Holding yourself accountable for the words you use, the people you trust, and the actions you take!

THE PEOPLE YOUR AROUND IMPACT YOUR CHARACTER

Let me start by saying this, “there are just some people you need to eliminate from your life”! The people we surround ourselves with are a direct reflection of who we are, and that is usually who we don’t want to be! There are some people, that we know are not good for us or our character and yet we allow these people to have a hold on us, and we don’t know why. You know the people I’m talking about! Every time you’re with “this person” or “those people” a feeling of regret overwhelms you, or you end up frustrated, stressed, and upset with yourself for not saying the thing, or making better choices when you’re with them. Staying away from such people is the only way to live life free from all that guilt and shame you carry around with you. It will give you space to move into a life filled with grace and mercy, for yourself and for others.

There comes a time in one’s life when we feel compelled to make choices that may not fit the views of those around us. But when we allow room to reflect, we leave space for wisdom and understanding about our own choices in life. To learn, grow, and change our spiritual walk, we must be willing to face the reflection in the mirror and walk different. In other words, we can stop doing (and saying) the things we hate, but we must change the way we think about life and view the world around us. We can start living a life that reflects the kind of character we want to be. And stop the role we play to appease everyone else who expects us to act a certain way. This truth (our true character) that lives inside of us is different for each of us, and we change in every season of life. Well, we should be changing and growing in every season of life! Please understand that! Get that last statement! Because when you know “your truth”, you don’t just build character, you become the main character in your own story! And that story becomes a God given life full of potential, opportunities, and unexpected blessings. If you want your words to match your actions, you must leave some people behind and out of your story! They can be there for a moment as a lesson for you, but don’t keep them around too long, because you will end up playing a victim role in their story! And as a result, you just end up being a villain in your own story or the main character in someone else’s! And that is not good if they are the one’s creating your character!

PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS

The red flags are always there for you to see! They come to you as feelings through emotions like discomfort, fear, anxiousness, and/or annoyance. In my case I would say it’s mostly annoyance! (Giggles at self for being annoyed that I allowed other people to get me out of character! ha, ha! Funny, not funny!) There are thoughts that come to mind before our emotions provoke us into action. But for some reason it’s easier to ignore the red flag and just go with the flow. Or just react to what seems familiar, just to make other people comfortable. So many of us end up doing the thing we hate most! We do things that will sometimes even hurt us later, and we do it just to please other people in the moment. This is a behavior many of us have adapt to and it’s become normal behavior for many of us. Mostly because religion tells us to be kind and courteous of others. I mean, of course that is a great value to have! But I am here to help you and say, “we have the power to take control of our own words and actions”! Which builds our character!

If this all sounds familiar to you and you get completely out of character around certain people, most likely your words don’t reflect your actions! You’ve probably become a gossiper, a liar, bitter, always stressed out, and you may have even lost good people in your life at the expense of pleasing people, who have ulterior motives. This becomes a problem for you, your character, and the lifestyle you live! If you don’t learn to read the red flags, get a handle on yourself, and have the ability to initiate boundaries, you will be headed for a dreadful story filled with drama, loss, anxiety, health issues, and so much more trauma!

Now, if you’re a church person or a religious person you were most likely raised with certain beliefs that inevitably dictates how you look at others and how you look at yourself. For example, I was raised Catholic with very restricted Lebanese family morals. Through my own choices (influenced by others that I allowed to control me), I left home at a young age. I lived a wildlife that led to unexpected trauma which eventually lead me to a personal relationship with the Trinity. (God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) Yes, I was introduced to God at a very young age, so it came back around later in life. But let’s make it very clear, “The standards I have for my life and my children’s life, are not equal to the restricted standards my parents held for me!”

I didn’t always believe in a purpose driven life. I just lived life going through the motions with no real awareness of myself, my surroundings, or the people I hung around. It wasn’t until I was affected by all the Red Flags that I ignored through the years, that I and ended up in Jail, homeless, and losing everything. Eventually when I realized no one was coming to answer my cry’s for help, I turned to God for real help. I now live as if every moment counts and every person who crosses my path was placed here with purpose. That is not to say every single person is meant to stay in my life. Some people are meant to give a message to me or to get a message from me. While others may be in my life for long seasons others may be with me for a lifetime. Either way, we all go through certain experiences, and we are all on our own journey! However, the faster we read the red flags, the faster we get back on track, and in the main character of our own story! Your personal growth and life depend on how well you recognize the red flags of distraction that come into your life! So, pay attention to those red flags and get a handle on your reaction to them.

GET A HANDLE ON YOURSELF

To overcome different trauma or different circumstances you must change the way you handle yourself. It is imperative that we grow as individuals and become stronger for all the amazing things we desire in life. What does YOUR story say about you and YOUR character? The only way to grow as a person is to learn new behavior and change old ones. The key here is to learn new behaviors, but to do that you must be held accountable for your own actions and stop blaming other people. You allowed these people into your life with all their red flags and toxic drama. You don’t get to blame them for your own idiocy year after year! You can only blame other people for your own actions once, after that its on you! You need to get a handle on yourself before you wreck yourself again and again.

THE FOUNDATION THAT FORMS OUR CHARACTER

How does one form a new character when we’ve been so impacted by others and hurt by so many things in life? Well, we decide to do all of the above, let’s recap

1. We eliminate people
2. We read the red flags  
3. We hold ourselves accountable
4. We build the foundation that forms our character

Number 4 is probably the most enjoyable of the list. When I think of the trauma and drama, I have been through in the past, and then I think of the things I desire in the future, I go back to the examples and lessons Jesus gave us throughout the bible. I try to keep His words with me as lessons, constructive criticism, accountability, boundaries, and a base structure for a healthy, happy walk through life. All the foundations you need are there in the bible, I promise! And it is different for each, and every one of us! I am well aware that I may losing some of you by bringing up the bible and Jesus’s talk! But just hear me out for just a one minute! The foundations we use to build our character is so important to the life we live moving into each chapter! If you want to see major change in the next season, I promise these four simple steps will change not only your perspective on life, but your entire role in this life!

What is important to you? When you can answer that honestly you will discover the point in time where your life meets pure enjoyment and pleasure in the journey! Many churchy people say we can’t enjoy life and a walk with God is nothing but pain, struggle, and spiritual warfare. But I am here to tell you those are all lies! Jesus was the coolest sneakiest dude in his day! He literally hid in the crowds and ran from psychopaths who He didn’t want to be around all the time!

I was not raised to have a personal relationship with Jesus, or even understand the foundations of the bible, but there were values I grew up that are in the bible. And there were values I grew up with that the bible warns us about too. Maybe you live by some of those foundations right now. I don’t know! But you’re reading this article and I do know this, “there are many of us who have been hurt by the church and by the beliefs of other people who manipulated and dictated” and now we’ve found ourselves acting and living in ways that are not conducive to the lifestyle we desire. If that is you, and you are uncomfortable in your own skin or struggling to find confidence in your own life, I am here to tell you, that “the foundation you build today will impact the character you become tomorrow”.

In fact, if you spend time alone and read the WORD and then take the instruction you get from it and use the foundations in your own life, you will see an instantaneous change in yourself, and miracles will begin to happen in your life daily! I can say this with full confidence because I have done life both ways. I have tried it following other people, I have tried it my own way, and I have done it Jesus’s way! Can I just say, His burden is so much lighter than the burdens of other people, and the burdens I placed on myself when I did what I wanted. The main character in YOUR STORY depends on the foundation you use to build good character traits. So, what does the main character in your story look like? Who are you? What foundation will you utilize to build your character?

TO BE CONTINUED…