy to beat the villain. Think of Heroin as your Villain! It may be destroying you now; it may steal all your energy, it may be your kryptonite and consume you, but you have the power inside you to go up against this and win the battle of dependance! Don’t have expectations for people to support you when you’re too weak to support yourself, and don’t ever give up on yourself when you feel unstable. You only have yourself to encourage or to blame for your thoughts and actions. Choose to encourage yourself to keep going and continue to build a life you can look forward to. Stay strong in your mind and force your body to follow. That is the only way to overcome any addiction.

I wish you the best of luck, feel free to message me if you have any questions, or just go to christinaditzel.blog for more reading material or podcast. Follow me on YouTube and watch for new and upcoming videos on Cleaning, Clarity, Girl Talk and Vlogs.

Much love and prayers to all who have suffered and died from addiction. May we beat this together and overcome the bad habits that consume us!